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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28635198">Worth the Wait (Death Note fan fiction)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamKat/pseuds/TamKat'>TamKat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:55:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>47,169</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28635198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamKat/pseuds/TamKat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Story Summary:</b> When Aizawa starts to have strong romantic feelings for Matsuda, he initially tries to hide it. But as these feelings continue to grow stronger, will he end up confessing to Matsuda? And if he does, just how will Matsuda handle this news? It could be the start of a beautiful relationship, or it could put their current friendship in jeopardy. </p>
<p><b>Chapter One Summary:</b> After a fight with his wife, Aizawa comes to see Matsuda. Much to Matsuda's surprise...and delight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aizawa Shuuichi/Matsuda Touta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. An Unexpected Guest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have previously posted short stories about Aizawa and Matsuda on here. This, however, will be the longer form of their story, filling in all that happened before, in-between, and after the shorts I already posted. I will leave the individual short stories up, but they will also be future chapters of this work.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aizawa was the last person that Matsuda expected to see when he answered a knock on his front door. Yet when he opened it, he found Aizawa standing there. As if this were not surprising enough, Matsuda also noticed how Aizawa did not seem like himself; he looked depressed and dejected. </p>
<p>“Aizawa,” Matsuda said. “What’s wrong?” </p>
<p>“Eriko’s leaving me,” he said quietly. “She kicked me out of the house and said she wants a divorce.” </p>
<p>Matsuda could not believe it. He knew that Aizawa’s wife had been having trouble with his long hours at work, but he had never realized that it could lead to this. </p>
<p>“Come in and sit down,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>Aizawa took a seat on the couch as Matsuda went to his refrigerator. He pulled out a couple of beers, opened them, and handed one to Aizawa. Matsuda took a seat on the edge of the coffee table across from him. </p>
<p>“Aizawa, what happened?” Matsuda asked him. </p>
<p>“Just what I said,” Aizawa replied, taking a rather large swig from his beer bottle. “Eriko said that she can’t take it anymore. My long hours, the nights when I don’t come home until midnight because I’m working. And the nights where I don’t come home at all.” </p>
<p>Matsuda took a sip of his own beer as he thought this over. Why had Aizawa come to him to talk about this? Matsuda didn’t mind at all, but it seemed odd to him that Aizawa had sought him out. </p>
<p>“Maybe Eriko just needs some time to calm down. To think things over,” Matsuda said, trying to offer some level of comfort for his friend. “I take it she was angry when she said all of that, right? We say all kinds of things that we don’t mean when we’re mad. Things we later regret saying. Give her a day or two and then try to talk to her again. She might even call you.” </p>
<p>Aizawa shook his head. “Not very likely. Not at all likely, in fact.” </p>
<p>“Aizawa, have you considered maybe leaving the Task Force?” Matsuda said. “We don’t want you to leave of course, and you’re an important member of the team. But if it could possibly save your marriage, maybe it’s worth thinking about.” </p>
<p>“My marriage was on the rocks before I joined the Kira investigation,” Aizawa said. “Leaving now won’t solve anything. And I don’t want to leave anyhow.” </p>
<p>“Can I ask you something?” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“Go ahead.” </p>
<p>“I’m a little surprised you came to me for this,” Matsuda told him. “Don’t get me wrong, I mean I don’t mind. It just seems like you would have gone to Ide, Mogi, or even the Chief about this sort of thing. Why did you come to me?” </p>
<p>“As you know, Ide and I have a long history together,” Aizawa said. “We’re the same age, we’ve worked together for years, and he’s a great friend. But he’s always been a little skeptical about Eriko. He doesn’t really care for her and he never did trust her either. If I can, I’d still like to work things out with Eriko, but Ide's been saying that I should get a divorce for months now. And that's just not something I want to deal with at the moment.” </p>
<p>“I see,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“And Mogi’s the opposite,” Aizawa said. “I’m sure he would listen to what happened, but he wouldn’t offer much in the way of words or advice. And the Chief has his own family. The last thing I want to do is disrupt them.” </p>
<p>“So by process of elimination, I was the best choice,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“Process of elimination?” Aizawa asked, sounding incredulous. “You were my first choice, you idiot. It’s not like I considered the others and then settled for coming to you. I knew instinctively that you would be the most understanding.” </p>
<p>Matsuda was quiet for the next few seconds. He actually felt flattered that Aizawa thought highly enough of Matsuda to confide in him so much. Despite the “idiot” remark. </p>
<p>“Thanks, Aizawa,” Matsuda said. “That means a lot.” </p>
<p>Aizawa actually smiled slightly as he added, “And you have the best beer.” </p>
<p>“I’m not going to argue with you about that,” Matsuda said with a laugh. “Listen, I’m sure everything will work itself out with Eriko. In the meantime, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to. There is a spare room. It’s kind of small, but it's yours if you want it. I have a futon you can use, too.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Aizawa paused and added, “As long as I need to? Are you sure about that? Because it might be for awhile.” </p>
<p>“I really don’t mind,” Matsuda told him. “And besides, in a couple of weeks, we’ll all be moving into the new headquarters that Ryuzaki is building.” He thought of something then and added, “Hey, there you go!” </p>
<p>Aizawa looked confused. “What are you talking about?” </p>
<p>“When we go to the new headquarters, you can move the whole family in there,” Matsuda said. “Ryuzaki showed us the rooms on his computer. They’re huge. Actually, they’re more like apartments. Maybe Ryuzaki could even give you your own floor. He’s doing that for Misa-Misa. If your entire family is there, he could probably do the same for you.” </p>
<p>“It wouldn’t make any difference.” </p>
<p>“Sure it would. Think about it. This way, you wouldn’t be far from your family at all,” Matsuda said. “You would just be downstairs if they needed you. You could still have dinner with them every night and be there when the kids go to bed. If we needed to call you in, all you have to do is go downstairs, not drive across town. You could be with your family more often this way. And I’m sure they would want that.” </p>
<p>“That’s not the point, Matsuda,” Aizawa said. “I already told you, things were rocky between me and Eriko before I joined this investigation. And when I did join, that was just the last straw for her. She’s not going to want to suddenly move our family into a new building, where she and the kids don’t really know anyone, aside from you, of course. And she’s not going to want to raise them in an environment like that. Where they would hear us talking about killings and Kira. I can’t say I blame her for that. I don’t want them to hear about that stuff either.” </p>
<p>“I understand,” Matsuda said. “Sorry about that. It was just a suggestion.” </p>
<p>“No, that’s alright. I can mention it to Eriko, but I don’t expect her to go along with it.” Aizawa sighed. “Maybe this was all for the best.” </p>
<p>It sounded like Aizawa had already given up. Or maybe at this point, he just could not see any other option. Matsuda decided to try and get his mind off things for now. </p>
<p>“Hey, what do you say we go get dinner somewhere?” Matsuda suggested. </p>
<p>“I’m not hungry,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“Alright, let me put it this way.” Matsuda gave him a small smile and said, “You’re staying with me and as long as that’s the case, I’m not going to let you waste away. The last thing I need is something <i>else</i> for everyone to blame me for.” </p>
<p>Aizawa gave a small laugh. “Fine then. Let’s go eat.” </p>
<p>“Great,” Matsuda said. “Just let me get my coat and we’ll go. I know of a new place just a few blocks away that’s really good.” </p>
<p>Matsuda retrieved his coat from his bedroom and returned to find Aizawa looking as if he were deep in thought. </p>
<p>“Ready to go?” Matsuda asked him.<br/>
</p>
<p>“Where did it all go wrong, Matsuda?” Aizawa asked. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” </p>
<p>“I keep trying to think back and see if there were some early indications that my marriage was in trouble,” Aizawa said. “But when it was still early enough that I could have done something about it.” </p>
<p>Matsuda took a seat beside Aizawa and waited for him to continue. </p>
<p>“I think it all started with just some minor irritation with each other, getting annoyed with one another. A lot.” Aizawa paused. “That’s when I should have tried to fix it, but I didn’t realize that it meant there would be bigger problems later on. That minor irritation turned into little squabbles over small things, then large squabbles over bigger things, and then major fights over just about everything. Especially recently. It’s weird. It seems like everything happened so gradually, yet so quickly, too. So that I never even noticed it.” </p>
<p>“I’m sure you did everything you could,” Matsuda said.”And you don’t know if it would have changed the outcome in the end either.”</p>
<p>Aizawa looked over at him. “I’m sorry to dump all of this on you. We were going to eat, right? Let’s go.” </p>
<p>“Aizawa, if you want to talk about this, I don’t mind. Maybe it’s better if you talk about it, actually.” </p>
<p>“I think that was about it. I was just wondering if there were signs that I had missed. But I think you’re right. I’m not sure it would have changed the outcome either.”</p>
<p>Matsuda thought over what he had just said. “I didn’t mean that there isn’t any hope for you and Eriko. I mean, I wasn’t telling you to just give up.” </p>
<p>“I know. Don’t worry about it.” Aizawa stood up. “Let’s go eat. And I’m buying.” </p>
<p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Matsuda told him. </p>
<p>“I mean it,” Aizawa said. “Listen, you’re letting me stay with you. The least I can do is buy your dinner.” </p>
<p>“Aizawa—” </p>
<p>“I wasn’t asking you, I was telling you,” Aizawa said firmly. </p>
<p>Matsuda knew better than to argue with Aizawa once his mind was made up. So instead, Matsuda agreed with him and they walked the few blocks down to the new restaurant that he had told Aizawa about. And Matsuda was able to talk him into eating something, too. </p>
<p>When they got back to Matsuda’s place, he got out the futon, a couple of blankets, and a pillow. He set it all up in the spare room for Aizawa. </p>
<p>“I really do appreciate you letting me stay here, Matsuda,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“It’s no problem,” Matsuda told him. “I’m usually alone. So, it’ll be nice to have company for a change. Need anything else?” </p>
<p>“No, that’s fine.” </p>
<p>“Great. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.” </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Matsuda.” </p>
<p>Matsuda changed and climbed into bed, thinking about Aizawa’s situation. He knew there was nothing he could do about it, but he wished he could help Aizawa somehow. He was still a bit surprised that Aizawa had come to him first. He obviously trusted Matsuda a lot more than Matsuda thought he did. </p>
<p>Still, Matsuda couldn't deny that he had been a little excited to find Aizawa at his door earlier. There had always been a part of Matsuda that wished he and Aizawa could be more than friends. He didn’t expect Aizawa to requite these feelings, however, nor did Matsuda wish to break up Aizawa’s marriage. </p>
<p>What Aizawa needed right now was a friend. And Matsuda was grateful to at least have that with Aizawa, even if nothing more ever came of it. And he would do what he could to help Aizawa keep his marriage together, too. </p>
<p>Even if all Aizawa needed at the moment was someone to talk to and a place to stay, then Matsuda was more than happy to help him out with that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Right Choice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Matsuda's cheerful and understanding personality, turn out to be just what Aizawa needs right now. And he realizes that he made the right choice in coming to Matsuda's place the previous night.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aizawa awoke to the smells of pancakes and freshly brewed coffee. At first, it took him a few seconds to remember where he was. Then a few seconds more to remember why. He stood up and made his way into the kitchen. </p>
<p>“Morning,” Aizawa said.</p>
<p>“Hey, good morning!” Matsuda responded. Even at this early hour, he was as cheerful as he always was. “Hungry? I made enough for both of us.” </p>
<p>“Even if I’m not hungry, you’re going to make me eat something, aren’t you?” </p>
<p>Matsuda chuckled. “I won’t force you. But if you refuse to eat, I <i>will</i> annoy you about it to no end until you do.” </p>
<p>“That I believe,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>He approached Matsuda’s kitchen counter and sat down. Matsuda sat a plate of pancakes down in front of him. </p>
<p>“Coffee?” Matsuda asked him. </p>
<p>“Please,” Aizawa responded. </p>
<p>Matsuda poured two cups of coffee and set one of them down in front of Aizawa. Then he took a seat across from Aizawa and began eating as if he had not eaten all month. </p>
<p>“Matsuda, slow down,” Aizawa told him. </p>
<p>“I’m hungry,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“I can see that, but I’m afraid you’re going to choke.” </p>
<p>“Aww,” Matsuda said lightly. “That must be your way of saying you care about me.” </p>
<p>“No I don’t.” </p>
<p>“You’re a horrible liar, Aizawa,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“Shut up and eat,” Aizawa told him. </p>
<p>They finished breakfast and got ready for work, deciding that it only made sense if they carpooled to work together. </p>
<p>“Should I drive?” Matsuda asked. </p>
<p>“I don’t know…” Aizawa said. “I’d like to get there on time.” </p>
<p>“I’m never late!” </p>
<p>Aizawa smiled. “Who’s the horrible liar now?” </p>
<p>Nonetheless, Aizawa conceded to Matsuda driving and they arrived at the hotel that L was using for their meeting this week. In a few days, he would no doubt change hotels again. Aizawa understood why L did not want to stay in one place for too long, but he would be glad when the new headquarters were finished and their location did not have to change on a weekly basis. </p>
<p>They walked inside to find the others already assembled there. </p>
<p>“Good morning, Aizawa, Matsuda,” Ide greeted them. “You’re hardly ever here at the same time. Usually, Matsuda’s at least five minutes late.” </p>
<p>“Told you,” Aizawa said to him. Then he turned to Ide and added, “He’s only here early because I didn’t want to be late.” </p>
<p>“What are you talking about?” Ide said. “Did you come here together?” </p>
<p>“Well...yeah,” Aizawa said. “I’m staying with Matsuda right now, so it seemed like a better idea if we carpooled here.” </p>
<p>“You’re staying with Matsuda? Why?” Ide asked. </p>
<p>Aizawa knew that he would have to tell the others that he was staying with Matsuda, and he did not mind doing so. He was hesitant about telling Ide, however, because he knew Ide would probably feel hurt that Aizawa did not come to him first. </p>
<p>Still, Aizawa told the others about everything that had happened between him and Eriko. </p>
<p>“...And she says she wants a divorce,” Aizawa finished as a deep sadness began to set in again. “I’ll try to change her mind, but I don’t think I can.” </p>
<p>The Chief approached him and said, “I’m very sorry to hear about this, Aizawa. If it would help, you could take some time off to be with your family. And as much as we want you to stay on the Task Force, if you think leaving could save your marriage, none of us will try to stop you.” </p>
<p>Matsuda had suggested the same thing and Aizawa gave the Chief the same answer he had given to Matsuda. He knew that leaving the Task Force would not change Eriko’s mind. Their problems went deeper than that. If he left the Task Force, he would just be sitting around at Matsuda’s place all day long. </p>
<p>“I understand,” the Chief said. “But if you ever do need the time, just let me know.” </p>
<p>“Thank you, Chief.” </p>
<p>Matsuda was gathering some reports from L, and Aizawa headed over there to see if there was anything new since yesterday. He did not get very far though, before Ide stopped him. </p>
<p>“Aizawa, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. </p>
<p>Aizawa followed Ide away from the others, already aware of what Ide wanted to talk about. “What’s wrong?” </p>
<p>“To be honest, I’m a little insulted that you didn’t come to me,” Ide said. “We’ve known each other for several years now and you’re one of my closest friends. I wouldn’t have minded you staying with me for awhile.” </p>
<p>Aizawa sighed. “Alright, look. I didn’t come to you because I know how you feel about Eriko. You don’t like her very much and you never did trust her. I just didn’t need to hear all of that right now. I’d still like to work things out with her if I can. But you were already telling me that I should get a divorce months ago.” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Aizawa,” Ide said. “Of course, if there’s a way you and Eriko can save your marriage, then you should. But my door’s always open and from now on, I won’t say anything more about it.” </p>
<p>“Thank you, Ide,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>He joined Matsuda and L to look over the new reports. </p>
<p>“Everything okay with you and Ide?” Matsuda asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah, he was just a little disappointed that I came to you instead of going to him.” </p>
<p>“That’s good to know, actually,” Matsuda said with a small smile. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” </p>
<p>“I’m bound to get tired of you eventually. Now I know who I can pawn you off to when that happens.” </p>
<p>“What happened to ‘you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to?’” Aizawa asked. </p>
<p>“Oh that,” Matsuda said lightly, handing a couple of the reports to Aizawa, “I forgot to add, ‘or until I can’t stand you any longer.’” </p>
<p>Aizawa gave a small laugh and turned to the reports Matsuda had just given him. </p>
<p>“Damn it,” he muttered as he read the first part. </p>
<p>“What is it?” Matsuda asked. </p>
<p>“Three more deaths occurred in just the last two days,” Aizawa told him. “There are witnesses for each death, and the witnesses all say that before dying, the person doubled over in pain and collapsed.” </p>
<p>“Kira again,” Matsuda said. “The sooner we catch that guy, the better.” </p>
<p>“Should we go talk to the witnesses?” Aizawa asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s go,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>As it turned out, all of the witnesses were forthcoming with information. Except for one man who refused to say anything because he thought Kira would kill him if he did. But even from those who talked to them, Aizawa and Matsuda did not learn anything different than what they already knew from reading the reports. </p>
<p>Throughout the day, however, whenever there was even the slightest lull in their work, Aizawa’s mind reverted back to the troubles he was facing with Eriko. Matsuda seemed to be able to tell when something was bothering Aizawa, because he would make a joke to lighten the mood, or start talking about something to get Aizawa’s mind off of other things. And it worked just about every time. </p>
<p>Matsuda didn’t give his opinion on what he thought Aizawa should do or not do, yet if Aizawa has a specific concern, Matsuda did what he could to offer advice. And Matsuda was just so naturally light-hearted and easygoing as it was, that he did give Aizawa an occasional break from the otherwise constant thoughts about his failing marriage. </p>
<p>Aizawa had been telling the truth when he told Matsuda that he was the first person that Aizawa thought of yesterday. Matsuda initially thought that Aizawa had come to him as a last resort, but he just knew that Matsuda would be the most understanding and neutral when it came to Aizawa’s current situation. Aizawa was beginning to think, more and more, that staying with Matsuda was better than staying with Ide or any of the others after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. For the Best</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eriko stops by to finalize the divorce between she and Aizawa. Fortunately, Matsuda is there to help him through it. And Aizawa can't help but notice just how much he's beginning to enjoy Matsuda's company.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week had gone by now and Aizawa still had barely spoken to Eriko. He had called to let her know where he was staying and to speak to Yumi a few times, but that was it. Matsuda suggested that he try calling Eriko more often to try and talk things over. Anytime he spoke to her though, it seemed like Eriko just wasn't that interested in hearing from him very much.  </p><p>He was in the kitchen, when he heard Matsuda’s doorbell ring. Through the kitchen door, he heard Matsuda say, “Eriko, please come in.” </p><p>Eriko’s voice replied. “Hello, Matsuda. Is Shuichi here?” </p><p>Aizawa could not figure out what his wife was doing here. Did she want him to come home? Perhaps she wanted them to do their best to work out their problems. </p><p>Matsuda entered the kitchen. "Aizawa, your wife's here."</p><p>Aizawa walked into the living room, Eriko had come inside, but she remained near the door. “Hi, Eriko. What are you doing here?” </p><p>“I came by to bring you these.” She indicated three suitcases that Aizawa had not noticed at first. Then she held a large envelope out toward him. “And this as well.” </p><p>“I don’t understand. What’s in the suitcases?” </p><p>“The rest of your clothes and other things you might need that you didn’t bring with you last time.” </p><p>He reached over and took the envelope from Eriko and opened it. There were several papers inside all clipped together. Aizawa read the heading on the topmost page and felt his stomach drop. </p><p>“Divorce papers. Why?” </p><p>“Shuichi, we discussed this.” </p><p>“No, we didn’t. All you said was that you wanted a divorce, and then you kicked me out of the house. We didn’t talk about it at all. I thought we could try to work out everything.” </p><p>“We’ve already tried that. More than once. And it has never helped us.” Eriko paused. “We work everything out, and we’re great for a week or two, but then everything just goes back to the way it was. Arguing all the time and about everything. This is for the best. I know it is.” </p><p>“Oh, <i>you</i> know it is?” Aizawa said. “Because I sure don’t.” </p><p>“You always have to be right, don't you, Shuichi?” Eriko said. “You’re so stubborn that it’s almost pointless to argue with you at all.” </p><p>Aizawa did not want a fight right now, but he was having trouble keeping his temper. “I don’t always have to be right, but you always assume that I’m wrong anyway. So what difference does it make?” </p><p>“Come on, Shuichi. You know that’s not fair.” </p><p>“Fair?” Aizawa said angrily. “You want to talk about fair? Is it fair, for you to decide, all on your own, that our marriage is over? Without talking to me about it?” </p><p>“Is it fair for you to be so attached to your job that you don’t even come home most nights?” </p><p>“Well, excuse me for providing for my family,” Aizawa said. “And don’t you throw the Kira investigation in my face. I knew we were already having problems, so I asked you before I decided to stay on the case, if I should or not.” </p><p>“And I told you to think about it.” </p><p>“Which I did. Finally deciding that I wanted to do it.” </p><p>“Look, it’s true we were having problems before you took this case,” Eriko said. “But sticking with this investigation didn’t help matters.” </p><p>“This is why I asked you beforehand. So you wouldn’t use it against me later. Which is exactly what you’re doing right now.” Aizawa paused, trying to compose himself. “You told me to think about it. If you really didn’t want me to take it, all you had to do was tell me. But you didn’t give me a yes or a no, you left it up to me to decide. And you should have known what my decision would be.” </p><p>“I thought that by telling you to think about it, you would actually think about your family and realize that it wasn’t worth it to take such a large case.” </p><p>“I’m doing this for my family,” Aizawa told her. “You left the decision up to me when you really didn’t want me to take this case. I decided to do it and I’m not leaving it now. I don’t want to leave it anyhow.” </p><p>“So you’re telling me that if I had told you not to take the Kira case, you wouldn’t have done it?” </p><p>“That’s right.” </p><p>“Are you sure? Because usually, you’ll just go ahead and do what <i>you</i> ultimately want to do.” </p><p>“Because I’m so damn stubborn, right?” </p><p>“Shuichi, listen to us. We’re arguing about arguing. You see what I mean?” Eriko said. “And this is how it’s been for almost a year now. You and I can’t have a regular conversation without it turning into a fight. Do you really see this getting any better?” </p><p>Aizawa knew she was right. But he was trying to hold on to whatever shred of hope that he could for their marriage. It was true though. And things had only become worse between them over the last few months. He could tell that it wouldn’t get any better. </p><p>“What about the kids?” Aizawa asked her. </p><p>“I don’t have any reason to keep them away from you and I don’t intend to,” Eriko said. “Anytime you want to see them, or they want to see you, it’s fine with me.” </p><p>“I appreciate that. Thank you.” Aizawa turned to the papers in his hands. </p><p>“Listen, if you don’t want to sign those now, you don’t have to. You can just bring them by tomorrow or something.” </p><p>“No, it’s alright,” Aizawa said with more bitterness than he intended to. He wanted to sign them now and get it over with. </p><p>He sat down on the couch and signed each indicated space. Yet, with each signature, he felt a new stab of pain and sadness go through him. His mind was whirling with memories, fond memories, of him and Eriko.</p><p>He finished signing, put them back into the envelope, and stood up as he handed the envelope to Eriko. She took it from him and Aizawa was sure he saw her blink back a few tears. </p><p>“Eriko…” </p><p>“No, I’m okay. It’s for the best, remember?” she said. </p><p>Aizawa nodded, wondering if it really was or not. For all of the arguing they did, it was still sad for him, and probably for Eriko, too. Neither of them ever thought that it would end like this. </p><p>“I should probably get going.” Eriko hesitated, but then hugged Aizawa before leaving. “Take care, Shuichi.” </p><p>Aizawa hugged her in return. “You too.” </p><p>As Eriko closed the door behind her, Aizawa sat on the couch and realized that he had been holding back some tears as well. He put his head in his hands and let them go now as he wondered once more why exactly it had to come to this. </p><p>Aizawa didn’t know that Matsuda had come back in, until he spoke. "You alright?" </p><p>Aizawa wiped his eyes and looked up. "I'll be okay."</p><p>“I feel like I should tell you that I heard everything,” Matsuda said. “I wasn’t trying to listen in, but...well, I couldn’t help but overhear.” </p><p>“Sorry about that,” Aizawa said. “You got a glimpse of what’s been going on at home for the past few months.” </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Aizawa. I know this isn’t what you wanted.” </p><p>“No, but I guess it was inevitable. It was bound to happen sooner or later.” </p><p>“At least she’s still going to let you see the kids,” Matsuda said. “And you know that they’re welcome over here anytime.” </p><p>“I was going to ask you if you would mind them coming over here sometime,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“You should have already known that it wouldn’t be an issue,” Matsuda said. </p><p>Matsuda was really the only other member of the Task Force who knew Aizawa's family. It turned out that Matsuda was great with children and Aizawa's kids loved spending time with him. </p><p>“Yumi does love it whenever she gets to see her Uncle Matsu,” Aizawa said lightly. “I think it’s because you’re on the same maturity level as she is.” </p><p>“You’re going through a hard time, so I’m going to let that comment slide for now,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“You know what I was thinking about as I was signing those papers?” Aizawa asked. “I was reflecting on when I first met Eriko, our first date, the night I proposed, our wedding, and the birth of our kids, all of it. Every happy memory I’ve shared with Eriko flashed through my mind. That sure didn’t make it any easier.” </p><p>“Look, if there’s anything I can do, just let me know.” </p><p>“Thanks, Matsu. But you’re already doing so much just by letting me stay here.” Aizawa glanced over at the suitcases that Eriko had brought. “Looks like a more permanent situation now. At least until we move into the new headquarters. But you know, if you ever want me to—-”</p><p>Matsuda interrupted. “Don’t say it. You’re staying here until the headquarters are ready. I won’t have it any other way.” </p><p>Aizawa smiled. “I want to be appreciative, Matsu, but now it’s starting to sound like a hostage situation. It would be kind of awkward to call in the rest of the Task Force because they have to rescue me from you.” </p><p>“That’s it,” Matsuda said lightly. “I’m dropping you off on Ide’s doorstep.” </p><p>“Just when I was starting to like it here,” Aizawa replied. </p><p>In truth, he did like having Matsuda around at times like this. Aizawa had noticed how much it helped him to have Matsuda there to talk to about these things. It also helped that Matsuda was just naturally easy to talk to, didn't complain or judge Aizawa, and no matter how bad he felt or how down he was, Matsuda was able to lighten the mood and cheer him up. </p><p>He had realized before that he had made a wise choice in deciding to come to Matsuda that day one week ago. Aizawa was even more confident about this now. He did not readily expect Matsuda to invite Aizawa to stay with him, but Matsuda had not hesitated in the least. And he did seem to really enjoy Aizawa’s company. A feeling that was mutual on Aizawa’s part. </p><p>Once the headquarters were complete and they all moved in there, a part of Aizawa was really going to miss this.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Weekend Visit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aizawa finally gets to spend some time with his kids over the weekend. He also starts to realize that he's seeing Matsuda in a whole different way.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One week later, Aizawa got to spend some time with his kids. Eriko dropped them off Friday night. She would be back for Yumi on Sunday night though as Yumi had a doctor's appointment Monday morning. </p><p>Aizawa offered to keep the baby with him during this time, as he knew that taking Yumi to the doctor would be difficult enough on it's own. It would make it easier on Eriko if she didn't also have to take the baby along with her. She would come pick him up after Yumi's appointment. </p><p>Matsuda was more than willing to let Aizawa's kids stay over as well. During their weekend there, Aizawa was reminded, once more, of just how great Matsuda was with kids. And Yumi, as always, loved spending time with him. </p><p>When Eriko dropped them off, the first thing Yumi wanted to do was to play hide and seek with Matsuda. This gave Aizawa time to get the baby settled in. </p><p>Aizawa could hear Matsuda and Yumi taking turns looking for each other. At one point, Matsuda came through the living room as Aizawa was looking for the baby's diaper bag. He asked Matsuda if he had seen it. </p><p>"Yeah. Eriko handed it to me and I put it in the other room by his crib. </p><p>"I couldn't find it. Could you bring it here, please?" </p><p>Matsuda gave Aizawa an almost incredulous look. "Aizawa, it's my turn to hide." </p><p><i>It's like having</i> three <i>kids here,</i> Aizawa thought. </p><p>Regardless of how much fun Yumi had playing games with Matsuda, Aizawa noticed that Matsuda did what he could to let Aizawa have as much time with his kids as possible. Something for which Aizawa was immensely grateful. </p><p>Aizawa loved his children and he cherished any amount of time with them. Eating meals with them, playing with them, and tucking them in at night-each moment was special to him. </p><p>As far as the latter was concerned, they had set the crib up in Matsuda's spare room. The futon was still in there, too, and Aizawa gave that to Yumi, choosing instead to sleep on Matsuda's couch. </p><p>After saying goodnight to Yumi and the baby, Aizawa had to stop and compose himself. He missed being able to do that every night. </p><p>He approached Matsuda, who was setting up the couch for Aizawa. "Hey, Matsu. I just want to thank you for--well, for everything.” </p><p>“I really don’t mind, Aizawa,” Matsuda replied. </p><p>“Still, it means a lot to me.” </p><p>“I’m just glad I could help you out,” Matsuda said. He indicated the couch and said, “If you need more blankets, an extra pillow, or something, just let me know.” </p><p>“Thanks, but what you already have out here is fine.”  </p><p>“Alright then. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.” </p><p>“Goodnight, Matsuda.” </p><p>As he laid down to go to sleep, Aizawa realized just how fortunate he was to have a friend like Matsuda. Aizawa showing up on his doorstep unexpectedly had to be an inconvenience for Matsuda. Yet he did not hesitate when he told Aizawa that he could stay there. He did not miss a beat when Aizawa wanted his kids to come over. And he did not once complain about any of it. Matsuda kept saying that he didn’t mind and this appeared to be the truth. </p><p>And Aizawa could not be more grateful. </p><p>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Matsuda lay awake in bed for awhile, thinking about Aizawa’s situation. Matsuda knew there still was not anything he could do about it, but he did feel sorry for Aizawa, and as his friend, Matsuda wished he could do more for him. </p><p>He really did enjoy Aizawa’s company and was glad he could be there for Aizawa at times like this. Matsuda hated the idea of Aizawa being alone while he went through all of this. But merely being there for Aizawa was all Matsuda could do for now. And he was more than happy to do it. </p><p>When he woke up the next morning, Matsuda quietly made his way into the kitchen. </p><p>Aizawa was still asleep, so Matsuda tried to make as little noise as possible as he started up a fresh pot of coffee. Aizawa appeared to think that him staying there was a burden on Matsuda. Or that it was troublesome for Matsuda to have the kids stay over. </p><p>When Matsuda told Aizawa that he did not mind, he meant it. Aizawa was his friend. In fact, Matsuda considered Aizawa to be his best friend. That part of Matsuda that wanted to be more than friends with Aizawa had only grown stronger since Aizawa was staying with him, but Matsuda would not dare to act on it.</p><p>What Aizawa needed right now was a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. So of course Matsuda was more than willing to help him out. Plus, having company was a welcome change compared to Matsuda being alone at home like usual. </p><p>He was trying to decide what to make for breakfast, when he remembered how much Yumi loved waffles. </p><p>Aizawa woke up about ten minutes later. He slowly sat up and looked over toward the kitchen. “Morning, Matsu.” </p><p>“Good morning,” Matsuda replied. “Sleep well?” </p><p>“Yeah, I did. What time is it?” </p><p>“Almost eight-thirty.” </p><p>“I better wake Yumi and feed the baby.” Aizawa stood up and headed for the spare bedroom. </p><p>Matsuda was nearly done by the time Yumi came into the kitchen. “Good morning, Yumi.” </p><p>“Good morning!” Yumi replied cheerfully as she took a seat at the counter. “I’m hungry.” </p><p>“I’m making waffles for breakfast. They’re almost done.” Matsuda told her. </p><p>When the waffles were ready, Matsuda put a couple of them on a plate, buttered them and gave them to Yumi. </p><p>“Thank you, Uncle Matsu.” </p><p>“No problem. Would you like some milk or juice?” </p><p>“Milk, please.” </p><p>Matsuda poured her a glass of milk, then went over to get himself some coffee. Aizawa came back in just then. Matsuda poured a second cup of coffee and gave it to Aizawa as he took a seat beside Yumi. </p><p>“The waffles are really good, Uncle Matsu,” Yumi said. </p><p>"I'm glad you like them. And there's more if you want any." Matsuda sat down across from her and Aizawa with his own plate.  He turned to Aizawa. “How’s the baby?”  </p><p>“He was hungry, but he's sleeping peacefully now.” Aizawa glanced over at Yumi, then Matsuda, who were both eating. “Where’s mine?” </p><p>Matsuda looked up. “What? Am I supposed to serve you?” </p><p>“You served Yumi.” </p><p>“She’s a child,” Matsuda replied. He smiled and added, “I figured a grown man could get his own waffles.” </p><p>The rest of the day seemed to fly by. And as much as he loved spending time with Yumi, Matsuda did what he could to let Aizawa have his own time with her. He knew how much Aizawa loved his kids and how much it hurt him to not be able to spend everyday with them anymore. </p><p>All too soon, Sunday night had arrived and Eriko stopped by to pick up Yumi. Yumi hugged Matsuda, then she hugged Aizawa, who seemed reluctant to let her go. </p><p>Matsuda noticed the slight trace of tears in Aizawa's eyes. "Are you alright?" </p><p>"I-I will be. But tomorrow my son will be leaving too." Aizawa paused and smiled at Matsuda. "Then I'll just be stuck here alone with you again." </p><p>"You know you love me," Matsuda said lightly. </p><p>"I don't know what the hell ever gave you that idea," Aizawa answered dryly. </p><p>A few hours later, Aizawa and Matsuda also decided to turn in for the night. They said goodnight to each other and as Matsuda headed for his room, Aizawa turned off the lamp beside the couch and placed the baby monitor on the coffee table. He soon drifted off into a peaceful sleep. </p><p>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Around two o’ clock in the morning, Aizawa heard the baby crying through the baby monitor. He was just about to get up to check on him, when he heard Matsuda’s voice over the monitor.</p><p>“Hey there,” Matsuda said softly. “I know you were probably calling for your dad, but he’s going through a lot right now. I think we should let him rest, don’t you? You’ll settle for Uncle Matsu, right?” There was a pause before he lightly added, “Unless you need to be changed. Then I’ll go wake up your father right now.” </p><p>The baby's crying had quieted down some. Aizawa continued to listen. </p><p>“You just wanted some company, it seems like,” Matsuda said. “Not a problem. I’ll sit here and hold you until you’re ready to go back to sleep. If you don’t mind, I’d like to tell you about your dad in the meantime.” </p><p><i>Tell him about me?</i> Aizawa thought. <i>What does he mean by that?</i> </p><p>“I know you’re too young to see this right now, but you and your sister are very lucky to have Aizawa as your father,” Matsuda said. “He’s a great person and an even greater friend. In fact, he’s my best friend. But he’s an incredible dad. He’s the kind of father that I hope I can be one day.” </p><p>Aizawa could not help it. He was so touched by Matsuda’s words, that he was getting a little misty-eyed. He was also surprised to hear Matsuda call Aizawa his best friend. </p><p>“You know, he really doesn’t deserve to be going through everything that he’s going through right now,” Matsuda continued. “I wish there was something I could do to help him. I could see how much your father loves you and your sister though. And I know that having you kids here for the weekend has really lifted his spirits. Don’t worry about what will happen after you leave though. I’ll be here for him. That’s the best we can do for now, right? Right?” </p><p>There was a slight pause and Matsuda quietly continued, “You fell asleep while I was talking to you. Is it because I was talking about your father? I guess he’s not the most interesting topic of conversation. Well, I won’t tell him if you won’t.” </p><p>Aizawa smiled at Matsuda’s last statement, but there were a few tears streaming down his face, nonetheless. To hear Matsuda speak so highly of Aizawa. And he didn’t seem to remember that Aizawa could hear him, so he was saying what he really felt. He also had no idea that Matsuda was so good with babies. </p><p>Sure he loved kids and did great with Yumi, but Aizawa knew that Matsuda had very little experience with infants. He somehow got the baby to stop crying a lot quicker than Aizawa ever could. How the hell did he do that? </p><p>By now, Matsuda must have put the baby back into his crib, because he heard Matsuda speaking to him again. “Goodnight, sleep tight. But if it sounds like you need anything, I’ll be here in a second.” </p><p>He could hear Matsuda leave the room through the monitor, then actually heard him as he headed back to his own room. Aizawa laid back down on the couch; his mind racing with everything he had just heard. </p><p>Matsuda had probably not intended for Aizawa to hear any of that, but Aizawa wanted him to know that he did hear it. And appreciated it. In the morning, he would tell Matsuda that he heard everything. And just how much it meant to him. </p><p>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Aizawa woke up before Matsuda did the next morning. He got up and checked on the baby, taking care not to wake him. </p><p>Matsuda emerged from this bedroom, just as Aizawa left the spare room. They quietly exchanged “good mornings” to each other in the hallway as they both headed for the living room. </p><p>As Matsuda prepared a fresh pot of coffee, Aizawa said to him, “I want you to know that I heard you last night.” </p><p>Matsuda looked confused. “You heard me? Was I talking in my sleep?” </p><p>“No. I mean that I heard you talking to the baby last night.” </p><p>Matsuda seemed surprised now. “You heard...how?” </p><p>In response, Aizawa held up the baby monitor. </p><p>“Of course, the baby monitor. I didn’t even think about that.” Matsuda paused and added, “Then you heard everything that I said last night?” </p><p>“Every word of it,” Aizawa told him. “And I have to tell you Matsu, I was really touched by what you said about me. That they’re lucky to have me as their father. That I’m the kind of father you hope to be someday. It meant a lot. All of it.” </p><p>Matsuda looked kind of embarrassed that Aizawa had heard him. “Yeah, well. I meant it, you know.” </p><p>“I also had no idea you were so good with babies,” Aizawa said. “He seemed to quiet down almost immediately with you, too. And you got him to go back to sleep so quickly. How did you do that?”</p><p>“You were listening,” Matsuda said. He smiled and added, “I was talking about you, remember? That’s enough to knock out anyone.” </p><p>“I can’t have one serious moment with you, can I?”</p><p>“I’m going to say no,” Matsuda replied. “So, what do you want for breakfast?” </p><p>There had been a few times when they ate out somewhere for breakfast or dinner, but everytime they ate at Matsuda’s place, he always cooked. Aizawa never expected him to, or asked him to, Matsuda just did it. He seemed to enjoy cooking and he was actually pretty good at it. Still, Aizawa felt bad about Matsuda doing all of the cooking everyday. </p><p>He stood up and headed for the kitchen. “Why don’t you let me cook for once?” </p><p>Matsuda shot him a skeptical look. “Do you know <i>how</i> to cook?” </p><p>“Of course I do,” Aizawa told him. “And I feel guilty that you’re always cooking for both of us. Let me handle breakfast this morning.” </p><p>“Aizawa, I really don’t mind,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“I know, but I’m cooking breakfast this morning.” </p><p>“Should I be afraid to eat it?” </p><p>“Just shut up and let me do this,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Matsuda said. He left the kitchen and let Aizawa get to work. </p><p>As he cooked, Aizawa thought about what he had heard Matsuda talking about the previous night. He had heard a different side of Matsuda then; a quiet, sincere, even fatherly side, that Aizawa did not know Matsuda possessed. Matsuda always projected a boisterous, carefree, even goofy kind of personality, and that’s who he was, too. Aizawa always knew there was more to Matsuda than that, he had just never really witnessed it. </p><p>Aizawa may have been a bit surprised when Matsuda called Aizawa his best friend, but he really should not have been surprised at all. Aizawa realized that he felt the same way. He had chosen to come to Matsuda’s first after all. He did not even think of any of the others when Eriko kicked him out. Aizawa instantly came to Matsuda. And he was glad he did. Matsuda was so understanding about everything. Not to mention that he was generous enough to let Aizawa stay with him. And have his kids over, too. </p><p>Aizawa appreciated everything that Matsuda was doing for him, but he suddenly felt that he probably had not <i>told</i> Matsuda just how appreciative he was. And while he had always had a lot of respect for Matsuda, after last night, that respect had grown considerably. Aizawa could not explain it. It was like he was seeing Matsuda in a different way. No, he was seeing a different side to Matsuda. That made more sense. </p><p>He finished cooking and set down one plate in front of Matsuda. “I told you I could cook.” </p><p>“We’ll see about that,” Matsuda said. He took a bite and then said, “That’s actually really good.” </p><p>“You don’t have to sound so surprised, Matsu.” </p><p>“Still, I think I’ll wait thirty minutes and see if I pass out first.” </p><p>“Just go ahead and eat already,” Aizawa said. He  poured two cups of coffee, giving one to Matsuda. </p><p>As Aizawa sat down across from him, Matsuda said, “I’m sorry I doubted you, Aizawa. You’re actually a very talented cook.” </p><p>“Matsu, I’m not sure that I’ve told you just how much I appreciate everything you’re doing for me,” Aizawa said. “Taking me in and letting me stay with you, letting my kids stay over, listening to me complain about my problems...just everything.” </p><p>“It really isn’t a big deal, Aizawa,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“It is to me,” Aizawa told him. “Not everyone would do all you’ve done for me. Thank you. I would have done the same for you.” </p><p>“I know you would,” Matsuda said. “Listen Aizawa, you’re my best friend and you needed me. I was happy to help.”  </p><p>“It means a lot to me. You didn’t have to do any of it.” </p><p>“No, but I <i>wanted</i> to.” Matsuda paused before adding, “Now are you done being all sentimental and weird?” </p><p>“Lucky for you, it’s time for me to feed the baby,” Aizawa said. </p><p>As he took the baby out of the crib and sat down to feed him, Aizawa thought back to everything Matsuda had said about him the previous night. And then to their conversation this morning. Maybe Aizawa was being uncharacteristically sentimental. But he found that he was appreciative of Matsuda. Not just all that Matsuda had done for him, but Matsuda as a person. </p><p>He felt fortunate to have someone like Matsuda in his life. He had always appreciated and respected Matsuda, but Aizawa felt new, yet inexplicable feelings of admiration, and almost affection, toward Matsuda over the past couple of days, and especially since last night. </p><p>Aizawa didn’t quite understand what these new feelings toward Matsuda were, but he did realize that he couldn’t simply ignore them either. And whenever he tried to, his feelings only grew stronger.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Aizawa's Decision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Scared of the way he feels for Matsuda, Aizawa makes a decision that he hopes will make these feelings go away. Instead, he ends up hurting Matsuda and pushing their friendship to the brink.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was one week later and the entire investigative team had just moved into the new Kira Investigation Headquarters. The rooms here were actually like full apartments. Each had its own fully-equipped kitchen and a sitting area. The bedrooms were all rather large, too. Aizawa's room was right next to Matsuda's, much to Aizawa's delight. He actually missed living with Matsuda, but it did help to have him right next door. </p><p>When Aizawa came downstairs the next morning, he saw L crouched on a chair in front of the monitors. Light and Mogi were each on a computer, the Chief and Ide were looking over a case file. </p><p>Aizawa began searching for Matsuda, but did not see the younger detective anywhere. That was when he realized what he was doing. Then he wondered <i>why</i> he was doing it. Why was he looking for Matsuda? Why did the mere thought of seeing him excite Aizawa? </p><p>He had been feeling like this in regards to Matsuda for over one week now, starting during the last few days that Aizawa was staying with Matsuda. And Aizawa simply could not understand why. He looked forward to seeing Matsuda everyday, missed him when he was not there, and was eager to do any part of the investigation with him. </p><p>Matsuda was constantly on his mind, too. A fact that Aizawa thought he would be annoyed by, but as it turned out, he didn’t mind thinking about Matsuda all the time. Just another thing that he could not comprehend. Aizawa tried to rationalize these feelings, but usually found that he could not. He couldn’t be having feelings for Matsuda. Could he? No, absolutely not. That did not make any sense at all. </p><p>Aizawa had not realized that he stopped on the bottom stair, until he felt someone place their hands on his shoulders. This was followed by Matsuda’s voice close behind him. </p><p>“You know, Aizawa,” he said lightly, “some people might want to use the stairs.” </p><p>Aizawa had to suppress the inexplicable excitement he felt at Matsuda’s touch. He covered it up by acting the way the others would have expected him to react. </p><p>“Damn it, Matsuda!” he exclaimed. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.” </p><p>“Then don’t block the stairway,” Matsuda replied. “Are you going to move now, or should I try to jump over you? I could probably do it if your hair wasn’t so tall.” </p><p>Aizawa grumbled under his breath and headed for the couch, still attempting to understand why he felt what he did when Matsuda touched him. At the same time, he was trying to recover from it as well. The table in front of the couch held some files from the investigation. Aizawa picked up one of them, trying his hardest to concentrate on it. </p><p>A few minutes later, he heard the Chief mention his name. Aizawa looked up and saw the Chief handing some files to Matsuda; probably information that he wanted Aizawa and Matsuda to look into. Aizawa could not help it. He was looking forward to working alone with Matsuda.</p><p>He also realized that his gaze had shifted to the younger officer. As if Aizawa could not take his eyes off of Matsuda. He managed to look away before Matsuda caught him staring. Aizawa turned back to the file in his hand. </p><p><i>Get a hold of yourself,</i> he thought. <i>It’s just Matsuda. What’s wrong with you?</i></p><p>A moment later, Matsuda joined Aizawa, taking a seat beside him on the couch. Aizawa could not help but notice how close Matsuda was sitting to him. Yet, he knew it was unintentional on Matsuda’s part. It was necessary in order for both of them to look at the new reports together. </p><p>Still, it was all Aizawa could do to not move closer to Matsuda. He had the sudden urge to wrap his arms around the younger man, hold him close, and…</p><p><i>And what?</i> Aizawa thought, forcing himself to return to reality. For a brief moment there, however, the thought of kissing Matsuda had crossed his mind. </p><p>“Should we go ahead and do it?” Matsuda asked him. </p><p>“What!?” Aizawa asked, still caught up in what was going on inside his head. </p><p>“Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said?” Matsuda asked him. He held up a small stack of papers and said, “There’s a lot of witnesses that we need to talk to. I was thinking we should probably go ahead and get started interviewing them.” </p><p>“Oh, right,” Aizawa said, relieved. “Witnesses. Yeah, let’s do that.” </p><p>At least talking to the witnesses gave Aizawa something else to focus on. Even though he was working with Matsuda on this. </p><p>Distractions while interviewing witnesses was never good for a couple of reasons. The most obvious reason being that they had to be alert enough to ask relevant questions and receive the answers that they needed. The second reason was because extra vigilance was required when talking to witnesses. </p><p>There had been numerous reports of Kira supporters calling in and pretending to be witnesses as a way of bringing police officers to them so that they could murder those officers. Kira supporters viewed the police as an enemy because the police were trying to capture their beloved “savior”. </p><p>Fortunately, none of the witnesses that Aizawa and Matsuda spoke to matched the latter. In fact, they were all very cooperative, which was extremely helpful. It also meant that they went through their rather extensive list of witnesses rather quickly as well.<br/>
By the time they were done it was lunch time. They stopped at a nearby cafe to get something to eat. Now, with Matsuda sitting across from him, Aizawa’s thoughts and feelings from earlier crept back in. Aizawa even found himself a little nervous, which meant that he didn’t have much of an appetite. He made sure that he ate, though. He did not want Matsuda questioning him about why he wasn’t eating. How would Aizawa answer that? The last thing he needed was for Matsuda to know what he had been feeling lately. </p><p>For Aizawa, the rest of the day carried on the same way. Occasionally, there would be something for the investigation that required a lot of attention. During these times, Aizawa could put his unsettling feelings about Matsuda aside. But anytime work slowed down, Matsuda found his way back into Aizawa’s mind. </p><p>That night, as he lay in bed, Aizawa tried yet again, to rationalize what he felt for Matsuda. </p><p><i>It doesn’t mean anything. It’s only because I see him everyday.</i> Aizawa immediately realized that probably wasn’t it, because he also saw the other guys everyday, and he certainly did not feel this way about any of the others. </p><p><i>Matsuda is the one that I work with the most,</i> he thought. <i>Nearly every aspect of the investigation that I work on, I work on with Matsuda.</i> </p><p>That had to be it. Aizawa was just spending too much time with the younger detective. All he had to do was put some distance between them. Aizawa hated the idea of pushing Matsuda away, because he actually greatly enjoyed their time working together. And he was worried about how Matsuda would react to this. But his feelings for Matsuda frightened him. Terrified him, actually. </p><p>In the morning he would talk to the Chief and request that he investigate with Ide or Mogi from now on. That should do it. Of course, he would still see Matsuda on a daily basis, but he would not be spending every minute of the day with him. And Aizawa was certain that this was the reason behind his recent obsession with Matsuda. </p><p>A break from him was all that was needed. </p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>The first thing Aizawa did the following morning was speak to the Chief. Only the Chief and L were awake yet, when Aizawa got down there. This made it easier for Aizawa, yet it was difficult for him to explain why he wanted this change, without revealing the truth. He made sure to tell the Chief that it was not anything that Matsuda had done. The Chief agreed to Aizawa’s request though, and he offered to be the one to tell Matsuda, as he would have to tell Matsuda about this change as it was. </p><p>Matsuda made his way down about ten minutes later. Aizawa saw the Chief immediately approach him. Aizawa looked away and back to the report he had been reading. A few minutes later, he heard Matsuda’s voice. </p><p>“Aizawa, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. </p><p>Aizawa looked up at him. “Of course.” </p><p>“The Chief just told me that you asked him if you could work with Ide or Mogi from now on.” </p><p>Aizawa hesitated, bracing himself for Matsuda’s reaction. “I did.” </p><p>“Care to explain why?” </p><p>“I have my reasons, Matsuda.” </p><p>“Well, I would love to hear them,” Matsuda said. “Was it me? Did I do something to make you mad at me? Did I offend you somehow?” </p><p>“No, nothing like that,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“Then what the hell?” Matsuda said it so loudly that both L and the Chief looked over. Ide was on his way down and froze in the middle of the stairway, also looking in their direction. </p><p>“Listen...I just...I can’t work with you right now.” . </p><p>“Yeah, I got that. What I don’t get is why,” Matsuda said. “If you’re not mad at me, then what? Do I annoy you that much? Are you just tired of me? You woke up this morning and suddenly decided that you hate me?” </p><p>“I certainly don’t hate you,” Aizawa said. Then he thought, <i>The problem is that I like you too much.</i> </p><p>Matsuda looked so hurt and confused, that it was giving Aizawa second thoughts about his decision. It pained him to do this to Matsuda and to see him like this as a result. But he could not tell him his true reasons for the change. And even if he wanted to, he couldn’t do it with an audience watching them. </p><p>“Matsuda look, I swear, this has nothing to do with you personally,” Aizawa said. “This is on me, okay? I needed the change for my own...personal reasons.” </p><p>Matsuda glared at him for a few seconds. Then he abruptly said, “Fine. Don’t tell me.” He turned to the papers in his hands, took half of them, and practically threw them at Aizawa. “Here.” </p><p>Aizawa took them. “What’s this?” </p><p>“The second set of witnesses that need to be interviewed,” Matsuda said. There was a bitter tone to his voice that Aizawa had never heard before. “We were supposed to do them together, but since you apparently want me out of your life, you can talk to your half with Ide. Mogi and I will talk to the other half. Come on, Mogi. Let’s go.” </p><p>With a final glare at Aizawa, Matsuda stormed out of the headquarters. Mogi hesitated, looking confused, but then quickly followed Matsuda. </p><p>Aizawa put his head in his hands, feeling terrible. Hurting Matsuda was the last thing he wanted to do. Aizawa could not explain nor understand his recent feelings for Matsuda, but seeing the pain and anger on the younger officer’s face, had almost been too much to bear. </p><p>Still, even while Matsuda was yelling at him, Aizawa could still feel those same emotions toward Matsuda stirring inside him. </p><p><i>It had to be done,</i> Aizawa told himself. <i>Whatever it is that I feel for Matsuda, it won’t go away if I’m spending every minute with him.</i> </p><p>He thought that would make him feel better about what he did. He was not spending every minute with Matsuda anymore, but the hard part about this was that Aizawa really enjoyed spending all that time with Matsuda. He always looked forward to time alone with him. Aizawa realized that he had probably put an end, not just to their professional relationship, but their friendship, too. It hurt Aizawa deeply. What had he done? He told himself it was necessary, but that did not help any. </p><p>Ide joined him, taking a seat beside him on the couch. “So...what the hell was that about?” </p><p>“I can’t explain it,” Aizawa said. “I really enjoy working with Matsuda. He’s a great person; a great friend. We always work well together, too. I didn’t really want to do what I did.” </p><p>“Then why did you?” Ide asked him. “Matsuda looked devastated.” </p><p>Once again, Aizawa saw Matsuda’s pained expression in his head. “Don’t remind me.” </p><p>“Alright, now I don’t know why you don’t want to work with Matsuda anymore,” Ide said. “And you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But it sounds to me like you didn’t think this through. Or like you want to go back to working with Matsuda. Even if that’s not the case, he at least deserves a reason and an apology.” </p><p>Aizawa agreed. He already knew an apology was in order. And Matsuda did deserve a reason, if only Aizawa had one to offer him. </p><p>He and Ide went out and did their half of the investigation. Aizawa liked working with Ide, but it just was not the same. He missed Matsuda while they were out questioning the witnesses. Matsuda seemed to be more of a distraction in his absence, than he was when he was present. </p><p>When they returned to headquarters, Matsuda and Mogi were already back. Ide indicated Matsuda and gave Aizawa a significant look. </p><p>“I know, I know,” Aizawa said.</p><p>Matsuda had been talking to Mogi, but when he saw Aizawa approaching, he turned away and began sorting through some nearby files. </p><p>“Hey, Matsu? Can I talk to you?” </p><p>Matsuda did not so much as even acknowledge Aizawa. </p><p>“Come on, Matsuda. Don’t do this, please. I really do want to talk to you.” </p><p>“I have nothing to say to you, and I don’t want to hear anything you have to say to me,” Matsuda said, without turning around or looking at Aizawa. </p><p>“Matsuda, I’m so sorry—” </p><p>“I’m not interested in your apology either,” Matsuda interrupted. “Nothing you can say is going to make me forgive you that easily.” </p><p>Matsuda turned away from him again; Aizawa followed him. </p><p>Matsuda gave him an irritated look. “I’m trying to ignore you, Aizawa. And you’re making it very difficult.” </p><p>“I never meant to hurt your feelings,” Aizawa told him. </p><p>“What did you think would happen?” Matsuda asked. “You didn’t think it would hurt me to have my best friend suddenly avoiding me? And especially without any reason for it?” </p><p>“So...I’m still your best friend?” Aizawa asked, hopefully. </p><p>“You were,” Matsuda said. “You put an end to that this morning.” </p><p>This hurt Aizawa on more than one level. “Come on, Matsu. We can still be friends, right?” </p><p>“It’s Matsuda. And I can’t be friends with someone who treats me like that.” He turned away from Aizawa again. Once more, Aizawa followed him. Matsuda finally faced Aizawa, but with an angry glare in his eyes. “Leave me alone, Aizawa!” </p><p>“Tell me what I can do to fix this.” </p><p>Matsuda sighed. “Why don’t you want to work with me anymore? I just want an honest answer.” </p><p>“I...I can’t tell you.” </p><p>“Wrong answer, Aizawa. I have work to do, so like I said, just leave me alone!” </p><p>For the remainder of the day, Aizawa attempted to talk to Matsuda, resulting in Matsuda either shouting at him or ignoring him completely. Aizawa could not decide which was worse. Matsuda seemed to absolutely hate him. And all Aizawa could do was blame himself for it. </p><p>And this barrier between them only made Aizawa’s feelings for Matsuda grow stronger, making it even harder on Aizawa to have Matsuda so angry with him. He had to remedy this. If he only knew exactly what to do. </p><p>He had become determined to make amends with Matsuda before bed that night. Yet, Matsuda turned in earlier than usual, after saying goodnight to everyone except Aizawa. Aizawa had to try one last time. </p><p>He hurried up the stairs and knocked on Matsuda’s door. Matsuda opened it, but when he saw it was Aizawa, started to close it again. </p><p>Aizawa placed his hand on the door, stopping him. “Just let me talk to you.” </p><p>“Unless you’re going to tell me what it is that you have against me, I’m not interested.” </p><p>“Matsuda, I don’t have anything against you,” Aizawa told him. </p><p>“You must have,” Matsuda said. “Because your specific request was that you don’t have to work with <i>me</i>. It wasn’t that you wanted to work on a different case, or investigate something else. No, it was that you didn’t want to work with <i>me</i> anymore. You really hurt me, Aizawa. I would never have done that to you.” </p><p>Aizawa’s heart nearly shattered when Matsuda said that last part. “Matsuda-” </p><p>“You were my best friend, Aizawa,” Matsuda said. Hearing him say, ‘you <i>were</i> my best friend’ felt like a knife going through Aizawa’s chest. “I took you in when your wife kicked you out. Not only did I let you stay with me, I really enjoyed having you there. When we all moved in here, I actually missed living with you. I guess it’s a good thing we moved here when we did, though. It happened just as you got tired of me. If you want nothing to do with me anymore, then that’s fine by me. I don't want to have anything to do with you either."</p><p>“I’m not tired of you,” Aizawa said. “And I still consider you my best friend, too.” </p><p>“I wish I could say the same,” Matsuda said. “Especially given the way I feel about you.” </p><p>Aizawa’s heart skipped a beat. What did he mean by that? </p><p>Matsuda had said something more, but Aizawa didn’t hear it and actually ended up interrupting Matsuda. </p><p>“-The way you feel about me?”  </p><p>Matsuda looked confused, yet also indignant at being interrupted. “What?” </p><p>“You said, given the way you feel about me. What did you mean?” </p><p>Aizawa could tell that Matsuda just only realized what he had said. And it seemed like Matsuda had not <i>meant</i> to say it. </p><p>“Oh, I-I was talking about the way I feel about you not wanting to work with me anymore,” Matsuda said. </p><p>Somehow, Aizawa felt this wasn’t really what Matsuda actually meant, but he was not about to push Matsuda any farther. </p><p>“Now if we’re done here, I would like to get to bed,” Matsuda said. </p><p>Before Aizawa could respond, Matsuda slammed the door in his face, and then locked it. </p><p>Aizawa knew it was pointless to try anymore tonight. So instead, he went into his room next door. He walked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out what he could do to get Matsuda to forgive him. </p><p>That was when he heard something next door and stopped to listen. Though the sound was muffled due to the wall, Matsuda’s stifled sobs could be heard distinctly. </p><p>It was nearly enough to make Aizawa break down. The scope of just how much he had hurt Matsuda was painfully clear. What Aizawa would not have given to be able to comfort Matsuda, to run to him and console him. To just hold him tight until his tears subsided. </p><p><i>Except that you’re the reason for his tears in the first place.</i> Aizawa thought. <i>What the hell have I done? And what should I do now?</i> </p><p>A few minutes later, all was quiet on Matsuda’s side. Aizawa knew that he probably cried himself to sleep and all that did was make Aizawa feel even more guilty. </p><p>He could not stand this distance between him and Matsuda any longer. The distance Aizawa himself had created. Aizawa knew that it was probably hard on Matsuda, too. Maybe even more so because Matsuda had no idea why Aizawa had done this in the first place. </p><p>Aizawa decided to go to bed, but he simply could not fall asleep. All he could think about was Matsuda. He felt guilty for hurting him. Aizawa missed him, too. It just was not the same working on this case without Matsuda. </p><p>That was when he realized it. Aizawa knew what had to be done. It was the only way Matsuda would forgive him. At the same time, however, telling him the truth also ran the risk of scaring Matsuda away for good. Still, if it offered the possibility that Matsuda would forgive him, it was worth a try.<br/>
</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Aizawa awoke the following morning after getting hardly any sleep at all the previous night. As he showered and got dressed for the day, he began to feel more and more nervous. He would have to tell Matsuda the truth about why he refused to work with him anymore. And he had no idea how Matsuda would take that information. </p><p>Aizawa did not know who might be downstairs already, but he was sure that he wouldn’t be alone down there with Matsuda. And he was not about to announce his feelings for the younger officer in front of the others. </p><p>Chances were that Matsuda was not up yet. Aizawa himself was up earlier than usual, and Matsuda was generally one of the last of them to wake up in the morning. He was sure that Matsuda was still in his room, but Aizawa was just as sure that if he knocked on his door, Matsuda would not open it, not if he knew it was Aizawa anyway.</p><p>He could wait outside his own room until Matsuda came out. His room was right next to Aizawa’s room after all. But ambushing Matsuda didn’t seem like a very wise course of action either. All Aizawa could do was wait for Matsuda downstairs and hope that he could somehow convince him to talk privately with him somewhere away from the others.</p><p>When he got downstairs, L and Ide were already awake. </p><p>“Good morning,” he greeted them as he looked around for the one person that he really needed to talk to. “Matsu up yet?” </p><p>“Not yet,” Ide said. “What’s the plan for today, Aizawa? You going to corner him somewhere until he finally speaks to you?” </p><p>“Funny, Ide,” Aizawa said. “I do need to talk to him in private though. I don’t know how I’m going to do that.” </p><p>It was another fifteen minutes before Matsuda came downstairs, by which time, everyone else had joined them as well. Aizawa decided to try a direct approach first. </p><p>“Matsuda,” he called out. </p><p>Matsuda looked over, spotted Aizawa, then quickly turned away, and began talking to L. </p><p>Aizawa approached them and said, “Matsuda, I really need to talk to you.” </p><p>Matsuda continued his discussion with L, refusing to even acknowledge Aizawa’s presence. He decided on a different approach. </p><p>“It’s about the investigation,” he said. The way Aizawa saw it, if Matsuda thought it was work-related, Matsuda would at least listen to him, because it was potentially something important. </p><p>“I thought we weren’t working on the investigation together,” Matsuda said. At first, Aizawa thought that Matsuda was finally talking to him, but he realized this was directed toward L. “Isn’t that what he wanted?” </p><p>“Matsuda, please,” Aizawa said. “I need to talk to you privately. It’s important.” </p><p>“If it pertains to the Kira case, then it’s best if you hear what Aizawa has to say, Matsuda,” L said. </p><p>“Alright. But why in private?” Matsuda said. “If it’s about the case he can just tell me right here.” </p><p>Aizawa could not bear this. Matsuda was talking about him as if Aizawa was not standing right there beside him. </p><p>“Why don’t you go talk to him and find out?” L said. </p><p>“Fine,” Matsuda said. Then without so much as a glance at Aizawa, Matsuda turned and began to head upstairs. </p><p>Aizawa took this to mean that Matsuda was at least willing to hear what he had to say and he started to follow him. </p><p>Then he thought of something and turned to L. “Ryuzaki, I think I should tell you—” </p><p>“That it was all a ruse to get Matsuda to speak to you? I know. Now go before he changes his mind.” </p><p>Aizawa arrived at the top of the stairs to find Matsuda waiting for him. Of course, the second Aizawa reached him, Matsuda swiftly turned and began heading to his room. Aizawa followed him. </p><p>When they got to his room, Matsuda opened the door and walked in, allowing the door to swing back and nearly hit Aizawa right in the face. Aizawa closed the door behind him and turned to Matsuda as the latter took out his cell phone and did not even look in Aizawa’s direction. </p><p>“First off,” Aizawa began, “I should tell you that this really has nothing to do with the investigation.”</p><p>Matsuda walked over and opened the door. “Then get out.” </p><p>Aizawa closed it once more. “No. I need you to listen to me.” </p><p>Matsuda turned back to his phone and did not say anything. </p><p>“You want to know why I didn’t want to work with you anymore, right?” Aizawa began. Matsuda said nothing, so Aizawa continued. “I have a feeling that if I tell you the truth, you might forgive me. Or you might hate me even more, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Because I can’t take <i>this</i> anymore. I can’t stand you not talking to me.” </p><p>Matsuda just continued to look at his phone. </p><p>“You are listening to me though, right?” Aizawa said. “Because I want to make sure you hear this.” </p><p>Matsuda said nothing and stayed focused on the phone in his hand. </p><p>“At least look at me,” Aizawa said. </p><p>In response, Matsuda turned away from him instead. </p><p>“So you are listening to me,” Aizawa said dryly. “Okay then. I am going to tell you the honest truth behind why I said I didn’t want to work with you. But keep in mind that it’s not easy for me to say this.” </p><p>Aizawa took Matsuda’s continued silence as confirmation to go on. </p><p>“Right. Okay. The reason that I asked to work with someone else is because...I...I...have feelings for you.” </p><p>Matsuda actually turned around and looked at him. They merely stared at each other for a few seconds, before Matsuda bursted out laughing. </p><p>While this was more welcome than Matsuda completely ignoring him, Aizawa could not help but feel a little offended.</p><p>“Damn it,” Matsuda said through his laughter. “You made me break the vow I made to myself to never speak to you again.” </p><p>“Why the hell are you laughing?” Aizawa asked. </p><p>“Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad at you,” Matsuda said. “I couldn’t help it though. You know, you really had me going at first. You sounded so serious.” </p><p>“I <i>am</i> serious!” Aizawa exclaimed. </p><p>“Sure you are,” Matsuda said. “As if <i>you</i> would ever feel something for <i>me</i>.” </p><p>“Matsuda, I meant it!” </p><p>“Stop it, Aizawa,” Matsuda said. He may not have believed it, but at least it seemed to lift his spirits, and it made him talk to Aizawa. </p><p>Aizawa was going to try once again to convince Matsuda that he was telling the truth, but Matsuda did not give him the chance. </p><p>“Let me ask you something,” Matsuda said. “I just need to know. Did your decision to not work with me anymore, have anything to do with me personally? I know you said before that it didn’t, but I need to know if that’s true or not. Was it something I did? Or something that you have against me?” </p><p>“Of course not,” Aizawa said. “I have nothing against you and you didn’t do anything wrong. And I'm so sorry that I hurt you so badly.” </p><p>“Okay then,” Matsuda said. “I know you said before that you had personal reasons behind your decision not to work with me. And even though I don’t know why that would have anything to do with me-” </p><p>“Matsuda, I…” </p><p>“Please, let me finish,” Matsuda said. Aizawa nodded and let him continue. “You know you can talk to me about anything, but if you want to keep your true reasons to yourself so badly that you would make up something like falling for me, then maybe it’s best for me to just respect your decision.” </p><p>“So, what are you saying?” Aizawa asked. </p><p>“That I forgive you,” Matsuda said. </p><p>Aizawa had never felt so relieved in all his life. “Thank you, Matsu.” </p><p>Matsuda smiled at him then and Aizawa had to suppress his excitement once more. There was just something about Matsuda’s smile. It was adorable and it was only intensifying Aizawa’s feelings toward the younger man. </p><p>Aizawa could not decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing that Matsuda did not believe him. Perhaps it was best for now, but how much longer would Aizawa be able to keep these feelings to himself? </p><p>“I am very, truly, sorry,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“It’s okay. And I’m sorry, too.” </p><p>“For what? You reacted exactly the way you should have reacted,” Aizawa told him. “I don’t blame you at all for ignoring me the way you did. I’m just glad that’s over with now.” </p><p>“Me too,” Matsuda said. Then somewhat hesitantly, he added, “What do you say that we go back to working together?” </p><p>“Sounds good to me,” Aizawa said. Working with Ide the previous day, Aizawa had noticed how much he had missed working with Matsuda. </p><p>“Good,” Matsuda said. “Mogi is great and all. But it’s not the same as working with my best friend.” </p><p>Aizawa felt relief sweep through him again. Matsuda still considered Aizawa his best friend. “Sorry I almost screwed that up, too.” </p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Matsuda told him. “I don’t know what’s really bothering you, and I won’t try to make you talk about it if you don’t want to. But you know that if you ever want to tell me, you can.” </p><p><i>I just did.</i> Aizawa thought. Out loud, however, he merely thanked Matsuda. </p><p>They headed back downstairs then. As one, the others all turned and looked at them. </p><p>“Oh good. They didn’t kill each other after all,” Ide said. </p><p>“Is everything okay between the two of you?” the Chief asked. </p><p>“Yes, sir,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“That’s right. Back to normal,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“Which means that Matsu’s probably going to go back to constantly annoying me,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“Of course I am,” Matsuda said. “And Aizawa and I are going to keep working together, too.” </p><p>“That’s good to hear, “ the Chief sounded as relieved as Aizawa felt. He was probably afraid that Aizawa and Matsuda would never make amends and that there would be constant arguing, awkwardness, and tension between them. </p><p>For Aizawa, admitting his feelings for Matsuda <i>to</i> Matsuda, had actually been the first time Aizawa admitted it to himself. Regardless as to whether or not Matsuda believed him, saying it out loud like that, not only confirmed his feelings for Matsuda, but seemed to make them even stronger. And now that Aizawa knew exactly what he was feeling for Matsuda, he could no longer deny it. </p><p>Aizawa was more than happy that he and Matsuda had patched things up. He was glad that their friendship was restored and that they were working together again. </p><p>The problem now was that Aizawa had these strong romantic feelings for Matsuda, but he was certain that nothing could come of it. And it drove him absolutely crazy to realize this. It was possible that if Aizawa let any of these feelings show through, Matsuda would merely view it as a joke, just as he thought Aizawa’s admissions of falling for Matsuda were a joke. </p><p>Yet anytime Aizawa was in close proximity to him, all he could think about was grabbing Matsuda and kissing him. He was terribly afraid that he would lose all inhibitions at some time and actually do it. Probably effectively ending their friendship for good then. Aizawa would have to keep his everything hidden and under control. </p><p>But just how long would he be able to manage that?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Accidental Confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aizawa tells Ide how he feels about Matsuda.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This person claimed to know Kira. And these two claimed to <i>be</i> him,” Aizawa explained. </p><p>It was now the following week and he and Ide were comparing notes on some of the witnesses connected to the Kira case. </p><p>“I don’t understand why anyone would want to say they <i>are</i> Kira,” Ide said. “Don’t they know that they would be arrested if we believed them?” </p><p>“I think they do it just to toy with us,” Aizawa said. “Some people don’t realize how serious this case really is.” </p><p>“Guess you’re right,” Ide said. “Still, I don’t see…” </p><p>Ide said more, but at that moment Matsuda walked into the room, and Aizawa did not hear a word that Ide said. Aizawa suddenly felt nervous and excited at the same time, too. And he could not keep his eyes off of Matsuda as the younger man conversed with L and the Chief. Matsuda really was cute. How had Aizawa never noticed that before? </p><p>Aizawa also knew that he had a full day of working with Matsuda on this investigation and he was looking forward to it. </p><p>“Aizawa? Aizawa!” Ide’s voice brought Aizawa back to their discussion. “Were you listening?” </p><p>Aizawa hesitated. “No. Sorry, I...I got distracted. What were you saying?” </p><p>“Just that there’s so many of the witnesses who have been saying the same thing about…” </p><p><i>What would Matsuda do if I kissed him?</i> Aizawa’s thoughts cut in. The mere idea of kissing Matsuda thrilled him. <i>No, it’s best that I don’t think about it.</i> </p><p>Aizawa feared that there would come a time where, unable to hold back anymore, he would simply give in to these urges he felt regarding Matsuda. </p><p>What <i>would</i> Matsuda do? Aizawa was pretty certain that if he were to kiss him, Matsuda would probably pull away from him, punch him, and then never speak to him again. Aizawa did not want that. </p><p>
  <i>Or maybe he wouldn’t do any of that. What if, instead, he kissed me back?</i>
</p><p>Aizawa was revelling in this thought, until Ide interrupted once again. “Aizawa!” </p><p>“Yes. What?” </p><p>Ide sighed. “Alright, what’s going on with you?” </p><p>“Nothing. It’s just-I’ve got a lot on my mind.” </p><p>“You might as well tell me about it,” Ide suggested. “Apparently, you’re thinking more about that than anything else at the moment.” </p><p>Aizawa actually wanted to be able to tell someone, but he would do so discreetly. He glanced over to make sure that Matsuda nor anyone else was not within earshot. </p><p>“Okay,” Aizawa began. “Ide, have you ever had a friend, someone you’ve known for a few years, and then start to realize that you have feelings for them? Only, you’re sure that this friend won’t feel the same way and you don’t want to jeopardize the friendship?” </p><p>Ide smirked at him. “You like someone. Who is she?” </p><p>“She?” Aizawa asked. <i>Right. Ide would probably assume it’s a woman that I like.</i> “She...she’s great.” </p><p>“What’s her name?” </p><p>“Name?” </p><p>“Yeah, you know, the word others call her by.” </p><p>“Name, right,” Aizawa said. “It’s-Kimiko?” </p><p>"Are you telling me or asking me?” Ide said. “What’s her last name?" </p><p>“I don’t know.” </p><p>“I thought she’s a friend of yours that you’ve known for some years now. How do you not know her last name?” </p><p>“It just never came up,” Aizawa said evasively. </p><p>“I see,” Ide said. “What was her first name again?” </p><p><i>Crap. What name did I just give?</i> “Kikyo.”  </p><p>“I thought it was Kimiko.” </p><p>“Kimiko, right. That's what I meant to say.” </p><p>Ide looked at him skeptically, before saying, "Alright, look. I don’t know why you’re making up a woman, but why don’t you just tell me who it really is that you like?” </p><p>“I can’t,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“Why not?” </p><p>“I just can’t.” </p><p>“Aizawa, it’s me. You can tell me anything.” </p><p>“Not this.” </p><p>“You’ve already told me this much,” Ide said. “You might as well tell me the rest.”  </p><p>“It’s complicated.” </p><p>“How?” </p><p>“Damn it, Ide!” </p><p>“Aizawa, I don’t understand.” </p><p>“I don’t want my friend to find out," Aizawa said, getting fed up at Ide's persistance. </p><p>“I’m not going to tell anybody.” </p><p>“No, Ide.” </p><p>“Why not?” </p><p>“Because you know him, too.” Aizawa exclaimed. </p><p>There was a brief pause and then Ide said, “Him?” </p><p>Aizawa had not even realized what he had said until now. </p><p>“It’s a guy you like,” Ide said with realization. “And you said that I know him too. Is it someone on the Task Force?” </p><p>“I better not say anymore about it,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“It <i>is</i> someone on the Task Force.” He paused and added, “It’s not me, is it?” </p><p>“No!” Aizawa said. “Of course not.” </p><p>“You don’t have to be mean about it," Ide said. “So it’s not me and I doubt it’s the Chief. That leaves either Matsuda or Mogi. It’s one of them, isn’t it?” </p><p>Aizawa hesitated. “Yes. Yes it is.” </p><p>“Which one?” </p><p>At that moment, Matsuda began heading their way and they both quieted down. Aizawa subsequently felt like a whole colony of butterflies had taken up residence in his stomach. </p><p>“Here are those reports you were looking for, Ide,” Matsuda said, handing him a couple of folders. </p><p>Ide thanked him as Matsuda turned to Aizawa. “And whenever you’re ready, Aizawa, we can go talk to those new witnesses.” </p><p>“Oh, right. Yeah. Sounds good.” Aizawa was trying to sound as natural as possible, but found it hard to string together more than a couple of words at a time. </p><p>“Great. Just come find me when you’re ready to go.” </p><p>“I will.” </p><p>As Matsuda left, Aizawa took a deep breath trying to compose himself. Something that was not missed by Ide. </p><p>“It’s Matsuda,” he said quietly. Then a lot louder, he said, “You like Matsuda!” </p><p>“Say it a little louder, why don’t you? I don’t think he heard you that time.” </p><p>“Sorry,” Ide said, now whispering. “You like Matsuda. Since when?” </p><p>“A few weeks now.” </p><p>“A few weeks!” Ide exclaimed, causing the others to glance in their direction.</p><p>“Ide, will you shut up?” </p><p>“Sorry. It’s just you’ve felt this way about him for weeks, and I’m just now learning about it?” </p><p>“I know. But nobody else knows yet and I don’t want them to. Especially Matsuda.” </p><p>“You can count on me. I won’t tell anyone,” Ide said. “Is that why you said you didn’t want to work with him last week?” </p><p>“It is,” Aizawa admitted. “I didn’t realize exactly what I was feeling for Matsuda and it scared me. So I thought if I spent less time with him, those feelings would go away. Instead, they only got stronger, and I almost lost Matsuda as a friend.” </p><p>It also didn’t help that Matsuda took what Aizawa said about having feelings for him, as a joke either. Because now, Matsuda tended to tease Aizawa by making his own jokes about it. </p><p>“So when are you going to tell him?” Ide asked.</p><p>“Tell who?” </p><p>“Matsuda!”</p><p>From across the room, Matsuda turned toward Ide. “Yes?” </p><p>“Oh...I was looking for something, but I found it. Never mind.” Ide waited until Matsuda had turned back around again, before quietly asking, “So when are you going to tell him?”  </p><p>“I don’t think I’ll have to,” Aizawa said. “It seems like you’re about to tell him for me.”</p><p>“But you’re going to tell him, right?” </p><p>“Of course not.” </p><p>“You’re not going to tell Matsuda how you feel?” Ide asked. </p><p>“I can’t do that! Right now, he’s my best friend—” </p><p>“That hurts,” Ide cut in. </p><p>Aizawa sighed. “Right now, Matsuda is <i>one</i> of my best friends. If I tell him how I feel, then I probably won’t even have his friendship anymore. Let alone anything more than that. It would be different if I thought Matsu might feel the same way, but there’s no chance of that happening.” </p><p>“You never know,” Ide said. </p><p>The way in which Ide said this, made Aizawa wonder if he knew something that Aizawa did not. “What do you mean?” </p><p>“Just that there’s no way of telling if Matsuda feels the same way or not, unless you take the chance of telling him how you feel first.”  </p><p>“No, I can’t take that risk. I can’t jeopardize our friendship like that. I’d rather we were only friends, than nothing at all. I just have to admit that I don’t have a chance with Matsuda.” </p><p>This was a thought that nearly drove Aizawa insane. He liked Matsuda so much, and would do anything to have a chance at being with him. But knowing how slim his chances were and knowing that Matsuda would never feel the same way about him, nearly made Aizawa crazy.</p><p>“I understand where you’re coming from,” Ide said. “But how much longer are you going to be able to keep it to yourself?” </p><p>“I told you, didn’t I? And I’m beginning to think that may have been a mistake,” Aizawa said as he stood up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Matsu and I have some witnesses to talk to.” </p><p>“Very well,” Ide said. He smiled and added, “Oh, and Aizawa? Try to control yourself while you’re out with Matsuda.” </p><p>Aizawa ignored Ide’s snide remark and approached Matsuda. “Are you ready?” </p><p>“Sure. Let’s go,” Matsuda replied. “I know of a place we can go for lunch, too. But since you’re so <i>in love with me</i>, I guess you’ll be pretending that it’s a date.” </p><p>As he said this, Matsuda looked right into Aizawa's eyes and Aizawa noticed what big, beautiful eyes Matsuda had. Aizawa had to really restrain himself then, too. </p><p>Matsuda was laughing at his last remark and Aizawa glared at him. </p><p>“Shut up, Matsuda.” he muttered. If only Matsuda knew how much Aizawa <i>would</i> like to date him. Or kiss him, or…</p><p><i>Stop it, Aizawa!</i> he thought to himself. He was about to spend hours alone with Matsuda. Now was not the time to let his feelings for the younger officer take over him. </p><p>Nonetheless, as Aizawa drove them to their first location, his thoughts were on Matsuda, sitting there beside him in the passenger seat. Aizawa found it harder and harder to control his thoughts and actions when he was around Matsuda. To not accidentally say or do something that would probably send Matsuda running for the hills and never looking back. The last thing Aizawa wanted to do was scare Matsuda away. His feelings for Matsuda grew stronger by the day though and he knew that, eventually, he would have to tell Matsuda how he felt. And this time, make sure that Matsuda believed him. </p><p>What worried Aizawa, was what Matsuda would do after that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. What He Was Looking For</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An overnight shift for Aizawa and Matsuda turns into something more.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is actually the first of the short stories that I wrote. I modified it a bit to fit into the context of this story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't think Ryuzaki likes me very much," Matsuda said.</p><p>He and Aizawa had been tasked with the overnight shift again. The others had gone to bed for the night, though Aizawa did wonder about Ryuzaki, as he was certain that the detective never slept. Despite the fact that Matsuda apparently saw him sleeping in his chair one time. </p><p>Nonetheless, Aizawa was happy to finally have some time alone with Matsuda. To tell the truth, he had been looking forward to this all day. </p><p>He just hoped that he would be able to continue keeping his infatuation with Matsuda at bay, as he had been doing. Aizawa had told Ide how he felt about Matsuda earlier that day. And every moment that Aizawa spent with Matsuda, made it more and more difficult for Aizawa to keep his feelings for the younger officer under control. </p><p>"What makes you say that?" Aizawa asked as he took a seat on the couch and began going over the latest reports of the Kira investigation.</p><p>"He never gives me anything important to do," Matsuda said. "Aside from being Misa-Misa's manager."</p><p>"Stop with that Misa-Misa crap." It annoyed Aizawa to no end when Matsuda addressed Misa Amane by her stage name. Then again, Aizawa did not really like the girl very much to begin with.</p><p>"I know he thinks I'm an idiot," Matsuda continued. He took a seat beside Aizawa and reached over for some of the reports. As he did this, Matsuda’s hand inadvertently brushed against Aizawa’s, making the older officer blush, and wonder if it really was unintentional or not. </p><p>"You're not an idiot," Aizawa said a bit gruffly, trying to hide the excitement that he had just felt. "You're a smart man who sometimes makes stupid decisions. Like when you snuck into the Yotsuba group's building."</p><p>"Which I wouldn't have done if I felt like a valuable member of the team," Matsuda said. “And it doesn't help any that Ryuzaki had to personally rescue me from Yotsuba either.” </p><p>"Maybe if you stop screwing up--no, wait--if you're capable of not screwing up, he'll trust you more and give you more important assignments." Aizawa replied. </p><p>"I need to do something to prove myself to him," Matsuda said.</p><p>"No!" Aizawa said, a bit louder than he intended too, causing the young man beside him to jump. "What I mean is, you were trying to prove yourself when you snuck into the Yotsuba group's meeting. And you're lucky you didn't get killed when that happened."</p><p>Honestly, Matsuda's little side investigation had made Aizawa angry with him at first. Mostly because Matsuda had put himself in a situation that could have resulted in his death that night, and Aizawa did not know what he would do if that were to happen. He was also angry with Matsuda for not taking Aizawa's feelings into account before he acted. Though truthfully, Matsuda probably saw no reason to.</p><p>"I know what I can do," Matsuda said, and Aizawa prepared himself to argue against the next thing that came out of Matsuda's mouth. "I'll buy him a cake."</p><p>"Matsuda, that's the dumbest--wait a minute, what?"</p><p>"Yeah, Ryuzaki loves cake. Especially strawberry. I'll buy him a gourmet strawberry cake from the best bakery around."</p><p>"You're going to <i>buy</i> his approval?" Aizawa asked. "It means that much to you?"</p><p>"Well...it's more than that," Matsuda said. He paused before he added, "I want Ryuzaki to like me in the same way that I like him."</p><p>"You mean...?"</p><p>"Yeah, I have feelings for Ryuzaki. Strong feelings," Matsuda said. "Maybe that's why I screw up so much when I'm around Ryuzaki, because being near him makes me so nervous."</p><p>"I had no idea." This was all Aizawa could manage to say.</p><p>"I know," Matsuda said. "I've tried to keep it hidden. I like girls too, but I prefer men. And lately, I prefer Ryuzaki."</p><p>Aizawa could feel himself growing jealous of the raven-haired detective. Before, he had figured that his chances with Matsuda were slim because Matsuda would not have any romantic interest in him. Aizawa himself had never been so inclined, but after his wife left him, Matsuda had been there for him and Aizawa's fond feelings for Matsuda had grown more intense. This new information gave Aizawa some hope, but also made him wish that he was the object of Matsuda's affection.</p><p>"I don't think Ryuzaki's right for you," Aizawa said.</p><p>"I know he's a bit...quirky," Matsuda said and a smile started to form on his lips. "But that's part of what makes him so charming and attractive."</p><p>"He's too smart for you," Aizawa said without thinking.</p><p>"So you <i>do</i> think I'm stupid!"</p><p>"No, I don't. But you're not a genius either, and Ryuzaki is." Aizawa could not ignore the jealousy that was stirring inside him. Every time Matsuda said something about L, Aizawa grew more and more irritated.</p><p>"I don't think that would matter to him."</p><p>"You don't even know if Ryuzaki would be interested in you in that way," Aizawa said. "You should probably focus this attention on someone else."</p><p>"Really? Like who?"</p><p>Aizawa hesitated. "What about another member of the Task Force?"</p><p>Matsuda looked at Aizawa as if <i>he</i> were an idiot, before giving a short bitter chuckle. "A member of the Task Force? Right, I'm sure Ide or Mogi would go for me. Or maybe you meant the Chief."</p><p>Matsuda shook his head and turned back to the reports in his hands.</p><p>"There's one member of the Task Force you didn't mention," Aizawa pointed out.</p><p>"You," Matsuda said without looking up. "But I knew you weren't talking about yourself. You're the last member of the Task Force likely to have feelings for me. And that's saying something."</p><p>"Why would you say that?" Aizawa asked, slightly stung by these words.</p><p>"C'mon," Matsuda scoffed. "You're older than me, more experienced than me, and a lot of the time you and I are arguing about something."</p><p>"I only argue with you when you do something stupid or dangerous, and that's only because I care about you so damn much!"</p><p>The words were out of Aizawa's mouth before he could stop himself. He felt his face turning red again and looked back to the notes he was holding. He could feel Matsuda looking at him.</p><p>"Aizawa, I--I didn't know you cared about me so much," Matsuda said quietly. "So, when you said that I should focus on another member of the Task Force, you meant--"</p><p>Aizawa didn't let him finish. He turned toward Matsuda, grabbed him by his tie, and pulled him in for a kiss. Matsuda seemed surprised at first, but he didn't struggle or pull away. Aizawa kissed him harder, the way that he had fantasized about kissing Matsuda for weeks now. His tongue tried to find its way into Matsuda's mouth. The younger man gave in and Aizawa moaned loudly as their tongues met.</p><p>Matsuda wrapped his arms around Aizawa's neck, and laid back, pulling Aizawa down on top of him. They kissed hungrily as Aizawa fumbled at Matsuda's necktie, trying to undo it. He felt Matsuda's fingers unbuttoning his own shirt. Soon enough, they had completely undressed each other.</p><p>Afterward, as they were lying on the couch, breathless, Aizawa rolled onto his back, pulling Matsuda with him. The younger man gave a pleasurable sigh and laid his head on Aizawa's chest. </p><p>A few moments of blissful silence followed.</p><p>"Hey, Matsu?" Aizawa said.</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"Do you still plan on buying that cake for Ryuzaki?"</p><p>"What? No, I--I've found what I was looking for...with you."</p><p>Aizawa smiled and they drifted into a peaceful sleep after this. Thankfully, they woke up before everyone else did the following morning. They quickly headed to their respective rooms to shower and change clothes before the others came down.</p><p>Aizawa descended the stairs to see L crouched in his chair and surveying the monitors in front of him. A cup of coffee sat before him on a saucer and he was licking the chocolate frosting off of the donut in his hand.</p><p>"Good morning, Ryuzaki," Aizawa greeted him.</p><p>L looked up at him, which surprised Aizawa because normally the detective would talk to others while still watching his monitors. Even more surprising was the faint trace of a smile on L's face.</p><p>Yet when he spoke, it was in the same soft monotone voice he always used. "Good morning, Aizawa."</p><p>Matsuda came down the stairs then, adjusting his tie. He briefly glanced over at Aizawa and the two of them exchanged small, knowing smiles with each other.</p><p>"Ah, Matsuda-san," L calmly said to him.</p><p>Aizawa wondered why L was addressing him so formerly.</p><p>Matsuda looked equally confused. "Yes, Ryuzaki?"</p><p>"I'll take my cake now," L said and a small smile pulled on the corners of his lips.</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"The cake that you were planning to get for me, the one that you told Aizawa about," L said. "A gourmet strawberry cake sounds delicious. Though I'm afraid you can't buy my affections with it. Besides, I don't want to make Aizawa jealous."</p><p>Aizawa exchanged a look with Matsuda. How did L hear about that? And did he know what had followed?</p><p>"Apparently, you both forgot that there are surveillance cameras and wiretaps in every room of the building, including this one," L said, his smile now turned into a slight smirk. "And that every morning we review the tapes from the previous night."</p><p>Matsuda looked as horrified as Aizawa felt. Matsuda seemed like he was about to speak, but L held up his hand to stop him.</p><p>"It is of no importance to me what you do in your spare time. Nor is it any of my business," L said. "As long as your relationship does not distract you from the importance of the Kira case, I see no reason for this to be a problem for anyone."</p><p>"It won't, Ryuzaki!" Matsuda said immediately.</p><p>"I agree," Aizawa said. "It won't interfere in our work with the Task Force."</p><p>"Very well," L said softly, taking a bite from the chocolate donut. "Would you like me to keep this a secret from the others?"</p><p>Aizawa and Matsuda looked at each other, obviously thinking the same thing.</p><p>"For now at least," Aizawa said. "If you don't mind."</p><p>"Not at all," L said, turning back to the monitors. "And all it will take to buy my silence is that strawberry cake you mentioned."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Kira Was Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aizawa and Matsuda finally spent their first night together, and they end up telling Ide what happened. Aizawa learns more about how Matsuda has felt about him all this time, and they make a grisly discovery during their investigation.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aizawa headed for one of the couches to continue looking over the reports. The same reports that he and Matsuda had been working on the previous night before they got...distracted. </p>
<p>Aizawa felt exhilarated this morning. His mind kept replaying the events from the previous night. How it felt to finally kiss Matsuda. And of course what had transpired after that. It also put him more at ease to know that he no longer had to hide his feelings for Matsuda. And to know that Matsuda felt the same way about him.</p>
<p>Ide came downstairs. He greeted Matsuda and L before joining Aizawa. </p>
<p>“Good morning, Aizawa,” Ide said. He sat down beside Aizawa and grabbed a couple of files off the table. “Matsuda seems extra-happy this morning.” Ide must have noticed the smile on Aizawa’s face, too, because he added, “And so do you. What’s going on?” </p>
<p>Aizawa figured he might as well go ahead and tell Ide, since Ide already knew how Aizawa felt about Matsuda. </p>
<p>“You know that Matsuda and I had the overnight shift last night,” he began. </p>
<p>“Yeah.” </p>
<p>“Well...I kissed him.” </p>
<p>“Kissed who?” </p>
<p>“Ryuzaki,” Aizawa said dryly. “Who do you think?” </p>
<p>“You kissed Matsuda?” Ide asked. “I thought you <i>didn’t</i> want him to know. I think kissing him is a pretty big giveaway.” </p>
<p>“You’re right. But we were talking last night, and Matsu happened to mention that he likes guys as well as girls. He even had a crush on Ryuzaki.” </p>
<p>“Alright. So you kissed Matsuda and what did he do?” </p>
<p>“He kissed me back,” Aizawa replied, and he couldn’t help but smile as he said it. “Actually, one thing led to another, and we...you know.” </p>
<p>“You and Matsuda!?” Ide exclaimed. He paused and then said, “Wait. That happened down here, right? It didn’t happen on this couch, did it?” </p>
<p>Aizawa hesitated. “Yeah. It did.” </p>
<p>Ide quickly stood up and indicated the couch across from them. "You know, I think I’d rather sit on that couch instead.” </p>
<p>Matsuda approached them then and sat down beside Aizawa, where Ide had been sitting. “Ryuzaki just gave me a list of locations he wants us to investigate. Even though none of them are probably legitimate, they’re all places where people have claimed to have seen Kira.” </p>
<p>Matsuda was clearly trying to act normal around Aizawa since Ide was there. Aizawa wanted nothing more than to kiss the younger man. He looked around to make sure no one else had joined them yet. Then he wrapped his arms around Matsuda, pulled him close, and kissed him. </p>
<p>Matsuda seemed to give in at first, but then he must have remembered that they weren’t alone. He stopped and gently pushed Aizawa away from him. “Ide’s right there.” </p>
<p>“It’s okay. Ide knows.” </p>
<p>“He knows? How?” Matsuda turned to Ide. “Oh no. Don’t tell me that you saw the video, too.” </p>
<p>“There’s a video of what happened down here last night?” Ide said. “I’m going to make it a point, <i>not</i> to watch that.” </p>
<p>“I told him,” Aizawa said. “I hope you don’t mind, Matsu. I know we said that we would tell the others together, but Ide was the only person who knew how I felt about you lately.” </p>
<p>“And I won’t tell anyone if you guys don’t want me to,” Ide said. “I’m guessing no one else knows, right?” </p>
<p>“Actually, we just learned that Ryuzaki does,” Aizawa said. “He <i>did</i> happen to see last night’s video.” </p>
<p>“But aside from you, Ryuzaki is the only other person who knows,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“Your secret’s safe with me,” Ide said. </p>
<p>Aizawa turned to Matsuda. “Should we get started on that list that Ryuzaki gave you?” </p>
<p>“Sure. Let’s go,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“You two behave yourselves while you’re out there,” Ide said with a smirk. </p>
<p>“Hey, we’ll be completely professional at work,” Aizawa said. “Right, Matsu?” </p>
<p>Matsuda smiled. “Well...we’ll try to be.” </p>
<p>They headed out to one of the patrol cars and Aizawa realized just how true Matsuda’s last statement was. Because as Matsuda climbed into the passenger seat beside him, Aizawa had to really concentrate on keeping his hands off of the younger man. </p>
<p>“Hey Aiza, let me ask you something,” Matsuda said. “A couple of weeks ago, when you said that you didn’t want to work with me, did that have something to do with how you felt about me?” </p>
<p>“It did,” Aizawa admitted, as he started the car. “I was just beginning to realize my feelings for you. It confused me and it scared me. At that time, I wanted nothing more than to get rid of those feelings and I thought that putting some distance between you and me would do that. Instead, being away from you only made my feelings for you stronger and I almost completely ruined our friendship.” </p>
<p>“So you were being serious when you said that you had feelings for me,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“I was being serious. And you laughed in my face.” </p>
<p>“Sorry I didn’t believe you. It just didn’t seem like a possibility.” </p>
<p>“I was nervous about kissing you last night,” Aizawa said. “I was debating whether I should or not. By then though I had all but confessed how I felt about you. I finally had to go ahead and do it before I lost the nerve. Honestly, I half-expected you to hit me or slap me, or do something to stop me.” </p>
<p>“I have a confession of my own to make,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“What would that be?” </p>
<p>“I’ve always been attracted to you, Aizawa,” Matsuda said. For some reason, Matsuda seemed to grow a bit shy after admitting this. He blushed slightly and turned away. </p>
<p>It was freaking adorable.  </p>
<p>“You have?” Aizawa asked, surprised. </p>
<p>“Yeah. Ever since I met you.” </p>
<p>“You met me on your first day on the police force,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“I know,” Matsuda said. “I remember, you came up to me and introduced yourself.” </p>
<p>“You liked me then?” </p>
<p>“Let’s just say that the first thought that ran through my mind when I saw you was, ‘Wow’.” </p>
<p>Aizawa couldn’t help but smile. Something that Matsuda must have noticed. </p>
<p>“I probably shouldn’t have told you that,” he said, smiling himself. “Now you’re probably going to get all cocky about it.” </p>
<p>Aizawa thought about the day he met Matsuda. "It was two years ago when you joined the force. You’ve liked me for two years?” </p>
<p>“I have, but the thing is, about five minutes into our first conversation, I learned that you were married and had a family,” Matsuda said. “I figured then, that even if you weren’t married, you would never be interested in another guy. So I pushed down any feelings that I had for you. I didn’t let myself acknowledge them, but they were always there. And last night, when you kissed me, I let my feelings for you take over me for the first time.” </p>
<p>“In two years, I never even imagined that you felt that way about me,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“I kept it hidden. I had to.” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“I thought you said last night that you liked Ryuzaki.”<br/></p>
<p>“I did,” Matsuda said. “I began to think that nothing could ever happen between you and me, so I focused on someone else, trying to get over the way I felt about you. I may have liked Ryuzaki, but I always liked you a lot more. And no matter what, I couldn’t get over you. But now, I’m glad that I couldn’t.”<br/>
Matsuda paused and then added, “You know, when you told me before, that you had feelings for me, when I thought you were joking, I really wanted it to be true.” </p>
<p>“It <i>was</i> true,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“I know that now,” Matsuda replied. “But how was I supposed to know that then?” </p>
<p>“I understand. That probably did seem like something out of the blue,” Aizawa said. By now, they had reached their destination. “Here it is. I think.” </p>
<p>“It’s just a deserted building,” Matsuda observed. He checked the address and then looked back up again. “This is it though.” </p>
<p>“I’ll bet it’s another hoax,” Aizawa said. “Another prankster who called in and gave us the address of an empty building. Still, we better check it out just in case.” </p>
<p>Matsuda agreed and they both got out of the car, pulling out their guns in the process. The building itself was decrepit and rundown. It did not look like anyone had lived there in over a decade. </p>
<p>They reached the entrance and Matsuda knocked on the door. “It’s the police. Is anyone in there?” </p>
<p>Only silence answered, so Aizawa tried the door. It was unlocked. They walked inside, guns at the ready. </p>
<p>The interior of the building was bare and dark. The only light was the sunlight issuing in through the dusty windows. Matsuda took his flashlight out and went in one direction. Aizawa did the same and headed the other way. </p>
<p>It was eerily silent in here. The only sounds were their footsteps, which echoed loudly off of the barren walls and floor. </p>
<p>“Hello?” Matsuda called out suddenly and Aizawa nearly jumped through the ceiling. “Anyone here?” </p>
<p>“This is ridiculous,” Aizawa muttered. “I knew from the outside that this had to be a joke. Why the hell would Kira be hanging out in a place like this?” </p>
<p>“Hey Aiza,” Matsuda said. “I think maybe Kira was here after all.” </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Aizawa asked as he made his way over to Matsuda’s side of the building. </p>
<p>When Aizawa found Matsuda, he was focused on something on the floor in front of him. Aizawa followed Matsuda’s gaze and the glow from his flashlight. He followed them right up to the dead man lying on the ground. </p>
<p>*					*					*</p>
<p>Matsuda knelt down to check the man for a pulse and felt that he was cold to the touch. Aizawa was on the phone to get an ambulance on the scene. He then called their headquarters and told the Chief what they had found. Matsuda searched the man’s pockets, looking for some form of ID. </p>
<p>“Paramedics are on their way,” Aizawa said, just as Matsuda found the man’s wallet on an inside pocket of his coat. </p>
<p>“Kenchi Yamoto,” Matsuda said, reading the man’s name off of his driver license. “According to his date of birth, he’s forty-two years old.” </p>
<p>“Do you think it was a heart attack?” Aizawa asked. </p>
<p>“It’s likely,” Matsuda said. “I don’t see any wounds or blood. Unless it was suicide or some other medical condition.” </p>
<p>“If this is the work of Kira, then we need to talk to the witness who claimed to see him leave from here again,” Aizawa said. “Even though that doesn’t make sense either. No one knows who Kira is, so how would anyone know if they saw him or not?” </p>
<p>“That’s what I’ve always wondered every time someone says they’ve seen Kira,” Matsuda said.  “It actually casts more suspicion on the witness then.” </p>
<p>Paramedics soon arrived and took the body away. Matsuda and Aizawa looked around for any evidence that could be secured, but didn’t find anything. Not at all surprising if this was indeed the work of Kira. </p>
<p>They had five other locations to look into, yet found nothing at any of those sites. They stopped for lunch and then returned to headquarters. </p>
<p>The Task Force likely would not learn much more about Kenchi Yamoto’s death for another couple of days. They intended to speak to the source that sent them in the first place, but this man was suddenly and mysteriously impossible to contact or track down. By the end of the day, they did not know anymore about Yamoto or their mysterious witness than they did that morning. </p>
<p>Aizawa had taken a seat on the couch with what little info they had on this case. Matsuda knew it was probably driving Aizawa crazy to not have any leads to follow. Matsuda looked around. At the moment, the only person in the room was L. So he took a seat beside Aizawa and laid his head on Aizawa’s shoulder. Aizawa put an arm around Matsuda, pulling him closer. </p>
<p>“What a day, huh Matsu?” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“You can say that again,” Matsuda replied. </p>
<p>“You know I was thinking, if you want to, you could just spend the night in my room tonight,” Aizawa said quietly. </p>
<p>Matsuda smiled. “I love that idea. At least there won’t be any cameras or listening devices.” </p>
<p>“Do you have any idea how difficult it’s been to control myself around you all day today?” </p>
<p>“I would imagine just as difficult as it was for me,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>They heard the Chief and Mogi coming down the stairs and instantly drew apart from each other. At the same time, Ide approached them and said, “I tried to contact our witness once more without any luck. I’ll have to try again tomorrow. Mogi and I are doing overnight tonight, so I’ll see if I can find out anything else about this guy.” </p>
<p>“You and Mogi?” Matsuda said. He smiled and added, “Remember that there’s cameras and wire taps down here.” </p>
<p>“That’s not happening,” Ide said. “Not everyone who does an overnight shift together then has to end up sleeping together. That’s only the two of you.” </p>
<p>Aizawa stood up and said, “I think I’ll turn in for the night.” </p>
<p>He said goodnight to everyone, then exchanged a knowing look with Matsuda, before heading upstairs. </p>
<p>Matsuda wanted to go ahead and follow him, but he knew that would look suspicious. Instead, he decided he would wait ten minutes before going upstairs himself. They were the longest ten minutes of Matsuda’s life. </p>
<p>Finally, he announced that he was going to bed too, said goodnight to everyone, and did his best not to hurry up the stairs. Matsuda reached Aizawa’s room and lightly knocked on the door. </p>
<p>“Aiza?” he whispered. </p>
<p>“It’s open,” Aizawa quietly responded. </p>
<p>Matsuda walked in, turned around to lock the door, and the second he turned back toward the room, he was immediately pushed up against the wall by Aizawa. </p>
<p>“I’ve been waiting all day to finally be alone with you,” Aizawa whispered. </p>
<p>Then he kissed Matsuda deeply and passionately. Matsuda eagerly kissed him back and allowed Aizawa’s tongue to meet his own. He heard Aizawa moan as he kissed Matsuda harder and began to unbutton his shirt and pull it off. Matsuda removed Aizawa’s shirt as well, then wrapped his arms tightly around the older man, pulling him closer, never wanting to let go. </p>
<p>Aizawa quickly led Matsuda over to the bed. Having had to hide their relationship from those who did not yet know about them, and also trying to maintain a professional demeanor while at work, made both of them all the more eager for tonight. They shared another amazing and passionate night together. </p>
<p> Aizawa rolled off of Matsuda, practically collapsing beside him. He put an arm around Matsuda, softly kissed him a couple of times, then held him close. Matsuda gave a sigh of pleasure and cuddled up close to Aizawa. </p>
<p>Being with Aizawa, just felt right to Matsuda. He felt safe and comfortable with him. It was true that Matsuda had waited two years for nights like the previous ones. Nights that Matsuda never imagined would eventually happen. But to learn that Aizawa liked him in the same way that Matsuda had liked Aizawa for two years now, was an incredible feeling. </p>
<p>As they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms, Matsuda realized that he had never been happier than he was with Aizawa. And what was more, was that it was obvious Aizawa felt the same way about Matsuda.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. One More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Told from Ide's POV. His perspective of the relationship between Aizawa and Matsuda. One more person learns about their relationship as well, when they also suggest that Ide tell Mogi about them.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A couple of weeks later, Ide and Mogi were finishing up another overnight shift. They were still trying, in vain, to learn more about Kenchi Yamoto, the man that Aizawa and Matsuda had found in that old building. They also didn't have any more luck contacting the witness that ultimately led them to Yamoto either.</p><p>Just then, Ide heard the voices of Aizawa and Matsuda coming down the stairs. While he could not be sure, Ide was pretty certain that they had spent every night together since the night they first kissed, two weeks ago. </p><p>Yet they showed no sign of anything out of the ordinary for them, as they greeted Ide and Mogi, but probably because Mogi was there. Since Ide and L were the only ones who knew about Aizawa and Matsuda, they would not show any indication of something going on between them in the presence of anyone else. Ide wondered if they planned on telling Mogi at all. The four of them worked together a lot, but maybe they still didn’t want anyone else to know yet. Nonetheless, he could not ask them anything with Mogi sitting at the computer beside him. </p><p>Aizawa and Matsuda probably seemed like nothing more than colleagues and friends to Mogi, but Ide noticed how much closer they had become just over the past couple of weeks. He was also certain that his assumptions about their nights together were correct as well. </p><p>Five minutes later, Mogi left the room to get some more coffee. Ide took this chance to ask the other two whether they planned to tell Mogi about them or not. Aizawa and Matsuda looked like they were about to head out to begin that day’s investigation. Ide approached them before they left. </p><p>“Hey guys, I was thinking about it, and do think Mogi should know about you?” Ide asked. “It’s completely up to you two, of course. And I still won’t say anything to him if you don’t want me to. But the four of us do a lot of work together. It might be easier if you didn’t have to hide it from Mogi.” </p><p>"You know, it does seem a bit unfair to keep Mogi in the dark when Ide already knows about us,” Matsuda said to Aizawa.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right,” Aizawa said. “We might as well tell him.” </p><p>“Aiza and I have witnesses we need to talk to, but you can go ahead and tell him,” Matsuda said. “Just don’t tell anyone else yet. And make sure Mogi doesn’t either.” </p><p>“I don’t think Mogi gossipping about us is something we really need to worry about,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“You want me to tell him, though?” Ide said. “Are you sure?” </p><p>“Of course,” Matsuda said. “We have an appointment to meet with our first witness in fifteen minutes. So we have to leave right now to get there on time.” </p><p>“We don’t mind if Mogi knows about us,” Aizawa said. </p><p>Ide agreed and the two of them left. He wondered what Mogi’s reaction would be. Ide himself had been surprised. First, when Aizawa confessed to him that he liked Matsuda, and then to learn what had occurred during their overnight shift two weeks ago. </p><p>Yet they were clearly infatuated with one another and they had such opposite personalities, that they actually seemed to balance each other out. Individually, they were each still himself, but the influence of the other was also evident. </p><p>Matsuda was still the same happy-go-lucky, friendly guy that he had always been. He was still the fun-loving and easygoing person that they had all come to know. But since being with Aizawa, Ide noticed that Matsuda was a bit more grounded and serious about his work. </p><p>Aizawa, on the other hand, had always been more serious about everything, perhaps too much at times. Yet, since being with Matsuda, Aizawa had loosened up some. Ide had never seen Aizawa so happy before either. </p><p>Aizawa had always been quick-tempered and impatient, too. Though once he and Matsuda had gotten together, Aizawa never seemed to grow angry or impatient with him. And Ide had to wonder if the reason that Aizawa used to grow so irritated with Matsuda beforehand, was because of Aizawa's feelings for Matsuda that he was trying to keep hidden. Another thing was that anytime Aizawa did grow angry about something, Matsuda was the only person who could calm him down. </p><p>Aizawa was, however, <i>very</i> protective of Matsuda. If anyone offended, harmed, or threatened Matsuda in any way, that person then had Aizawa’s wrath to deal with. On that point, if anyone disrespected Aizawa in some way, Matsuda would be the one to get angry. And the usually non-confrontational Matsuda would vehemently defend Aizawa. </p><p>They kept blatant displays of affection to themselves more or less. An embrace here, or a brief kiss there, but that was all. Though this could also be attributed to the fact that only Ide and L knew about them, so if anyone else was around, they obviously would not show anything more than friendship with each other. Yet, Ide still somewhat feared inadvertently walking in on something that he did not want to see at some point. </p><p>He had also been initially thrown off by what they called each other. At work, they usually used each other’s last names, or an abbreviated form of it, at least when referring to each other if they were talking to Ide or any of the others. Sometimes though, they would forget and use a term of endearment that Ide was not familiar with nor used to. </p><p>Matsuda for example, had started using the name Shichi, when talking or referring to Aizawa. Apparently, this was a shortened version of Aizawa’s first name, Shuichi. Still, the first time Matsuda said it to Ide, Ide thought Matsuda was talking about a new member of the Task Force that Ide had not met yet. And he had the same problem the first time he heard Aizawa refer to Matsuda as Tou-chan. </p><p>Ide supposed it was sweet in a way. It was another way they showed their affection for each other. And for the most part, they only used those pet names when talking to each other, occasionally letting it slip out unintentionally in front of Ide or L.  </p><p>Mogi came back in then. He regained his seat at the computer to Ide’s right. Ide looked around to make sure no one else was in the room yet. </p><p>“Mogi, there’s something that Aizawa and Matsuda wanted me to tell you about them,” Ide said. </p><p>“What is it?” Mogi asked. </p><p>Ide hesitated, trying to think of the best way to say this. “Aizawa and Matsuda are...a couple.” </p><p>“A couple of what?” </p><p>“No, just a couple,” Ide explained. “They’re together. You know, dating each other.” </p><p>Mogi stared at Ide for a few seconds, before bursting into laughter. It actually startled Ide to hear something so boisterous coming from Mogi. “Good one, Ide.” </p><p>“No, I’m serious,” Ide insisted. “Aizawa told me a few weeks ago that he had developed feelings for Matsuda. Last time they had the overnight shift, Aizawa kissed him. They’ve been together ever since.” </p><p>“Aizawa and Matsuda?” Mogi said and Ide could hear the skepticism in his voice. “There’s no way. They’re too different from each other.” </p><p>“Opposites attract, right?” </p><p>“I guess. But still, you’re making this up.” </p><p>“Why would I make up something like this?” Ide asked. “Fine then. If you don’t believe me, then when they get back, I’ll let <i>them</i> tell you.” </p><p>It was another forty-five minutes before Aizawa and Matsuda returned. The moment they walked in, Ide said, “I tried to tell Mogi about you two, but he didn’t believe me.” </p><p>He saw Matsuda briefly exchange a furtive glance with Aizawa, before turning back to Ide. </p><p>“You tried to tell Mogi about us?” Matsuda asked. “What do you mean?” </p><p>“I told him that you two are together.” </p><p> “Where did you get a crazy idea like that?” Aizawa asked him. </p><p>Ide saw what they were doing now, and Mogi was looking more and more vindictive as the conversation progressed. </p><p>“Very funny,” Ide said. “Now please, help me out here. You told me that I should go ahead and tell Mogi about you two.” </p><p>“I think we’d remember if we told you something like that,” Matsuda said. </p><p>Mogi turned to Ide. “I knew it was a joke. Nice try, Ide.” </p><p>“It’s <i>not</i> a joke,” Ide insisted. “Come on, guys.” </p><p>“Of course it is,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“But honestly, I think you could’ve come up with something better,” Matsuda added. “I mean, me and Aizawa? Who would believe that?” </p><p>Ide could tell that those two were enjoying themselves, but now Ide was growing frustrated with both of them. He wished that they would stop and just tell Mogi the truth already. </p><p>“Matsuda’s right,” Mogi said. “If you wanted to play some sort of joke on me, you could have come up with something more believable.” </p><p>“This <i>is</i> believable, because it’s true!” Ide said. “Aizawa, tell him.” </p><p>“Tell him what?” Aizawa asked innocently. “That you made up some theory about me and Matsuda being in a relationship? You’re not going to start spreading rumors about us now, are you?” </p><p>“Matsuda?” Ide prompted. </p><p>“Yes?” </p><p>“You tell Mogi.” </p><p>“You’re being weirdly insistent about this,” Matsuda said lightly. </p><p>“I knew it wasn’t true,” Mogi said. He stood up and added, “Nice try. But you should have at least asked Aizawa and Matsuda to play along.” </p><p>Mogi turned to head upstairs, but Aizawa stopped him. “Mogi, wait. There is something that Matsuda and I wanted to show you.” </p><p>Ide could tell that Mogi thought they were going to show him something to do with the Kira case. Of course, the way these two were acting, Ide would not be surprised if this were true.<br/>
Instead, without another word, Aizawa grabbed Matsuda, held him close, and kissed him. Matsuda instantly responded, wrapping his arms tightly around Aizawa. </p><p>Ide glanced over at Mogi. He was staring at them in apparent shock. </p><p>Aizawa and Matsuda meanwhile, seemed to have forgotten that Ide and Mogi were still in the room with them. Their kiss lingered on and appeared to be growing more passionate. Ide had to stop them before clothes began flying off. He loudly cleared his throat and the two of them stopped and looked up. </p><p>“Finished yet?” Ide asked them. </p><p>“No,” Matsuda said. “You just rudely interrupted us” </p><p>“There you have it, Mogi,” Aizawa said. “Ide was telling you the truth. Matsu and I are together, and we have been for two weeks now.” </p><p>Mogi still looked surprised. At any rate, the quietest man that Ide had ever met, seemed to be at a total loss for words. </p><p>Finally, he managed to say, “Congratulations, you two. And Ide, I guess I owe you an apology, after all.” </p><p>Matsuda then mentioned to Mogi that only he, Ide, and L knew about them. And he asked Mogi not to tell anyone else. Though as Aizawa had hinted at earlier, Mogi telling other people about their relationship was not really that big of a concern. </p><p>Aizawa added that they did plan to tell everyone eventually, but they were just waiting for the right time. Also, they did not want to wait too long either, in case the others somehow found out about them on their own. </p><p>Ide understood that they needed to do this in their own time and when they were ready. Until then, their secret was safe with Mogi, L, and Ide himself. Though Ide could not imagine that anyone else would have a problem with it. And he was also pretty certain that it would come as a relief to Aizawa and Matsuda too, since they would no longer have to hide their relationship from the rest of the Task Force.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Matsu and Monchichi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Misa comes by to discuss that evening's film shoot with Matsuda. Instead, she becomes the next person to learn about the relationship between he and Aizawa.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was also one of my original short stories. Again, I made slight modifications to fit it into this story. The chapter title is based on Misa's nicknames for Matsuda and Aizawa.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matsuda wondered who could be knocking on his bedroom door so early in the morning. </p><p>He and Aizawa had spent the night in Matsuda’s room last night and they had only woken up thirty minutes ago themselves.</p><p>When Matsuda answered the door it was to find Misa standing on the other side of it. She enthusiastically greeted him. “Good morning, Matsu!” </p><p>“Good morning, Misa-Misa.” Matsuda returned the greeting and subsequently heard Aizawa grumble under his breath. “Do you need something?” </p><p>Unlike Aizawa, Matsuda did not have any problems with Misa-Misa. He liked her more than other members of the Task Force seemed to and never got annoyed with her either. But right now, he wanted her to leave so that he could be alone with Aizawa for a little while before they had to start working. </p><p>“I wanted to talk to you about tonight’s shoot,” Misa said as she invited herself inside. “The time has changed—oh, Monchichi! What are you doing here?” </p><p>“Obviously, I’m here to talk to Matsuda about the Kira investigation,” Aizawa said. It was clear to Matsuda that Aizawa was doing his best to remain calm. </p><p>“This early?” Misa asked. </p><p>Aizawa glared at her for a few seconds and then headed for the kitchen without another word. The rooms at the new headquarters building were more like full apartments, making it easy for Aizawa to leave the room and pretend that Misa was invisible if he wanted to. He always seemed to want minimal interaction with her at any rate. He got a mug out of the cupboard and poured himself some coffee.</p><p>“Do you want any coffee, Matsuda?” Aizawa asked. </p><p>“Yes, please.” </p><p>“Misa?” Aizawa asked, and Matsuda was pleased to see that he was, so far, being civil to her. </p><p>“No thank you.” </p><p>As Aizawa poured a second cup of coffee, Matsuda turned back to Misa. “What were you saying about your shoot later?” </p><p>“Oh, right,” Misa said. “They just called and told me that the time of the shoot changed. It’s going to start an hour earlier than originally scheduled. So we’ll probably have to leave an hour earlier than we were going to.” </p><p>Aizawa returned then and set down one of the cups of coffee in front of Matsuda. “Here you go. With two cubes of sugar and one cream.” </p><p>Matsuda smiled. “You know just how I like it.” </p><p>Aizawa smiled in return as he took a seat beside Matsuda. “Of course I do.” </p><p>He leaned in and kissed Matsuda, who eagerly kissed Aizawa back until he remembered that they weren’t alone. Aizawa seemed to remember this at the same time. They broke apart and both slowly turned toward their guest. </p><p>Misa was gaping at them in surprise. Her expression of shock quickly changed to a knowing smile and she practically squealed. “Matsu and Monchichi? I never would have guessed!” She gave a somewhat sly smile to Aizawa and added, “<i>Now</i> I know why you’re here so early.” </p><p>“Oh, crap,” Aizawa muttered.  </p><p>Matsuda tried to distract Misa from what she had just seen, knowing it would be in vain. “So...Misa-Misa. About your shoot later, we should probably leave around four in the afternoon. What do you think?” </p><p>“Oh no you don’t,” Misa replied. “Do you really think I didn’t see anything? I did come by here to discuss my shoot with you, Matsu. But now, there’s something even <i>more</i> interesting to talk about.” </p><p>Aizawa mumbled something else under his breath and Matsuda knew that he was quickly losing his patience with Misa. </p><p>“Misa-Misa,” Matsuda said. “Perhaps now is not the time for us to discuss this.” </p><p>“What are you talking about? It’s the perfect time. I just want to know how it happened, and who made the first move, and how long ago, and why--”</p><p>“Miss Amane,” Aizawa interrupted her. Calling Misa by her last name was usually a clear indication that Aizawa was about two seconds away from throwing Misa out of the room.“What’s going on between Matsuda and I is really none of your business.” </p><p>“Oh, I get it. No one else knows about this yet,” Misa said. “Don’t worry. I can keep a secret. I like being the first to know.” </p><p>“You’re not the first to know,” Aizawa told her. “In fact, you’re one of the last.” </p><p>“Matsu!” Misa said, turning to him. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Monchichi? We go to shoots together all the time and you never said anything about it.” </p><p>“The time was just never right,” Matsuda told her. </p><p>"How long has this been going on?" </p><p>"Nearly three weeks now," Matsuda told her. </p><p>“And who knew before I did?” </p><p>“Let’s put it this way,” Aizawa said. “The only people who <i>don’t</i> know now are Light and the Chief.” </p><p>“You mean Ryuzaki knew before I did?” Misa sounded like she could not believe this. </p><p>“Yes, but we didn’t tell him,” Matsuda said. “He found out about us when he saw a video of us from the last time Aizawa and I had the late night shift.”  </p><p>“Oh, I see,” Misa said lightly. “And just what exactly was <i>on</i> this video?” </p><p>“Okay, that’s enough!” Aizawa said impatiently. “It’s time for you to leave.” </p><p>“Wait a minute. Mochi knows too?” </p><p>“Yes. And so does Ide,” Aizawa said. He got up and opened the door. “Out.” </p><p>“First, we should tell Light,” Misa said. </p><p>She stood up, apparently to do just that. </p><p>“Misa-Misa, wait!” Aizawa exclaimed. He then seemed to realize what he had said. “Damn it!” </p><p>Matsuda could not help but laugh, though he did try to stop after a glance from Aizawa. </p><p>“Aww, Monchichi,” Misa said. She sounded touched and surprised that Aizawa had used her stage name. </p><p>“I didn’t mean to say that,” Aizawa told her pointedly. “It just slipped out.” </p><p>“We don’t have to tell Light yet if you don’t want to,” Misa said. “We can wait if that’s better.” </p><p>“We?” Aizawa asked her. “The only ‘we’ here is Matsu and myself. It’s not your decision when or if to tell Light.” </p><p>“I understand,” Misa said. “So...tell me about everything. I still want all the details.” </p><p>“And I still want you to leave,” Aizawa said, indicating the open door. </p><p>Matsuda could tell that Aizawa was close to losing his temper. “Misa-Misa, if you leave right now, then tonight, I will tell you anything you want to know about me and Aizawa.” </p><p>“<i>Anything</i> she wants to know?” Aizawa asked him. </p><p>Matsuda got what he meant and quickly turned back to Misa. “Nothing intimate. Just basic questions that you have about us.” </p><p>“Aww, alright. I’m holding you to that Matsu,” Misa said. “I’ll see you later. You too, Monchichi.” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Aizawa said in return. </p><p>Misa left and Aizawa immediately closed the door, locking it behind her. </p><p>“I thought she’d never leave,” Aizawa said, smiling. He pushed Matsuda back onto the couch and then climbed on top of Matsuda, kissing him deeply. </p><p>Matsuda responded enthusiastically as he wrapped his arms around Aizawa. He heard Aizawa moan as their tongues met and he kissed Matsuda even harder. Aizawa began to unbutton Matsuda's shirt. He had just pulled it off when a knock on the door interrupted them. </p><p>“Crap,” Aizawa muttered. “That girl cannot take a hint.” </p><p>The person knocked again, this time followed by Ide’s voice, “Matsuda?” </p><p>“Misa sounds different,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“Don’t answer him and Ide will just think that no one’s here,” Aizawa said quietly. </p><p>“Matsuda, I know you’re in there,” Ide said. “Either that, or Aizawa’s in your room talking to himself.” </p><p>“What do you want, Ide?” Matsuda asked him. </p><p>“And it better be an emergency,” Aizawa added. </p><p>“It’s about a new lead on the Kira investigation that Ryuzaki wants you guys to look into,” Ide said. </p><p>“Great,” Aizawa said dryly. He smiled at Matsuda and added, “I’m sure it can wait until we’re on the clock.” </p><p>“You <i>are</i> on the clock,” Ide said from outside the door. </p><p>“We don’t start until eight. And it’s only…” Matsuda paused and looked over at the nearby clock. “Eight-ten. Damn it.” </p><p>“All right. We’ll be right down,” Aizawa said. He kissed Matsuda long and deep again. “But tonight, you and I are going to pick up right where we left off.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Last To Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Soichiro and Light become the last members of the Task Force to learn about Aizawa and Matsuda.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is taken from the last short story that I wrote.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aizawa woke up one morning to the sound of his cell phone ringing. Still half-asleep, he blindly groped around for it on the nightstand until he found it.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Mr. Aizawa," L's voice replied. "If it's not too much trouble, could you come down here please? I know it's still early, but some new Kira evidence came in that I would like to have taken to the lab. I could ask someone else to take it, but as you have connections at the lab, perhaps you could urge them to look over the evidence as soon as possible."</p><p>"Sure. Just let me shower and dress and I'll be right down."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Aizawa hung up and looked over at Matsuda, who was still peacefully sleeping beside him. Doing his best not to wake him, Aizawa quietly slid out of bed and headed for the bathroom to start getting ready. By the time he was done and returned to the bedroom, Matsuda had woken up.</p><p>"Morning, Tou-chan," Aizawa greeted him.</p><p>"Morning, Shichi," Matsuda replied. "Are you going somewhere?"</p><p>"Yeah, Ryuzaki has some new evidence that he wants me to take to the lab. You can stay here if you want to. It shouldn't take me long."</p><p>"No, that's alright," Matsuda said as he walked over and joined Aizawa at the door. "I'll head back to my room and get ready for the day. If there's new evidence, we might have a lot of work ahead of us. Besides, by the time you get back, it'll be time to start anyway."</p><p>"Yeah, I guess you're right," Aizawa said. "Just one thing before I go then."</p><p>"What's that?" Matsuda asked.</p><p>Matsuda barely finished asking his question before Aizawa pushed him up against the wall and kissed him deeply. Matsuda moaned as he eagerly kissed Aizawa in return and let Aizawa's tongue find his. Aizawa pressed himself against Matsuda, pinning the younger man against the wall and kissed him harder, as their tongues danced with each other. Aizawa let their kiss linger on, not wanting it to end.</p><p>Eventually he had to stop, and he reluctantly pulled away from Matsuda. "If I don't stop now, I'm going to lose all self-control."</p><p>Matsuda smiled at him. He was so damn cute, Aizawa could barely stand it. "You say that like it's a bad thing."</p><p>"It is right now."</p><p>"I know you have to get going."</p><p>"I <i>really</i> don't want to," Aizawa admitted.</p><p>"Hey, we can always continue this later," Matsuda said.</p><p>"Oh, we most certainly will."</p><p>They left Aizawa's room, then as Matsuda entered his room next door, Aizawa continued downstairs.</p><p>L appeared to be the only person who was awake. It surprised Aizawa at first, until he remembered that it was actually a little too early for the others to be awake yet. L looked over at Aizawa as he descended the last few stairs.</p><p>"Mr. Aizawa, that took longer than expected," L said, with a knowing smirk. "You weren't distracted by something-or someone-upstairs, were you?"</p><p>Aizawa decided to just ignore L's snide comment and asked him, "Where's the evidence you wanted me to take?"</p><p>L handed him an envelope and Aizawa got into his car. He had been to the police station's lab so often, especially recently, that he drove there almost automatically. And as often happened when left alone with his thoughts, they shifted to Matsuda.</p><p>They had now been together for one month. Aizawa had never been happier either. He never knew that he could care so deeply about someone. Nervous as he had been beforehand, Aizawa was glad that he made the first move to kiss Matsuda that night. It had led to where they were now. Aizawa got pure joy just out of being able to hold Matsuda, or cuddle with him in bed. As long as he was with Matsuda, then Aizawa was happy.</p><p>Everyone now knew about them, too, except Light and the Chief. They were all surprised to find out, but no one had a problem with it, for which Aizawa and Matsuda were both grateful. They weren't worried about Light either, but wondered how the Chief would react. It was why they had not told them yet. They wanted to tell Light when they were ready to tell the Chief, too. It had to be soon, before they found out about it on their own.</p><p>Aizawa wasn't worried about anyone else on the Task Force telling them, but he did fear that Misa would let it slip. Especially since she almost did this a couple of times already. For some reason, she was annoyingly interested in their relationship. When she first found out, a couple of weeks ago, she kept saying "we" as if she were a part of it. Apparently, Aizawa holding the door open and telling her to get out, was not enough of a hint that he wanted her to leave. And according to Matsuda, she used any spare time at her shoots to question him about different aspects of their relationship.</p><p>Aizawa arrived at the station, almost without realizing it. He walked inside and thankfully he found a couple of his friends from the lab working there that day. Aizawa gave them the envelope and asked them to look it over as soon as possible and they agreed to get right on it.</p><p>When Aizawa returned, Ide and Mogi had joined L downstairs. When Matsuda joined them a few minutes later, Aizawa noticed that he wasn't wearing a tie.</p><p>"I think you forgot something," Aizawa told him.</p><p>"Actually I'm out of clean ties and I was going to ask you if you had one that I could borrow."</p><p>"Sure, I have a few ties in my room. Come on."</p><p>"If you wouldn't mind, Matsuda, perhaps I could discuss something with you while Aizawa goes upstairs?" L said. "I have a file on the Kira case that I would like both of you to look into today."</p><p>Matsuda approached L as Aizawa headed up to his room and grabbed a tie. He arrived downstairs, just as L handed a couple of files over to Matsuda.</p><p>"Hey, Matsu," Aizawa said. Matsuda turned around and Aizawa put the tie around his neck. Matsuda looked confused as Aizawa proceeded to go ahead and begin tying it for him.</p><p>"I can tie my own tie, you know," Matsuda said lightly.</p><p>Aizawa smiled at him. "I know."</p><p>"Aiza…"</p><p>"I've got this, Matsu. Besides, your hands are full anyway."</p><p>When he was done, Aizawa put a hand on the back of Matsuda's head and leaned it to kiss him. In front of the others, he made sure to keep this kiss brief and more tasteful than the passionate one they had shared in Aizawa's room that morning.</p><p>As they broke apart, Ide quietly said, "Hey, you guys remember how Light and the Chief were the only people who didn't know about the two of you yet?"</p><p>"Yeah, why?" Matsuda asked him.</p><p>Ide glanced across the room and added, "I think they do now."</p><p>Aizawa knew what that meant and he almost did not want to turn around and face them. Matsuda was already looking their way, and now seemed nervous. Aizawa slowly turned around, too.</p><p>Not surprisingly, they both looked like they had just seen a Shinigami for the first time. Light had just entered the room. The Chief was a couple of paces behind Light, and he was the one Aizawa was watching for a reaction.</p><p>From behind Aizawa, Matsuda whispered to him, "Should we say something?"</p><p><i>Like what?</i> Aizawa thought. <i>They're going to wonder why we kept it from them to begin with.</i></p><p>Silence reigned for what felt like years to Aizawa, before Soichiro stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Aizawa, Matsuda. Could I have a word please?"</p><p>He headed for the couches nearby. Aizawa and Matsuda obediently followed him.</p><p>"I feel like we're in school and got sent to the principal's office," Matsuda muttered.</p><p>"Really?" Aizawa whispered back. "Because I feel like we're going to the gallows."</p><p>Soichiro sat down on one of the couches and patiently waited until Aizawa and Matsuda had taken a seat on the one across from him.</p><p>"It seems pointless to ask this seeing what I walked in on, but...is there something going on between you two?" Soichiro asked.</p><p>Aizawa was glad to hear that the Chief's tone was more neutral and friendly, than it was stern and serious. It put him more at ease at any rate.</p><p>"Yes, sir," Matsuda said and Aizawa nodded in agreement.</p><p>"For how long?"</p><p>"About one month now," Aizawa answered.</p><p>"And I take it Light and I are the last to know," Soichiro said. "Since no one else seemed particularly surprised by what they were seeing."</p><p>"It's true, Chief," Matsuda said. "But we didn't plan it that way."</p><p>"That's right," Aizawa said. "In fact, Matsu and I always planned to tell everyone at one time, but the others kept finding out about it on their own. And well, you and Light just happen to be the last ones."</p><p>"I have one question only," Soichiro said. "Will this relationship between the two of you cause any distractions from your work here?"</p><p>It was similar to the concerns that L had when he first learned about them.</p><p>"Absolutely not," Aizawa said.</p><p>"That's right," Matsuda agreed. "It hasn't caused a problem for us up until now and it won't later on either."</p><p>Soichiro nodded. "Good. That's the only thing that I was worried about."</p><p>"So...Chief, you're okay with this?" Aizawa asked.</p><p>"What, do you think I'm some old-fashioned curmudgeon?" Soichiro asked lightly. He smiled and added, "This Task Force is like a family to me. I want everyone to be happy, both professionally and personally. As long as you two are happy and it's not going to cause any interruptions in your work, then I don't have any problems with it whatsoever. Just try to keep the displays of affection to a minimum in the workplace."</p><p>Matsuda bowed his head. "Of course, Chief. And thank you"</p><p>The three of them stood up and rejoined the others. It appeared that Light had asked Ide, Mogi, and L about what was happening between Aizawa and Matsuda. It didn't matter if the others told him about them now.</p><p>And then, presumably because Aizawa's day was going a little <i>too</i> well, Misa came in. She approached all of them and asked, "What are we talking about?"</p><p>"My dad and I just found out about Matsuda and Aizawa," Light told her.</p><p>"About time!" Misa said. "I've been <i>dying</i> to tell you about them. How did you find out?"</p><p>"We walked in on them-wait, why does it matter?" Light said.</p><p>"Just curious," Misa said. "Matsu can tell me about it at my shoot later tonight though. That's always when he tells me all about their relationship."</p><p>Matsuda instantly looked nervous and glanced over at Aizawa.</p><p><i>"All</i> about it, Matsuda?" Aizawa asked.</p><p>"I was hoping you didn't hear that," Matsuda said. "I don't tell her everything. Like private stuff that's just between you and me, I don't tell Misa-Misa about any of that."</p><p>"Not that I would mind knowing about it," Misa cut in. "Hey Matsu, we can talk about that tonight."</p><p>"But we're not going to," Matsuda said. "We are not talking about anything private between me and Aizawa. Not tonight, nor any other time."</p><p>"Oh, okay," Misa said. Then she turned to Aizawa and said, "You and I need to start spending some more time together too, Monchichi."</p><p>"That sounds like a horrible idea," Aizawa told her. He did not hate Misa or anything like that, but he could only handle her in small doses.</p><p>"Oh come on, <i>Monchichi</i>," Matsuda said, smiling.</p><p>"Don't you start calling me that, too," Aizawa told him.</p><p>"You're with Matsu now, and I spend a lot of time with him because he's my manager," Misa said. "But you and I don't spend time together at all."</p><p>"Believe me, I'm fine with that," Aizawa said. His patience with this girl was already wearing thin.</p><p>Something that Matsuda seemed to notice. He turned to Misa and said, "Misa-Misa, we do have a lot of work to do here, if you don't mind. I'll see you tonight though."</p><p>"I understand," Misa replied. She said goodbye to everyone, and then finally took her leave.</p><p>"I don't know how you do it, Tou-chan," Aizawa said to him.</p><p>"Do what?"</p><p>"Put up with her the way you do. I know you're a patient person, but still, spending hours upon hours with Misa? That would drive me crazy."</p><p>"She's not that bad, you know."</p><p>"If you say so. I'm just glad that I don't have to be her manager," Aizawa said. "Should we look into those reports that Ryuzaki gave you?"</p><p>Matsuda looked down at the files in his hands, and gave a couple of them to Aizawa. As they sat down on the couch to go through them, Matsuda said, "To be honest, I'm glad that everyone knows about us now."</p><p>"Me too," Aizawa said. It was a relief now that they no longer had to hide their relationship from anyone.</p><p>L came over to them at that moment and asked, "I was wondering if you two would mind taking the overnight shift again?"</p><p>Aizawa could not help but smile as he remembered what happened the last time he and Matsuda had the overnight shift.. Matsuda was smiling, too, seemingly recalling the same thing.</p><p>"I don't think that will be a problem, right, Shichi?" Matsuda said.</p><p>"Right. We would actually <i>prefer</i> to have that shift."</p><p>Their smiles and their responses were not lost on L, of course. "Thank you. This time, however, I would like to remind you about the cameras and wiretaps down here. And keep in mind that, come tomorrow morning, I really don't need to see what I saw last time."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. A Blast From Matsuda's Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aizawa and Matsuda happen to have a run-in with Matsuda's ex-boyfriend.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aizawa and Matsuda had just finished lunch and as they stepped outside of the cafe, a voice behind them called out, “Touta? Touta Matsuda?” </p><p>They both turned around. Aizawa spotted a young man, probably about the same age as Matsuda, approaching them. He had short, black, slightly curly hair, was roughly the same height as Matsuda, and dressed rather professionally. </p><p>“Satoshi Takiyama?” Matsuda said. “It’s been a long time.” </p><p>Matsuda put out his hand, but Takiyama pulled Matsuda into an embrace that was a little too tight for Aizawa’s liking. Matsuda did not seem all that thrilled by it either. </p><p>“It sure has been,” Takiyama said, finally releasing Matsuda. “What have you been up to?” </p><p>“I’m a police officer now,” Matsuda said. He indicated Aizawa and said, “This is my partner, Shuichi Aizawa. Aizawa, this is Satoshi Takiyama. We were friends in college.” </p><p>Aizawa shook hands with Takiyama and the latter turned back to Matsuda. </p><p>“Just friends, Touta?” Takiyama asked him. “Because if you’ll recall, for that one summer, we were a little <i>more</i> than friends. You remember that, don’t you?” </p><p>Matsuda seemed to immediately grow very uncomfortable. In fact, there had been something odd about Matsuda’s demeanor toward Takiyama from the start. He had greeted the other man when they first saw him, but it seemed to Aizawa that Matsuda was not really all that happy to see Takiyama. </p><p>“We really need to get back to work,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“You <i>do</i> remember that summer, don’t you?” Takiyama asked him. </p><p>“Of course I do,” Matsuda said quietly. </p><p>Takiyama reached out and took Matsuda’s hand, giving Aizawa the sudden urge to punch this guy right in the face. Aizawa could see Matsuda trying to pull away, but Takiyama wouldn’t let go. </p><p>Aizawa had to step in. “I would appreciate it, if you would let go of my boyfriend’s hand.” </p><p>“Boyfriend?” Takiyama said. He was clearly surprised, but instantly dropped his grip on Matsuda’s hand. He turned to Matsuda and said, “When you said he was your partner, I thought you meant your partner in the police force.” </p><p>“Well, yeah. That too,” Matsuda said. He took hold of Aizawa’s hand and continued, “Shuichi is my partner, both professionally and romantically.” </p><p>“I see,” Takiyama said. “So I guess you figured out who you are.” </p><p>“Yes I did,” Matsuda said and he sounded a bit upset. “On my own. Without anyone else pressuring me.” </p><p>Aizawa listened silently. He had no idea what this exchange was all about. </p><p>“I thought you would come find me once you were ready. That’s what you said.” </p><p>“No, that’s what <i>you</i> wanted,” Matsuda was now starting to sound defensive and angry. “You asked me to do that, but I never said that I would. I didn’t <i>want</i> to.” </p><p>“Touta, how can you say that?” Takiyama took Matsuda’s other hand and actually pulled him away from Aizawa. “We had a great time together that summer. We had a lot of fun.” He put his other hand on Matsuda’s shoulder and moved closer to him, he almost seemed like he was about to kiss Matsuda. Aizawa saw Matsuda lean back away from him as much as he could. Meanwhile, Aizawa himself was seething. Who the hell did this guy think he was? And couldn't he tell that Matsuda wasn't interested in him anymore?</p><p>“I never really got over you, Touta,” Takiyama said. “I think about you all the time. I always thought we would end up together. And now, we’ve been given a second chance.” </p><p>Matsuda reached up and removed Takiyama’s hand from his shoulder. Takiyama’s other hand still held onto Matsuda’s. Matsuda yanked it free and came back over to Aizawa. </p><p>“We haven’t been given a second chance, Satoshi,” Matsuda said. “You and I don’t get a second chance. I’m with Aizawa now. Who, by the way, you are being <i>very</i> disrespectful toward. And I've got to tell you, I do not appreciate that. I love him. And I would never leave him for you, nor for anyone else.” </p><p>Takiyama said something in return, but Aizawa didn't really hear it. Instead, he was focused on something that Matsuda had just said. </p><p>It was the first time that Aizawa had heard Matsuda say that he loved him. They had now been together for four months, but they had never said it to each other yet. Though Aizawa could not deny that he loved Matsuda. He had never said it though, for fear of Matsuda not feeling the same way. </p><p>And even now, he wondered if Matsuda meant it, or if he was just saying it in the hopes that Takiyama would then leave him alone.</p><p>“I understand of course,” Takiyama said. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and took something from it. He held this out toward Matsuda. “Here. Take this.” </p><p>“What is it?” Matsuda asked, sounding as if he didn’t really care what the answer was. </p><p>“My business card, but my cell number is on here,” Takiyama said. “Just call me sometime.” </p><p>“No. And I don’t want your card either.” </p><p>Takiyama took Matsuda’s hand, placed his business card in his palm, and folded Matsuda’s fingers over it. “Take it. In case you change your mind.” </p><p>Takiyama left his hand on Matsuda’s for a few seconds after this, until he caught Aizawa glaring at him. </p><p>“I think you’d better go,” Aizawa told him coldly. </p><p>“Right. Of course. I’m leaving.” Takiyama turned to Matsuda once more. “Give me a call. We’ll meet for coffee or something. Just to talk, of course.” </p><p>Takiyama finally took his leave. Aizawa looked over at Matsuda; he seemed a bit troubled by this encounter. He didn’t watch Takiyama leave, he hadn't even moved. He stood there, his hand folded around Takiyama’s business card, and looked like he was in deep thought. </p><p>“Tou-chan?” Aizawa said. Matsuda did not even hear him. “Tou-chan.” </p><p>Matsuda started and looked over at him. </p><p>“Are you okay?” Aizawa asked him. </p><p>“Yeah. I-I’ll be alright.” </p><p>“So...that Takiyama guy,” Aizawa said. “I’m guessing he’s an ex-boyfr-” </p><p>“I don’t want to talk about him,” Matsuda quietly interrupted. </p><p>“Oh, okay. Sure. I can respect that,” Aizawa said. “But if you decide that you do want to talk about him, I’m willing to listen.” </p><p>Matsuda nodded, but didn’t say anything. </p><p>Aizawa wondered what it was about Takiyama that affected Matsuda in such a way. But he didn’t want to push Matsuda for more information, when he didn’t want to talk about it. When he was ready, Matsuda would bring it up. </p><p>Aizawa also wanted to ask if Matsuda had meant it when he said that he loved Aizawa. But now didn't seem like the best time to bring up that subject either. </p><p>They made their way back to the patrol car and got inside. Prior to lunch, they had been working their way through a list of witnesses. Aizawa pulled out the list and looked at who the next person was. He pointed out the next name, but Matsuda didn’t really look up. “This man here is next on our list. Should we head over to his place? It’s actually not too far from here.” </p><p>“He was the first <i>guy</i> I ever liked,” Matsuda said suddenly. </p><p>Aizawa had just put the key into the ignition. He stopped and turned to Matsuda, quietly waiting for him to continue. </p><p>“Or I guess I should say that Satoshi is the first guy that I <i>allowed</i> myself to like.” Matsuda paused for a few seconds before continuing. “When I was in high school, there were a couple of boys that I had crushes on, but I was more confused by it, and a little scared to feel that way. I liked girls, too, so in high school, I only dated girls. I was already bullied enough as it was. The last thing I needed the other kids to know was that I liked boys, too.” </p><p>“You were bullied in high school?” Aizawa never knew about that. </p><p>“High school, grade school, middle school...yeah.” </p><p>“I had no idea, Tou-chan. I’m so sorry you went through that.” </p><p>“It was tough, but it’s what inspired me to be a police officer,” Matsuda said. “Anyway, as I was saying, I met Satoshi in college. We became fast friends and we had a lot in common. We liked the same music, the same movies, you know, that kind of thing. Then one day, about one week before summer break, he tells me that he likes me.” </p><p>“Were you surprised?” Aizawa asked. </p><p>“Kind of,” Matsuda said. “I knew he was gay, he had told me that early on. So that part didn’t surprise me. But I never knew that he had any feelings for me. The thing is, he followed up by saying, ‘I know you like me, too.’” </p><p>“You did. Didn’t you?” </p><p>“I did. Or I <i>thought</i> I did. I wasn’t sure.” Matsuda hesitated a bit. “We did date during that summer. And we did have fun. I can’t really say that I ever fell in love with him, but I cared deeply about him. He meant a lot to me. Satoshi was the first guy that I ever went out with. And the first guy I ever kissed.” </p><p>“Did you two…?” Aizawa asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer or not. </p><p>“What?” Matsuda asked. Then he seemed to realize what Aizawa was getting at. “Oh, that! No, we didn't. Not that Satoshi would have minded though.” </p><p>Matsuda paused. “That was the problem. All of this was still new to me. I told Satoshi that I wanted to take it slow because I was still trying to work out exactly who I was and what I wanted. He was okay with that at first and everything seemed great. After awhile though, he got impatient.”  </p><p>“How do you mean?” </p><p>“He started to constantly put pressure on me to sleep with him,” Matsuda said. “This was my first relationship with another guy and I was still trying to figure things out.  He was already falling for me and I just wasn’t there yet. I kept telling him that I wasn’t ready to take our relationship to that level, but he didn’t want to wait. He never tried to force me into anything, but he was persistent.” </p><p>Matsuda paused again, before continuing. “Don’t get me wrong. He's a great guy, and I really enjoyed the time we had together. We didn’t have any problems otherwise. But he began to constantly ask me if I was ready. It got to the point where I couldn’t even fully enjoy being with him sometimes. We just weren't on the same page anymore when it came to our relationship. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and I knew that I had to end things with him. I still debated with myself for a couple of weeks. A part of me really didn't want to break up with him, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt him, but I knew that staying together wasn’t going to be good for either of us in the long run. I really couldn’t see us having a future together.” </p><p>“So what happened?” </p><p>“I broke it off. I had to. For my own sanity.” Matsuda sighed. “I could tell that it really hurt Satoshi when I broke up with him though. And I felt bad about it too, but I--what other choice did I have? And now he’s telling me that all these years later, he <i>still</i> hasn’t gotten over that?”  </p><p>“He hasn’t gotten over <i>you</i>,” Aizawa said. He hesitated before saying the next part, because it made him jealous to even think about it. “I hate to admit this, Tou-chan, but I think that Takiyama is still in love with you.” </p><p>“You noticed that too, huh? Then again, he wasn’t exactly hiding it.”  </p><p>“No he wasn’t,” Aizawa muttered. “The way he hugged you, looked at you, and kept trying to hold your hand.” </p><p>Aizawa felt anger and jealousy brimming at the surface. It must have shown, because he felt Matsuda’s hand on top of his own and looked over at him.  </p><p>“Shichi,” he said quietly., “please tell me you’re not worried about this. Even if Satoshi is still in love with me, I don’t feel anything toward him. You know that, right?” </p><p>“I’m not worried about it,” Aizawa said truthfully. The envy he had been feeling began to melt away at Matsuda’s words. “Tou-chan, I trust you. It was just hard to see another man so openly show such affection toward you.” </p><p>“That made me so angry, how disrespectful he was of you," Matsuda said. "That's why I had to confront him about it. I mean, you’re my boyfriend and you’re standing right there beside me. But he just kept touching me and hugging me, and saying all these things about how he wants us to get back together. Right in front of you. It was like you didn’t even matter. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, Shichi. Not by anyone, and certainly not by him.” </p><p>“Tou-chan...” </p><p>“Hopefully he got the hint and I won’t have to see him again,” Matsuda said. Then he quietly added, “I’ve never told anyone about Satoshi, because I don’t really like talking about him or our relationship. I <i>wanted</i> you to know, but everyone else…” </p><p>“I understand,” Aizawa said. “I won’t tell them anything if you don’t want me to.” </p><p>Matsuda smiled. “Thanks, Shichi.” </p><p>“No problem,” Aizawa said. “So, are you alright?” </p><p>“Yeah. I am now.” </p><p>"Then, can I ask you about something else?" </p><p>"Sure."</p><p>Aizawa hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to address this. </p><p>"When you were talking to Takiyama, you told him that you love me," Aizawa said. </p><p>"Right...I did say that." Matsuda paused. He seemed unsure about what to say next. "Well, I wanted Satoshi to leave me alone. So I thought if I said that, then maybe he would." </p><p>"Oh. I--I see," Aizawa said, trying not to show how much it hurt him to hear this. </p><p>"And I also said it, because it's true," Matsuda added. </p><p>He slowly turned to Aizawa and he looked anxious as to what Aizawa's response would be. </p><p>Aizawa could not believe it. "It is?" </p><p>Matsuda nodded. "Yeah. I love you, Shichi. And I've felt this way for about a month now. But I was afraid to say it. Now that I have, if you want me to get out of the car and walk back to headquarters, I won't blame you." </p><p>"If I made you leave, then how could I tell you that I love you, too?" </p><p>Matsuda smiled. "You do?" </p><p>Aizawa reached over and took Matsuda's hand. "I love you, Tou-chan." </p><p>As they were in a marked patrol car, Aizawa glanced around to see if anyone was nearby. The coast clear, he leaned in and very briefly kissed Matsuda. Having just stated their love for each other, Aizawa wanted to kiss Matsuda more passionately. In fact, he wanted to do more than just kiss the younger man. But they were on duty and they were seated in what was clearly a police vehicle. So instead, he kissed Matsuda, letting it linger only a few seconds, before pulling away. </p><p>Aizawa noticed that Matsuda was blushing slightly when they broke apart. It was so hot and adorable at the same time, that Aizawa had to look away before he did something that would get both of them fired. </p><p>Instead, he grudgingly forced himself to focus on their list of witnesses. He smiled and said, “What do you say we actually get some work done now?”  </p><p>Matsuda laughed. “That might be a good idea.” </p><p>Aizawa started the car and headed for the next witness’s house. As he drove though, Aizawa thought over everything Matsuda had told him about Takiyama and the bullying he faced in school. He had learned more about Matsuda and the struggles he had faced.  </p><p>He had also been touched by the things that Matsuda had said about Aizawa when he was talking to Takiyama. And by Matsuda’s anger toward Takiyama for being so disrespectful of Aizawa. But the best thing was finding out that Matsuda loved him just as much as Aizawa loved Matsuda. </p><p>And it was because of this that Aizawa could not stop smiling.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Removal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>L kicks Matsuda off of the Task Force, causing Aizawa to voluntarily quit. When the two of them go to talk to someone who has supposedly seen Kira, Aizawa and Matsuda find themselves in a very dangerous situation.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for your patience, everyone. I apologize for the long break between posts. Between having major issues with my computer lately and life getting in the way, I haven’t been able to update. It’ll be back to normal after this, I promise.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aizawa was waiting outside for Matsuda to join him. They had been asked to interview a couple of witnesses who reportedly knew who Kira was. Though neither he nor Matsuda were expecting these claims to be credible. Just before leaving, L had asked to speak to Matsuda privately. </p>
<p>A few minutes more and Matsuda walked out. </p>
<p>“You ready to go, Tou-chan?” Aizawa asked him. </p>
<p>Matsuda looked at him, and Aizawa could tell that something had happened. “I can’t.” </p>
<p>“What do you mean you can’t?” Aizawa asked him. He walked over and put a hand on Matsuda’s shoulder. “Tou-chan, what’s the matter?” </p>
<p>“Ryuzaki just kicked me off the Task Force,” Matsuda said quietly. </p>
<p>Aizawa’s anger instantly rose to the surface. “What?” </p>
<p>“Apparently, I’m not contributing enough to the team. He said that I’m the only one who hasn’t done anything to help them close in on Kira,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>Aizawa had never felt so angry in all his life. It wasn’t true for one thing. Matsuda <i>did</i> contribute to the Task Force and he had done useful things to help them find Kira. If Matsuda was lacking in this at all, it was because L did not give him the opportunity to help. He never trusted Matsuda with any larger or more important aspects of the investigation. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to leave, Shichi,” Matsuda said. He sounded so hurt and saddened that it pained Aizawa to hear him like this. “I enjoy being on the Task Force, working with you, and with the Chief, Mogi and Ide. I know I could do more.” </p>
<p>“Wait here,” he told Matsuda. “Don’t leave.” </p>
<p>Aizawa stormed back inside. L was crouched in his chair, watching the monitors. </p>
<p>“Ryuzaki!” Aizawa shouted. “What the hell do you mean in kicking Matsuda off of the Task Force?” </p>
<p>“Mr. Aizawa,” L said. It angered Aizawa even more that L was so calm. “I figured you would have something to say about this.” </p>
<p>“You’re damn right I have something to say about it,” Aizawa replied. “In fact I have a few things that I want to say about it!” </p>
<p>“I suppose you think that Matsuda still deserves to be a member of this Task Force,” L said. “But your personal feelings for Matsuda are obviously playing a part in this, too.” </p>
<p>“Matsu is an integral part of this team and that’s something that I saw long before I had any kinds of feelings for him,” Aizawa said truthfully. </p>
<p>“He’s not as integral as you think, Mr. Aizawa,” L said. </p>
<p>“You still had no right to kick Matsu off of the Task Force!” Aizawa exclaimed. </p>
<p>“What’s that?” Unbeknownst to either Aizawa or L, Soichiro had just walked in. “Ryuzaki, is this true? You kicked Matsuda off of the team?” </p>
<p>“He left me no choice, Mr. Yagami,” L said. </p>
<p>“As Aizawa said, you had no right,” Soichiro said. “You could have at least issued him a warning first.” </p>
<p>“And I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one who has a problem with this,” Aizawa said.</p>
<p>“I agree,” L said. “In fact, I’m most certain that I’m the only one who wants Mr. Matsuda off the team.” </p>
<p>“Then what the hell?” Aizawa said. “You just do what works best for you as opposed to what works best for the team as a whole?” </p>
<p>“Ryuzaki,” Soichiro began, “I cannot condone this. You need to bring Matsuda back onto this team at once. Hell, I’ll do it myself. Where is he? Did he go home?” </p>
<p>“He’s right outside, Chief. But just a minute,” Aizawa told him. He turned to L and said, “I have another condition to add to this. Not only do you bring Matsu back onto the team, but you give him important work to do. Entrust him with some big assignments. Something more than getting your coffee for you.” </p>
<p>I agree with that," Soichiro said. </p>
<p>“Mr. Matsuda is not capable of handling such tasks without screwing them up,” L said. </p>
<p>“That’s it,” Soichiro said, as he headed for the door. “I’m going to go talk to him.” </p>
<p>“Alright then, Ryuzaki. Since it’s your way or the highway, I choose the latter,” Aizawa said. “If you refuse to bring Matsu back, then I’m quitting the Task Force. Matsu and I will continue to hunt for Kira on our own.” </p>
<p>“We can use <i>your</i> help, Aizawa,” L said. “You <i>are</i> important to this team, you're passionate about finding Kira, and you take your work seriously.” </p>
<p>“The same can be said for Matsuda!” Aizawa exclaimed. </p>
<p>“Mr. Matsuda is not smart enough to—” L began. </p>
<p>“You don’t want to finish that sentence, Ryuzaki,” Aizawa warned him. “I know that you think Matsuda is an idiot, but he’s a hell of a lot smarter than you ever give him credit for. And what about all of the help that he’s been on this investigation?”</p>
<p>“All Mr. Matsuda has done is hinder this investigation.” </p>
<p>“He’s an excellent detective,” Aizawa replied. Everything that L said only fed Aizawa’s anger. And no matter what positive thing he had to say about Matsuda, it was promptly shot down by L, with something as equally negative. </p>
<p>Sure, Aizawa loved Matsuda and cared deeply about him, but that wasn’t what was leading Aizawa to defend Matsuda at the moment. Of course, it angered Aizawa to hear L talk like this about someone that meant so much to him. But personal feelings aside, Aizawa knew that Matsuda was serious about his job, even if he did not always seem like he was. He wanted to catch Kira as much as the rest of them did. L just never offered Matsuda the opportunity to help them. </p>
<p>That had been the only reason why Matsuda had snuck into Yotsuba to begin with. </p>
<p>“What about Matsuda’s mission at the Yotsuba Group?” Aizawa asked. </p>
<p>“Mr. Aizawa, if you’re trying to make a case <i>for</i> Matsuda, you may want to stay clear of that topic,” L said. “That was another reason that I removed Matsuda from the team. We can’t have him going on unauthorized investigations whenever he feels like it.” </p>
<p>“The only reason he did that in the first place, is because you never gave him any <i>authorized</i> investigations to go on,” Aizawa told him. “But that wasn’t my point.” </p>
<p>“Then what is your point, Mr. Aizawa?” </p>
<p>“By infiltrating the Yotsuba Group, Matsuda provided us a big break in this case,” Aizawa said. “He was able to confirm for us that Kira was indeed a part of Yotsuba. Which later allowed us to narrow it down to Higuchi. If Matsuda had not done that, it’s quite possible we still wouldn’t have solid leads on the Kira case at all.” </p>
<p>“You don’t realize the carelessness he displayed by going off on his own like that,” L said. “Matsuda could have well been killed.” </p>
<p>“A part of me thinks that you wouldn’t have cared if Matsuda had died that night,” Aizawa told him. </p>
<p>“It’s not that I don’t care about Matsuda, Mr. Aizawa,” L said. “If I had wanted Matsuda to die that night, I wouldn’t have helped him escape by faking his own death.” </p>
<p>“You expect me to believe that you care about Matsuda?” </p>
<p>“I care about everyone on this team,” L said. </p>
<p>“I’ll say this one more time, Ryuzaki,” Aizawa told him. “Let Matsu back on the team, or I’m leaving this Task Force myself.” </p>
<p>“Please consider staying, Mr. Aizawa,” L said. “We’re already short-handed as it is. We need all the help we can get.” </p>
<p>“Yet, you’re willing to get rid of Matsu,” Aizawa said. “And might I point out that if you let him go, then you’re actually losing two people, because I refuse to stay on this team without Matsu and I refuse to work with someone who thinks so little of him.” </p>
<p>“I cannot risk this investigation by having someone as incompetant as Matsuda working on it,” L said. </p>
<p>“Ryuzaki, I swear if you make one more remark about Matsuda’s intelligence…”</p>
<p>L interrupted him. “I don’t wish to fight you over this, Mr. Aizawa. If I were to keep Mr. Matsuda on this team, and he did another unauthorized mission like that with Yotsuba, he could very well die, but also, he could blow our entire operation.” </p>
<p>To Aizawa, it sounded like L was more concerned about the investigation being found out than he was about Matsuda’s safety. </p>
<p>“We’re fortunate that Matsu had the foresight, bravery, and <i>intelligence</i> to look into Yotsuba on his own,” Aizawa said. "And he wouldn't have done that in the first place, if he didn't feel completely useless as a part of the investigative team.” </p>
<p>“He could have ruined everything, Mr. Aizawa,” L said. </p>
<p>“You’re unbelievable, Ryuzaki,” Aizawa said. “Matsuda may have gone to Yotsuba on his own accord, but you would never have allowed him to go there on his own if he had asked you, and you know it. Not only that, if Matsuda had told you about his idea, you probably would have sent someone else to do the exact thing that Matsu was able to achieve. On top of that, Matsuda provided us with a huge crack in the Kira case, but all you can see is that he didn’t do what <i>you</i> wanted him to do.” </p>
<p>“Mr. Matsuda should have never—” </p>
<p>Aizawa stopped him. “I don’t want to hear it, Ryuzaki. You can’t seem to find anything positive to say about Matsuda, and you don’t even consider him smart enough to be a part of this team. I can see that you’re not going to allow Matsu back onto the Task Force. As I said, if that’s the case, then I’m quitting as well. Besides, I can’t work with anyone who is so disrespectful of someone that I care about so much.” </p>
<p>Aizawa turned to leave and was surprised to see that Matsuda and Soichiro had come back in at some point. </p>
<p>“Touta, I…” </p>
<p>Matsuda smiled at him. “I heard. Thank you, Shichi.” </p>
<p>Aizawa took Matsuda’s hand. “Anytime. Come on, let’s go.” </p>
<p>“Just a minute,” Matsuda replied. “I have something that I want to say to Ryuzaki.” </p>
<p>Matsuda walked up to Ryuzaki. Without turning around, the latter asked him, “Yes, Mr. Matsuda?” </p>
<p>“I would just like to point out that <i>I</i> was one of the few people who decided to stay and fight with you, when more than half of the police force quit because they were too afraid to face Kira,” Matsuda began. “<i>I</i> was one of the few who trusted you and wanted to help you catch him. I’ve done everything I can to prove to you that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help out. No. That I’m <i>able</i> to do whatever it takes. But no matter what, you always expect me to screw it up. So even when I do something right, you can only see the downside to everything that I do.” </p>
<p>Aizawa was surprised by how direct Matsuda was being with L. Matsuda was not a pushover by any means, but he usually avoided confrontation like this whenever he could. It wasn’t that he could not stand up for himself, more like he just chose not to do so if he did not think it was necessary. But there was also the fact that Matsuda always held such a high respect for L that made the scene taking place before Aizawa even more startling. He had never really seen Matsuda angry or straightforward like this. But Matsuda could see what Ryuzaki thought of him, and he refused to take that anymore. Aizawa could not help but feel proud of Matsuda at the moment. And truth be told, seeing Matsuda like this was also a bit of a turn-on. </p>
<p>The Chief leaned in toward Aizawa and said, “I think some of your personality is beginning to rub off of Matsuda.” </p>
<p>“Now I’m sorry that I went against you and infiltrated Yotsuba on my own,” Matsuda continued. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but I’m glad that I did. And even then, all you can see is that ‘Matsuda the idiot’ didn’t follow your orders and nearly blew the entire mission. I willingly put my life on the line to work with you on this case, but I don’t want to risk my life for someone who doesn’t even have one shred of respect for me. You want me off the team? Then that’s fine. I don’t want to be on the same team as you anymore anyway.” </p>
<p>With that, he turned around and came back to where Aizawa and the Chief stood. He turned to Soichiro and said, “Thank you for everything, Chief. I’m sorry about this.” </p>
<p>The Chief gave him a wry smile and said, “It’s alright. I understand why you have to do this. I understand your reasoning, too, Aizawa. Don’t worry about it.” </p>
<p>“Let’s go, Shichi,” Matsuda said, turning for the exit. </p>
<p>Aizawa followed him out of the building and Matsuda nearly collapsed against the nearby wall. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Aizawa asked him. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m...I’ve just never done anything like that before,” Matsuda said. He seemed to be shaking slightly, too. Aizawa embraced him. “You know, I was out here talking to the Chief and I started telling him everything that I said to Ryuzaki right now. I almost decided not to do it, but I had to.” He smiled and added, “And then I walked back in, only to hear you defending me.” </p>
<p>“Exactly how much of that did you hear?” Aizawa asked him. </p>
<p>“I came in right as you told Ryuzaki that he never would have let me go to Yotsuba alone if I had asked him.”</p>
<p>Aizawa thought about this. “You were there that long? Why didn’t you say anything?” </p>
<p>“You were on a roll, and you were defending me. I wasn’t going to stop that,” Matsuda said lightly. “I do appreciate it though.” </p>
<p>Aizawa put an arm around Matsuda, pulled him close, and kissed him. “I’ll always be there for you, Tou-chan. But you know, I’m proud of you for standing up to Ryuzaki like you did. That was impressive.” </p>
<p>“I still can’t believe that I did that,” Matsuda said. “So, I guess you and I are kind of on our own with the Kira case now. You didn’t have to leave just because I got kicked out.” </p>
<p>“Are you kidding? I don’t want to work on this case without you and I can’t work with Ryuzaki after everything he said about you.” Aizawa paused and turned to the reports that he still held in his hands. “We were going to go talk to those two witnesses. Should we start with that?” </p>
<p>“Sounds good to me.” </p>
<p>They got in the car and Aizawa drove them to the first witness’s house. For some reason, a weird feeling about this place came over Aizawa as he parked. </p>
<p>Matsuda seemed to feel the same way. “I don’t know why, but I have a bad feeling about this.” </p>
<p>They slowly got out of the car and started up the driveway to the front door. Suddenly, the front door flew open and a man matching the witness’s description came bursting through. He held a gun in his hands and aimed it at the two of them. </p>
<p>Aizawa instinctively reached for his weapon and he saw Matsuda do the same.</p>
<p>“Pull a gun on me and I’ll shoot both of you!” the man shouted. </p>
<p>Aizawa and Matsuda both froze. Matsuda pulled away from his gun, but Aizawa did not. The man trained his gun on Aizawa. “I mean it! I’ll shoot you!” </p>
<p>Aizawa withdrew from his gun, too. “Listen, we don’t want any trouble. We’re detectives. You asked to speak to us because you said you know where Kira is.” </p>
<p>“I know you’re detectives.” </p>
<p>“Then why are you trying to shoot us?” Matsuda asked. “All we want to do is talk to you.” </p>
<p>“I made that call on purpose to get someone from the police force out here,” the man said. “You’re all trying to catch our god, Kira. And I’ll kill anyone who tries to harm him. I lured two detectives out here so that I can take you hostage and then kill both of you. I'll show the world what happens when someone defies Kira!”</p>
<p><i>He’s a manianical Kira worshipper like those nuts on Sakura TV,</i>” Aizawa thought to himself. <i>Damn it. We walked right into this one. </i></p>
<p>“Lower your gun,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“Why? So you can shoot me? I don’t think so.” </p>
<p>“We’re not going to shoot you,” Matsuda told him. “But please, put the gun down.” </p>
<p>In response, the guy gave an incoherent shout and rushed at Matsuda. Before Aizawa could register what was happening, the guy had grabbed Matsuda, and was pressing his gun against Matsuda’s head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Rescue Mission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aizawa is taken hostage by the witness that he and Matsuda had gone to interview. Matsuda returns to the Task Force headquarters so they can try to rescue Aizawa before it's too late. Matsuda proves how valuable he really is to the Task Force, and L decides to put him in charge of a new phase of the Kira investigation.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matsuda froze the second he felt the cold steel of the gun against his skull. He had to stay as calm as possible, though. He could tell that the slightest thing would set this man off. One thing he knew for sure: those who supported Kira were passionate about protecting their so-called “savior”. </p><p>“Let him go!” Aizawa demanded. </p><p>Aizawa began hurrying toward the gunman, but he pressed the gun closer to Matsuda’s head. “Stop! Come any closer and I’ll blow his head off!” </p><p>Aizawa stopped in his tracks and put his hands up. “Alright. I won’t come any closer, but please, just let him go. Please.” </p><p>Matsuda could hear the urgency in Aizawa’s voice. Matsuda also knew that if he was in danger, then Aizawa would not care what happened to himself, he would be solely focused on saving Matsuda. Despite having a gun against his head, Matsuda was equally worried about Aizawa. He would probably be willing to do anything to save Matsuda, but this meant that Matsuda could possibly see Aizawa get killed right before his eyes. </p><p>“Why the hell should I do that?” the man asked. </p><p>“Look, you only need one hostage, right?” Aizawa began. </p><p>Wherever Aizawa was going with this, Matsuda did not like the sound of it. </p><p>“What the hell’s your point?” </p><p>“That you only need one of us to set an example,” Aizawa said. “Let him go and take me instead.” </p><p>“Shichi, no!” Matsuda shouted. </p><p>“Shut up!” the gunman said, jamming the gun so hard against Matsuda’s head that it hurt. “You should let your partner there do what he wants. It means that you get to live a little longer.” </p><p>“So, do we have a deal?” Aizawa said. </p><p>The man hesitated, but then backed away from Matsuda. “Yeah, we got a deal.” </p><p>“Let me talk to him first?” Aizawa said. </p><p>The man nodded and Matsuda hurried over to Aizawa. “I won’t let you do this, Shichi. If he takes one of us, then he takes both of us.” </p><p>“I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt...or worse,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“And you think I want <i>you</i> to get hurt?” Matsuda exclaimed. “This man wants to kill you.” </p><p>“I know that,” Aizawa said. “And I’d much rather he kill me than you.” </p><p>“Shichi, no,” Matsuda said, struggling to hold back tears. “He’ll have to take both of us hostage.” </p><p>Aizawa took hold of Matsuda's hands. “You have a chance to get away, Tou-chan. I want you to take it.” </p><p>“And leave you here to die?” </p><p>“Go. While there's still time for you to get out of here,” Aizawa said. The way and manner in which Aizawa was speaking, Matsuda could tell that he had already resigned himself to this fate. </p><p>“Shichi…” </p><p>“Go, Tou-chan.” Aizawa leaned in and kissed him. “I love you.” </p><p>Matsuda couldn't stand it. To Matsuda, it sounded like Aizawa was saying goodbye to him. </p><p>He loved Aizawa, too, but he refused to say it back at the moment. He would not say goodbye to Aizawa. Not yet. Not if he could still do something to save him. </p><p>“I’ll go,” Matsuda said. “But only to get help.” </p><p>“Whoever you get, they won’t be here in time.” </p><p>“I have to try,” Matsuda said, and he could not hold back the few tears that left his eyes. “You’re risking your life for mine. I’m doing what I can to save you.” </p><p>“Alright! You’ve had enough time!” the gunman said. He indicated Matsuda and said, “Get out of here already. Before I change my mind.” </p><p>Matsuda only had time to trade glances with Aizawa before he was forced to turn and leave, when the gunman started threatening him. He couldn’t let this man kill him or there would be no one left to help Aizawa. No one would even know he was in danger. </p><p>Matsuda jumped in the car and sped away as the rest of the tears he had been containing now flowed freely, blurring his vision. He wiped them away with one hand as he drove to the only place he could think of. </p><p>Thankfully, the Task Force Headquarters were not too far from the witness’s house, but it still seemed to Matsuda like it took him hours to get there. </p><p>He may have been kicked off the Task Force, and Aizawa had voluntarily quit, but the Chief, Ide, and Mogi, were still their friends and still officers themselves. He knew they would want to help Aizawa. </p><p>Matsuda parked in front of the building and ran inside. He could tell that he startled the others by bursting through the door. L and Mogi were each seated at a computer, while Light, Ide, and the Chief looked as if they had been reading over a report together before Matsuda entered. </p><p>“Matsuda!” the Chief said. He hurried over and asked him, “What’s wrong?” </p><p>“Aizawa!” It was all Matsuda could manage at the moment. He stopped to compose himself a bit before adding, “The witness we went to talk to. He’s a Kira supporter and he’s taken Aizawa hostage. We don’t have much time.” </p><p>By now, L and Mogi were listening to the situation, too. </p><p>“Damn it!” Ide exclaimed. “How do you know he supports Kira?” </p><p>"That's right," the Chief asked. “He could just have some personal grudge against the police. Either way, we’ll save Aizawa, but we have to know what we’re dealing with first.” </p><p>“The suspect supports Kira,” Matsuda said. “He was going to take both of us. When he threatened to kill me, Aizawa…” Matsuda got choked up at the recollection of this part. “Aiza told him to let me go and take him as the hostage. The gunman said that he wants to set an example for others. What will happen to anyone who goes against Kira.” </p><p>Just then, L’s monitor beeped and Watari’s monogram symbol appeared on the screen. </p><p>“Ryuzaki,” Watari’s voice said, “I’ve just heard about something on Sakura TV that I think you should see.” </p><p>Mogi turned on the TV and they all gathered around it.</p><p>“...and we’ve been instructed by the gunman to show you the footage he sent to us of the hostage,” the newswoman was reporting. “He won’t tell us where he’s located or what he wants in exchange, but he has told us that if we don’t comply with these demands he will kill the hostage.” </p><p>The footage changed to a scene that frightened Matsuda to his very core. At the same time, it enraged him, too. </p><p>The gunman was shooting the video with his phone and Aizawa could clearly be seen kneeling on the floor, his hands tied behind his back. The gun was also in the picture, aimed at Aizawa’s head. A television in the corner of the room was tuned to Sakura TV. </p><p>“Shichi…” Matsuda whispered. He couldn’t stand it. They had to do something and they had to do it fast. </p><p>“Don’t worry, Matsuda,” the Chief said. “We’ll save Aizawa before anything happens to him.” </p><p>“I have an idea of what we could do,” L said. </p><p>Matsuda knew he should be grateful for L’s assistance and knew that whatever plan he had, it was bound to be a brilliant one. But he was still angry with L for all that had transpired earlier. Yet, Matsuda took a deep breath and set aside the anger he felt for L. “What’s your plan?” </p><p>“This man supports Kira, correct?” L said. </p><p>Matsuda saw where L was going with this. “Which means...that he would probably listen to Kira.”</p><p>L seemed surprised, but then said, “For once, my mind and Matsuda’s are on the same track.” </p><p>“I don’t understand,” Mogi said. </p><p>“Neither do I,” Ide put in. “How does this help Aizawa?” </p><p>L looked like he was about to explain, but Matsuda didn’t let him. </p><p>“If this man supports Kira, then he will do anything that Kira tells him, too. Hopefully. We'll send a message to Sakura TV and say that it’s from Kira. We'll tell him that he wants to say something to the gunman directly. Kira usually only kills criminals, right? And if he tells the gunman not to harm police officers, hopefully, he will do what Kira says and let Aizawa go.” </p><p>“I’m impressed, Matsuda,” L said. “I actually couldn’t have said it better myself.” </p><p>“And we’ll have special forces waiting outside,” the Chief said. “Once we’re sure Aizawa’s out of harm’s way, they can storm the house and apprehend the suspect.” </p><p>“Light,” L said, “do you think you could draft and  record another message from Kira like you did before? Quickly. And Mr. Mogi, once Light has finished, I want you to hurry to Sakura TV and give them the tape. But tell them that it was dropped off at the Task Force headquarters, otherwise, it might cast suspicion on you as being Kira.” </p><p>Mogi agreed and Light hurried off to record a fake message from Kira. </p><p>“Ryuzaki, please,” Matsuda said. “I have to do something. This is Aizawa, please let me help him!” </p><p>“I cannot allow that, Matsuda,” L said. When Matsuda was about to protest, L held up a hand to stop him. “Not because I think you’re unable to handle it, but because it’s dangerous to allow anyone other than the special forces to deal with this. I cannot let anyone from the Task Force near the scene as they would all be in danger. And I can't let you be directly involved either. If we let you do anything where the gunman could see you, he would recognize you. On top of that, if we let him know that you notified the police, he will certainly kill Aizawa. You did the right thing in coming here, but you need to lay low now. I’m doing this, not to hinder you, but to keep you and everyone else safe.” </p><p>Matsuda quieted down and turned back to the TV. The gunman was ranting about “the great god Kira” while keeping the gun trained on Aizawa. Matsuda knew that L was right, and he was certainly not going to do anything to endanger Aizawa any further. He felt his anger toward L melting away, too. He could have chosen not to help, and honestly, before arriving there, Matsuda wasn’t sure that he would. Not only was L helping Matsuda save Aizawa, though, he also was genuinely concerned for Matsuda’s safety as well as everyone else’s. </p><p>“I have the message ready,” Light said. “And I’ve already recorded it, too.” </p><p>Light handed the tape to Mogi, and without a word, Mogi hurried out the door. Matsuda knew that Sakura TV was a very short drive from their headquarters, but at the moment, everything felt like it was happening too slowly. </p><p>The Chief immediately got on the phone and called the station, to let them know that a police officer would be there with a message from Kira. After that, he contacted the Special Forces so that they could get ready. </p><p>Mogi returned about ten minutes later, just as the newswoman on TV mentioned breaking news. </p><p>“We have just received a message to the gunman from Kira,” the newswoman said. “We have been asked to play this message so that the suspect can hear it, too.” </p><p>The name “KIRA” loomed onto the screen as Light’s disguised voice addressed the gunman. </p><p>“This is Kira. To the man who is currently holding the police officer as a hostage, I want you to listen to me. I understand that you support me and you are doing this because you believe the police to be my enemy. Please understand, that while I am grateful for your support, I cannot allow you to kill this man. I only kill criminals and your hostage is a man of the law. Even if the police are trying to catch me, this is not the way to handle it. I am asking you to let him go. If you truly support me, you will do as I say and let this man leave your company unharmed.” </p><p>The message came to an end and footage returned to the hostage situation. Both Aizawa and the gunman were looking at the TV in the room. All was silent and still as the gunman seemed to be processing the message he had just heard. </p><p>Matsuda suddenly found it hard to breathe and realized that he was holding his breath. He was tense, nervous, hoping that they would succeed in getting Aizawa out of there. </p><p>“God,” the man muttered softly. Even in the grainy footage and dim lighting, Matsuda was pretty sure he saw Aizawa roll his eyes when the man said this. “If that’s what you command, then I will do as you say.”</p><p>The entire room seemed to let out a sigh of relief, as the man stopped recording and footage returned to the newscaster. </p><p>“We will stay with you until this hostage situation has reached a conclusion,” the newswoman reported.  </p><p>“Mr. Yagami?” L asked. </p><p>“Special Forces are in position,” the Chief reported. </p><p>Matsuda grabbed his keys and headed for the door.</p><p>“Mr. Matsuda, where are you going?” L asked him. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Ryuzaki,” Matsuda said, then he wondered to himself why he was apologizing, “but I have to be there when Aiza comes out. I won’t interact with the gunman and I’ll stay behind the Special Forces. But I’m going there, whether you want me to or not.” </p><p>Without waiting for a response from anyone, Matsuda hurried out to his car and drove to the scene. The Special Forces were arranged around the man’s house. Matsuda parked and hurried over to them. </p><p>“I’m sorry, sir,”one of them said to him. “But this is a dangerous situation, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” </p><p>Matsuda pulled out his badge. “I’m with the police and I’m only here to make sure the hostage is released safely. I’ll stay back here.” </p><p>The Special Forces officer nodded and turned back to the situation. </p><p>A few minutes of silence passed, before one of them said to the other, “Shouldn’t he have come out by now?” </p><p>Matsuda was thinking the same thing and it worried him. <i>The gunman said he was going to release Aizawa right then. It took me about ten minutes to get here, and we’ve been waiting for another five. Aizawa should have been out by now.</i> </p><p>Suddenly, a shot rang out from inside the house. </p><p>“Aizawa!” Matsuda exclaimed. </p><p>“A shot was fired inside the house,” one of the Special Forces said, “we’re going in now!” </p><p>They stormed the house and Matsuda collapsed to his knees on the ground. Tears fell fast from his eyes. The gunman was supposed to let Aizawa go, why shoot him? Why hadn’t their message from Kira worked after all? Did he figure out that it wasn’t really from Kira? </p><p>Right now, the reason didn’t matter to Matsuda. All he could think about was how he could not possibly go on without Aizawa. </p><p>There seemed to be a lot of commotion going on around him, but Matsuda barely took notice of anything. He just stayed there, kneeling upon the ground, crying uncontrollably over losing the one person that he loved and cared about so deeply. He felt someone come up behind him, but he didn’t bother to look up or even try to compose himself. He assumed it was one of the officers, who probably felt like Matsuda was in their way. </p><p>This person knelt down beside him and a familiar voice said, “You sure are emotional today, Tou-chan.” </p><p>Matsuda could not believe it. He whipped around and saw Aizawa there beside him. </p><p>“Shichi! You’re alive!” Without thinking, Matsuda wrapped his arms around Aizawa’s neck and kissed him deeply. Aizawa returned the kiss eagerly. When they broke apart, Matsuda said, “There was a gunshot. I thought he had killed you.” </p><p>“The gunman killed himself,” Aizawa told him. He stood up and helped Matsuda to his feet. </p><p>“He did?” </p><p>Aizawa reached over and gently wiped away some of Matsuda’s fallen tears. “Yeah, for disappointing Kira. He released me and then said that he went against “Lord Kira’s” wishes and that he had to kill himself because of it. I tried to talk him out of it, but in the end, I couldn’t stop him. That's why it took me so long to come out.” </p><p>He paused and said, “How did you get the Special Forces here? Who was helping you?” </p><p>“I went back to headquarters,” Matsuda said, as he and Aizawa walked back to the car. “I didn’t know who else to go to and I knew that, despite everything that had happened, they would still help us. Even L did.” </p><p>“Thank you, Tou-chan,” Aizawa said. “I’m sure I’d be dead right now, if you hadn’t gone to get help from them.” </p><p>Matsuda smiled as he started the car. “I told you I was going to save you.”</p><p>“Yes, you did,” Aizawa agreed. “We’re really going to have to be careful with witnesses now, too. Maybe we should stop going to them. If they have a statement to give, we’ll ask them to come to the station to do so.” </p><p>“I think you’re right,” Matsuda said. “It’s either that, or bring the Special Forces with us everytime we go to talk to a witness.” </p><p>“Hey, where are we going?” Aizawa asked him. </p><p>Matsuda hadn’t even thought about it; he had automatically begun driving back to headquarters. “Task Force headquarters, I guess. We probably should anyway. I know they’ll all want to make sure you’re alright.” </p><p>Matsuda parked, then he and Aizawa walked inside. </p><p>“Thank goodness,” the Chief said. “You’re safe, Aizawa.” </p><p>“We were really worried about you,” Ide said. “After the suspect stopped filming, we didn’t know what was happening.” </p><p>“Where is the suspect?” the Chief asked. “I assume the Special Forces took him in?” </p><p>“Actually, he killed himself shortly after releasing me,” Aizawa told them. </p><p>He then proceeded to explain it to all of them. </p><p>“Another Kira supporter, huh?” Ide said. “They just get bolder and crazier.” </p><p>While they were rescuing Aizawa, Matsuda had still felt like a member of the Task Force. It hurt him to remember that he had been removed. He wanted more than anything to stay on the team. </p><p>“I...I guess I should be leaving now,” Matsuda said quietly. </p><p>“Right behind you,” Aizawa said. </p><p>As Matsuda reached the door, L said, “Just a moment, Matsuda.” </p><p>Matsuda turned around to face him. </p><p>“Perhaps you are valuable to this team after all.” </p><p>“Are you saying I can stay?” Matsuda asked him. </p><p>“Yes, you really proved yourself today,” L replied. “If you’re willing to stay, I am more than willing to let you.” </p><p>“I love being a part of the Task Force,” Matsuda said. “Of course I want to stay.” </p><p>“Ryuzaki,” Aizawa cut in, “if you’ll remember, I had a condition for you to consider regarding Matsu remaining on the Task Force.” </p><p>Matsuda was confused. “What do you mean?” </p><p>“I told Ryuzaki that he should give you something important to do,” Aizawa told him. “You’re capable of a hell of a lot more than getting Ryuzaki’s coffee for him. And I know you want to do more, too,” </p><p>Matsuda was touched by the fact that Aizawa requested such a thing. Matsuda knew that Aizawa believed in him unfailingly, but now he was giving Matsuda a chance to show the others what he could do. </p><p>“I remember,” L said. He picked up a rather thick file and said, “For you, Matsuda.” </p><p>Matsuda took it from him and began flipping through it.  He caught glimpses of handwritten reports, typed reports, witness testimonies, photographs, newspaper clippings, and much more. “What is all of this?” </p><p>“That file contains the latest reports and other important information on the Kira case. None of which have been officially logged or even looked into,” L explained. “It’s the next phase of the investigation. And I want you to lead it, Matsuda.” </p><p>Matsuda could not believe it. “You want <i>me</i> to lead this part of the investigation?” </p><p>“Unless of course you don’t want to.” </p><p>“No, I definitely want to!” Matsuda said eagerly. “Thank you, Ryuzaki. And Chief, you’re okay with this, too?” </p><p>“Yes. In fact, I agreed with Aizawa when he suggested it,” the Chief answered. </p><p>“You can take this investigation in any direction that you see fit,” L said. “Aizawa and the others will help you, but you have the final say in who does what.” </p><p>Matsuda thanked L once again and took a seat on the couch to go through the file. He opened it up to find a lot of important information that was not in any conceivable order. </p><p>Aizawa took a seat beside him. “Do you want some help sorting through all of this?” </p><p>“Yes, thank you,” Matsuda said. “I can’t even start the investigation until I get everything in order.” </p><p>Aizawa took half of the files and began sorting them out, as Matsuda worked on the other half. </p><p>“Thank you for this, Shichi,” Matsuda said. “It really means a lot that you did this for me.” </p><p>“I want everyone else to believe in you the way that I do,” Aizawa said. “I know what you’re capable of and the others need to see that, too.” </p><p>“I just <i>really</i> hope I don’t screw this up,” Matsuda said. “Can you imagine? Ryuzaki finally gives me something big to work on and then I mess it up. He’ll never trust me with anything again if that happens.” </p><p>“Don’t worry about it, Tou-chan. You’re going to do fine.” </p><p>Ide and Mogi soon came in and took a seat on the couch across from them. </p><p>“The Chief said we might be needed to help with the next part of the investigation,” Mogi said. </p><p>“This is all of the information that we have on it so far,” Matsuda said. “We’re trying to organize all of this first, if you guys wouldn’t mind helping.” </p><p>They both immediately pitched in, taking stacks of reports and other info and sorting through it. </p><p>“Who’s in charge of this part of the investigation?” Ide asked. “Is it you, Aizawa?” </p><p>“No, it’s Matsuda.” </p><p>Ide was silent for a moment before asking, “No, really. Who’s in charge of this investigation?”</p><p>“Ide,” Matsuda said, “it’s me.” </p><p>“Oh, okay,” Ide said, clearly surprised. </p><p>“Is there a problem with that, Ide?” Aizawa asked. Matsuda heard the slight anger behind these words. “You don’t think Matsu’s smart enough to lead the investigation?” </p><p>“I didn’t say that.” </p><p>“You implied it,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“I was just surprised, that’s all.” </p><p>“Surprised because you don’t think Matsu’s capable of doing this?” Aizawa asked. </p><p>Aizawa appeared to me more insulted by Ide’s reaction than Matsuda was. In fact, Matsuda was not offended by it at all. He could understand where this was coming from. </p><p>“Shichi, it’s okay,” Matsuda said. “I understand what Ide means. This is the first time I’m leading an investigation. Naturally, he and Mogi would be surprised and a little skeptical.” </p><p>“Right,” Ide said. “I don’t doubt Matsuda  and I’m willing to follow any directions he gives us. So you can stop glaring at me now, Aizawa.” </p><p>They finally got everything sorted out and Matsuda now had a clearer idea of where to begin. He first picked up a two-page list of witnesses, and a small stack of statements from some of them. </p><p>“Ide, why don’t you take these and contact any witnesses that we haven’t spoken to yet,” Matsuda said. “See if they’re willing to give info over the phone. If not, ask them if they would like to make an appointment to do that in person.” </p><p>He handed the newspaper articles to Mogi. “Mogi, I want you to double-check these newspaper reports. Nothing in this file has been verified yet. Find the sources of these articles and verify that it’s legitimate.” </p><p>Next, Matsuda picked up the typed reports and handed them to Aizawa, “Shichi, I'm going to ask you to log in these reports since none of them have been officially entered in the system. I’ll take these handwritten reports, type them out, and then log them as I go.” </p><p>It felt strange to Matsuda to be the one giving orders, but it felt even stranger to have them followed. Everyone immediately got up and began working on whatever Matsuda had assigned them to do. </p><p>Perhaps this would work out in Matsuda’s favor after all. He had the chance to prove that he could be in charge of something without making a mess out of the whole thing. And had it not been for Aizawa, Matsuda may have never been given that chance at all. </p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Close Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Matsuda, with help from the rest of the Task Force, is able to successfully wrap up the investigation that L put him in charge of. </p><p>However, the loss of L soon after, sends the investigation in a new direction as his successors take over for him. In an attempt to get the Death Note back from Mello, the Task Force members are involved in an explosion that lands each of them in the hospital.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The part of this chapter that starts after the first page break, would be where the time skip begins. I'm not going to include the time skip in this story, but I wanted to offer a bit of context. That part is also post Aizawa's haircut, so from that point on, Aizawa has his shorter hair. The Task Force is now working with Near and has to deal with Mello, as well. I do briefly go over the events that happened in the anime.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The case that L had put Matsuda in charge of kept the Task Force busy for the first two weeks of this investigation. A lot of the information they had in that file was inconclusive or incomplete. This meant a lot of double- and triple-checking news reports and other sources, re-interviewing witnesses, and thus, finding new leads to follow.</p><p>Matsuda still felt honored that L had entrusted an entire investigation to him. He was still afraid of causing a major screwup, too. Matsuda figured that if he messed up this investigation, L would never trust him with anything else again. And if this were the case, Matsuda wouldn’t blame him.</p><p>Matsuda also did not want to let Aizawa down. He had been the one to vouch for Matsuda and requested that Ryuzaki give him something important to do. He loved Aizawa and had been touched when Aizawa did this for him.</p><p>Ide and Mogi didn’t question anything that Matsuda asked of them. Of course, if either of them had misgivings, they likely would not say so out of fear of facing Aizawa’s wrath. Still though, Matsuda knew them well enough to tell that they completely trusted him.</p><p>“Hey Matsu,” Aizawa said. “I found something interesting in those reports you asked me to look through. Do you remember Kenchi Yamoto?”</p><p>The name sounded familiar. Matsuda thought it over and suddenly remembered. “The man that we found in that old building a few months ago. Presumably killed by Kira.”</p><p>“It’s not presumably anymore,” Aizawa said. “Remember before the Deputy Director hid the Death Note, we took scans of the pages, so that we could check the names written in there?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Listen to this.” Aizawa drew a paper from the file in front of him and read from it. “Kenchi Yamoto. Heart attack. Using the alias Kenzo Yamashita, he calls the Task Force headquarters. He tells them that he saw Kira in a deserted building and asks to meet with detectives there. After he hangs up, he destroys his phone, hides it, and then dies instantly.”</p><p>Matsuda got up and stood behind Aizawa, reading it himself. “Shichi, this is amazing. That’s the kind of break we needed in this case. Hey, Ide.”</p><p>Ide walked over to them. “What is it?”</p><p>“You took the initial call from the witness who claimed to have seen Kira, where Aiza and I found the body of Kenchi Yamoto,” Matsuda told him. “Do you remember the name of the witness?”</p><p>“Kenzo Yamashita,” Ide said. “But once Yamoto was found, we could never get a hold of him.”</p><p>“Take a look at this,” Aizawa said, handing Ide the paper he had been reading off of.</p><p>Ide quickly read through it. Then appeared to read through it a second time. “I-I don’t believe it. Kenchi Yamoto <i>was</i> Kenzo Yamashita. He was the witness.”</p><p>“And the victim, too, unfortunately,” Matsuda said. “It also explains why Yamashita was suddenly impossible to track down. He never even existed in the first place. Do you still have the witness testimony from Yamashita as well as all other information pertaining to him?”</p><p>“I sure do.”</p><p>“Great. Could you take this copy of the Death Note page, put it with the other files and enter it into the system?” Matsuda asked him.</p><p>“I’ll get right on it,” Ide said.</p><p>Once Ide finished officially logging in all of the information about Yamoto, he brought the file over to Matsuda. Matsuda and the other three put all of their reports, research, and notes organized together into a case file. Matsuda typed up an official report about this entire portion of the investigation, and then presented this now closed case to L. And L actually commended him for doing such a good job.</p><p>Aizawa came up to Matsuda and tightly embraced him. “Good work, Tou-chan. I’m so proud of you.”</p><p>“I never would have had the chance to work on a case like that if it wasn’t for you,” Matsuda said. “Thank you, Shichi.”</p><p>“I just wanted everyone to believe in you as much as I do,” Aizawa siad. “And after this they probably will. At least, they better anyway.”</p><p>*					*					*</p><p>Unfortunately, that case turned out to be the last one for L. Three weeks later, he and Watari were murdered by the Shinigami Rem. Though Aizawa and the others were convinced that Kira had used Rem, and therefore, Kira was really the one behind these murders. </p><p>Watari’s death was published in the newspaper, but they did not publicize L’s death. A private funeral was held for him, attended only by those on the Task Force. The Deputy Director gave a short speech and Light vowed to L that he would find Kira and avenge him. </p><p>They were all saddened by this tragic event, but Matsuda took L’s death especially hard. Of course, Aizawa knew that Matsuda held a lot of respect for L, so he wasn’t especially surprised by this. When they all decided to leave, Light stayed behind, looking down at L’s gravesite. </p><p>Matsuda stopped and looked back at him. “Is Light coming?” </p><p>“Matsuda,” Soichiro said. “Let’s give him some time alone.” </p><p>They all left then. Aizawa heard Matsuda give a sniff and looked over in time to see the tears streaming down his face. </p><p>“Tou-chan.” Aizawa put an arm around him.”I know how hard this is on you.” </p><p>“It is. But I mean, we all miss Ryuzaki. It won’t be the same without him. And it makes me wonder what we’ll do now without him leading the Kira case.” </p><p>That question was answered in the form of two of L's successors: Near and Mello. Near, who was also the head of a new organization known as the SPK, knew that L was dead, yet he did not know that Light Yagami was the new L. For the most part, Near seemed willing to work with the Task Force, almost in the same capacity as L had done. Mello, on the other hand, was causing them more problems than anything else.  </p><p>He had gotten his hands on a notebook and the Task Force was determined to get it back. Kira himself called the Deputy Director and told him that he would be sending them something to help with that. A few days later, they received a Death Note. With this, came a Shinigami named Ryuk, that they all now saw for the very first time. They learned about Shinigami eyes, too.</p><p>They were able to successfully storm Mello’s hideout, but the Deputy Director, who had taken the Shinigami eyes, had been unable to bring himself to kill Mello. Aizawa and the others heard gunfire and ran toward the sound, to find Soichiro lying on the ground, clutching the Death Note. </p><p>Aizawa ordered Mello to drop his gun and surrender. Instead, Mello pulled the trigger he had been holding. </p><p>The last thing Aizawa remembered was a loud explosion and a blinding flash of light. </p><p>*					*					* </p><p>Aizawa could hear voices nearby. His head ached and he felt a bit disoriented as he slowly opened his eyes. He could tell he was in a hospital room. The voices were coming from Ide and Mogi who stood nearby and hadn’t noticed yet that Aizawa had woken up. </p><p>Raising a hand to his aching head, Aizawa felt bandages wrapped around it. He tried to remember what had happened. Gunfire. An explosion. That’s right. He remembered now. Mello had blown up his own hideout. </p><p>“You’re awake,” Ide’s relieved voice said as he and Mogi approached Aizawa’s bed.  </p><p>“How do you feel?” Mogi asked him. </p><p>“Alright I guess. My head hurts like hell and I’m a bit confused, but I’ll be okay.” </p><p>Looking at him, Mogi did not seem to be injured all that badly and only had a few scratches on his face. He was also the only one who was not in hospital clothes. Ide on the other hand was on crutches, favoring his left leg, and had a bandage on his right cheek. With a sudden panic, Aizawa noticed who was missing. </p><p>“Where’s Matsuda?” he demanded as he quickly sat up. He instantly regretted doing this as it caused him to grow dizzy. </p><p>“Easy,” Mogi said, as he gently helped Aizawa lay back down. “You need to rest.” </p><p>“Where’s Matsuda?” Aizawa repeated. </p><p>“He’s resting in his room,” Ide said. “He’s alright, but he was worried about you. We saw you first and you were unconscious. When we told him that, he was beside himself with worry. He said he wanted to be alerted the moment you woke up.” </p><p>“Right,” Mogi said. “I’ll do it.” </p><p>“Wait,” Aizawa sat up, slower this time, despite protests from the other two. “Where’s his room?” </p><p>“Doesn’t matter,” Mogi said. Aizawa could tell that Mogi knew if he told Aizawa which room Matsuda was in, Aizawa was going to go there himself. “I’ll tell him you’re awake.” </p><p>“I’ll come with you,” Aizawa said. </p><p>He started to climb out of bed; Ide moved over to stop him, actually blocking Aizawa with one of his crutches. “You need to rest. Doctor’s orders. Matsuda’s fine, trust us.” </p><p>Aizawa knew that they were trying to reassure him.  But he had to <i>see</i> Matsuda. He had to see for himself that Matsuda was safe</p><p>Mogi had turned to leave again. </p><p>“Take me to his room, or I will get up anyway and find it on my own,” Aizawa said. “Either way, I’m going to his room, so which is it?” </p><p>“Aizawa, you were hit on the head, you could have a concussion,” Ide said. “The last thing you need to do at the moment is go for a stroll through the hospital.” </p><p>Actually, just the mere thought of standing up made Aizawa feel queasy. “Then ask the nurse if I can have a wheelchair.” </p><p>Aizawa knew he was being irrational, and he knew that right now, the best thing for him was to get some rest. Even so, he wouldn’t be able to rest at all until he saw for himself that Matsuda was okay.  </p><p>Ide sighed in defeat and walked out of the room. He could hear Ide and the nurse talking nearby. </p><p>“Do you have a wheelchair for Mr. Aizawa?” Ide asked her. </p><p>“Why? Is he leaving the room?” the nurse sounded concerned. “He has a head injury, he needs to stay in bed.” </p><p>“Unless you’re planning to chain him to the bed, I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Ide replied. </p><p>A minute later, the nurse came in. Ide was behind her, and Mogi followed Ide, pushing an empty wheelchair. </p><p>“Aizawa-san,” she told him gently, “I really do advise you to stay in bed. You’re not ready to be up and about yet.” </p><p>“I have to check on someone,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“I must insist—” </p><p>Aizawa calmly interrupted her. “I’m not leaving the hospital and I’ll come right back to my room.” </p><p>“You need to rest,” the nurse told him. </p><p>“My boyfriend is in another room, I have to make sure that he’s okay,” Aizawa told her. “Once I’ve seen him, I’ll come back. Please, let me go to him.” </p><p>“We’ll keep an eye on him,” Ide told her. </p><p>She hesitated, but then reluctantly agreed. Between her and Mogi, they helped Aizawa stand up and get into the wheelchair. As they headed for Matsuda’s room, Aizawa thought back to the explosion, trying to recall what had happened just before that. He suddenly remembered something and could not believe he didn’t think about it earlier.</p><p>“Hey, what happened to the Deputy Director?” Aizawa asked. “He was hurt pretty badly, wasn’t he?” </p><p>The brief silence that answered his questions, did nothing to reassure Aizawa. </p><p>“They um, they don’t expect him to make it,” Mogi said quietly. </p><p>It sounded like he was holding back tears, and this news hit Aizawa pretty hard, too. “Oh no. Is he here? At this hospital?” </p><p>“Yeah, in a room upstairs,” Ide said. “They’ve been working on him and haven’t let anyone see him yet. Light’s up there, though. He's supposed to text me or Mogi once we’re able to see the Deputy Director.” </p><p>Matsuda’s room turned out to be at the opposite end of the corridor. Aizawa was suddenly very grateful that the others had not allowed him to walk there. He was not sure he would have made it. Nonetheless, when Mogi wheeled Aizawa into the room, and he spotted Matsuda, it was all Aizawa could do, not to stand up and run over to him.</p><p>Matsuda was sitting up in his bed as a nurse finished wrapping up his left wrist. He also had a neck brace on and a bandage like Ide’s on his left cheek. Aizawa was relieved to see that, despite his injuries, Matsuda was awake and alert. </p><p>Matsuda looked up when Aizawa entered and a huge smile came across his face. Aizawa could not help but smile either. Once Mogi had pushed Aizawa closer to Matsuda’s bed, Matsuda got up and hurried over to him. When he was within arm’s reach, Aizawa pulled Matsuda into a tight embrace. Matsuda hugged him back just as tightly. </p><p>“Shichi,” Matsuda said softly as they broke apart, “I heard you were unconscious. I was so worried about you.” </p><p>“I’m fine,” Aizawa replied. </p><p>“You’re in a wheelchair,” Matsuda pointed out. </p><p>“I know,” Aizawa said. “But that’s because I hit my head in the explosion. The nurse didn’t want me to be walking around yet. And honestly, I don’t think I could have walked here.” </p><p>“Shichi, if you have a head injury, you probably should have stayed in your room,” Matsuda said and Aizawa could hear the concern in his voice. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you and I love that you came here to see me, but Ide or Mogi telling me that you were awake would have been fine.” </p><p>Aizawa reached out and took Matsuda’s hand. “I had to see you.” </p><p>“I wanted to go see you, but they wouldn’t let me leave my room.” </p><p>“That didn’t stop me,” Aizawa said lightly. “I made the effort to come see you--and I was unconscious up until about ten minutes ago.” </p><p>Matsuda chuckled. “Way to make me feel guilty.” </p><p>Aizawa indicated the neck brace. “What happened?”</p><p>“Nothing major,” Matsuda said. “It’s just a precaution to keep me from moving my head or neck too quickly. It’ll be removed before I leave.” </p><p>A nurse walked in just then and Matsuda addressed her. “Michi-san, the bed beside mine is empty and my boyfriend’s room is all the way down the hall. Would it be alright if we moved him to the bed here instead?” </p><p>The nurse smiled. “We could certainly do that. Give me a few minutes to set it up. Actually, if we had known that you two were a couple, we would have put you in the same room to begin with.” </p><p>“Thanks, Michi,” Matsuda said. “That’s Michiko, the charge nurse. You’ll like her, Aizawa. She’s very nice.” </p><p>Michiko returned a few minutes later with a pillow and sheets for the extra bed. As she prepared everything, Ide and Mogi came up to Aizawa and Matsuda. </p><p>“It looks like they’ve got everything in order here, and you two need your rest. Mogi and I will come back later. And we'll let you know if we hear from Light.” </p><p>As they said their goodbyes and left, Michiko helped Aizawa out of the wheelchair and into the bed beside Matsuda’s. </p><p>“Thank you,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“It’s no problem at all,” she said. “I’ll go gather any belongings you had in the other room and bring them here.” </p><p>Matsuda rolled over to face Aizawa. “You’ll be okay, right? You’re not at risk for a concussion or anything?” </p><p>“I’ll be fine,” Aizawa assured him. Actually, he had not yet spoken to a doctor about his condition, but there was no point in worrying Matsuda. “My head hurts like hell though.” </p><p>“I’m sure Michi-san can give you something for it when she comes back,” Matsuda said. </p><p>For some reason, hearing Matsuda call her this by this nickname irritated Aizawa. He realized he was feeling jealous, and then realized he had no reason to feel this way. </p><p>He wondered if Matsuda knew about Deputy Director Yagami’s condition. They all had great respect for the Deputy Director, but Matsuda had always really looked up to him. Ide had just mentioned that he would tell them if he heard any news from Light, and Aizawa did not see any reason why Ide and Mogi would not have told Matsuda. In case they didn’t, however, Aizawa knew that he deserved to know. </p><p>“Did you hear about Deputy Director Yagami?” Aizawa asked him. </p><p>Matsuda nodded slowly and Aizawa was sure that he saw a trace of tears in the younger man’s eyes. “Yeah. Ide and Mogi told me. I can’t believe it, though. But hey, there’s still a chance he'll make it, right? It’s not completely hopeless.” </p><p>Even as he said it, however, Matsuda did not sound like he completely believed this himself. Aizawa saw Matsuda wipe away a few tears, and he now felt bad about bringing it up at all. </p><p>“I guess we’re all lucky to be alive, when you think about it,” Matsuda said after a few seconds of silence. “We got pretty banged up though.” He paused and in a lighter tone, added, “Except for Mogi. That guy must be invincible or something.” </p><p>Aizawa started to laugh until his head painfully protested. Michiko came back a few minutes later with Aizawa’s phone and wallet. She was followed by another nurse who introduced herself as Nori, who would be taking over for Michiko. Aizawa asked her for some medicine for his aching head and she brought him two pills and a paper cup of water. </p><p>“I know you must be in a lot of pain,” Nori told him. “So I gave you a pretty strong pain medication. It’ll probably make you drowsy. </p><p>She then turned her attention to Matsuda. “I think we can remove the neck brace now, too. Just be careful.” </p><p>Aizawa finished taking his medicine and looked over toward Matsuda’s bed. Another flicker of jealousy went through him as he could tell that Nori was clearly flirting with Matsuda. Matsuda was not flirting back, but being the naturally friendly and talkative guy that he was, it was obvious that Nori thought Matsuda was equally interested in her. </p><p>“Fortunately, since you weren’t injured too badly, you'll probably be able to leave soon,” Nori said. She placed her hand on Matsuda’s arm, and that jealous feeling inside Aizawa increased. “I’ll miss you though. It’s not everyday that I get a patient as handsome as you.” </p><p>As she left, Matsuda turned to Aizawa. “Nori’s really sweet, isn’t she?” </p><p>“She would be. If she wasn’t hitting on you,” Aizawa replied. </p><p>“Oh, look who’s jealous for no reason at all,” Matsuda said, smiling. </p><p>Aizawa knew that his jealousy was unfounded. And there was something about Matsuda’s smile that dissolved Aizawa’s jealousy completely. </p><p>Why did Matsuda have to be so damn cute?  </p><p>Aizawa smiled in return and said, “Let’s just say that I’m glad we’ll be leaving soon.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Up On the Roof</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Matsuda has a difficult time dealing with the passing of Soichiro Yagami.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here are the next three chapters. I feel like the story kind of drifted away from the focus on the relationship of Aizawa and Matsuda over the last few chapters, but it was the only route I could find to get the story to this point. The next few chapters will be more about them.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it turned out, they sadly ended up losing the Deputy Director later that night. Aizawa and Matsuda were allowed to leave their room in order to go see him. Before passing, Soichiro confirmed that Light wasn't Kira. They were all devastated, though understandably, Light took it the hardest. </p>
<p>After this, Light suggested that they all come with him, up to the roof. They had to return one of the notebooks to its original owner: a Shinigami named Sidoh. They went up to the roof of the hospital and each of them touched the notebook. Aizawa was struck by the appearance of this Shinigami. Then again, seeing any Shinigami was always surprising. And it was unexpected, too, as they each looked different and they never knew what a new Shinigami was going to look like. </p>
<p>Light gave the notebook to Sidoh and they all watched him fly away. Once Sidoh was out of sight, they all started to leave the roof. That was when Aizawa noticed that Matsuda was not following them. Instead, he had walked over to the side and seemed to be in deep thought about something. Aizawa told the others to go ahead and walked back over to Matsuda. </p>
<p>“Tou-chan, you coming?” he asked. </p>
<p>Matsuda glanced over at him, and there was a trace of tears in his eyes. “I just need a few minutes.” </p>
<p>“Would you like some company?” </p>
<p>“Sure.” Matsuda was silent for a bit before he quietly said, “I’m going to miss the Deputy Director.” </p>
<p> A few tears left his eyes and Aizawa wrapped an arm around him. “I know. We all will.” </p>
<p>While this was true, Aizawa knew it would probably be more saddening for Matsuda. He had looked up to Deputy Director Yagami. To Matsuda, Soichiro had been a mentor and likely a father figure as well. Not to mention, Matsuda had also known the Yagami family for years. </p>
<p>“I should have made the eye deal,” Matsuda said. “Because even if the Deputy Director had survived tonight, he still would have died in thirteen days. And while I would never think of going against the Deputy Director’s wishes, just this once, I should have done the opposite of what he asked of me. I offered to make the eye deal instead and he wouldn’t let me do it. But if I had gone ahead and done it anyway, he would still be here.” </p>
<p>“And if you had made the eye deal, you would die in thirteen days,” Aizawa said and the words caught in his throat as he said them. “What the hell am I supposed to do then?” </p>
<p>Matsuda looked at him. “What do you mean?” </p>
<p>“If you had made the deal for the eyes, you would die in thirteen days. And I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Shichi,” Matsuda said. “Of course, I should take your feelings about this into account, too.” </p>
<p>“Honestly, if the Deputy Director hadn’t stopped you, I would have,” Aizawa told him. “And I would have done the deal instead.” </p>
<p>Matsuda gave a bitter chuckle. “So you don’t lose me in thirteen days, but I lose you instead? How the hell is that any better? And you just got upset with me because I didn’t think about how my decision would affect you. What about how your decision would affect me?” </p>
<p>“I know,” Aizawa said. “But I’ll do anything to protect you. And if making the deal for the eyes means keeping you safe, then I would do in a heartbeat.” </p>
<p>Matsuda was quiet and Aizawa thought he was thinking about what was just discussed. Then he heard Matsuda sniff and looked over to see tears streaming down his face. Aizawa pulled him close and embraced him. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Touta,” Aizawa said quietly. “You’re right. It’s unfair for me to ask you to do something for me, that I won’t do for you.” </p>
<p>Matsuda shook his head. “It’s not that. Well, it’s partially that, but it’s also knowing that you would do that for me. And knowing I would then lose you in thirteen days. It’s that last part that I can’t stand. I don't know what I would do without you. And I’d rather not find out the hard way.”  </p>
<p>Aizawa now felt horrible for what he had said. But before he could apologize again, or say anything more, Matsuda spoke. </p>
<p>“You know what really sucks?” he asked. “It’s that no matter what, someone would have to die in order to accomplish what we did tonight. Someone had to make the eye deal, and it had to be somebody on the Task Force. If that person didn’t die tonight, they would in thirteen days. And if it hadn't been the Deputy Director, it would have been me, you, Mogi, or Ide. One of us was going to die, no matter what.” </p>
<p>Aizawa had not really thought of it that way, but he supposed that Matsuda was right. It did seem like the only way to fight Mello and get the notebook back was for one of them to make the ultimate sacrifice. And while he really hoped that it hadn’t been the Deputy Director, he really did not want it to be anyone else on the team either. </p>
<p>“He taught me so much,” Matsuda said. “I joined the force and Deputy Director Yagami instantly took me under his wing. He took me to my first ICPO meeting, I got to know his family, and if I had any questions, about anything, I could ask him and he wouldn’t make me feel stupid for asking him. Speaking of which, he’s the one person, aside from you, who never got annoyed with me, never got angry with me, and never called me an idiot. I learned a lot about what it means to be a police officer because of the Deputy Director. I respected him, and I loved him like a father. And now, he’s gone.” </p>
<p>“I know,” Aizawa said. “I know what he meant to you.” </p>
<p>Matsuda suddenly turned to Aizawa and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly. Aizawa instantly reacted, embracing Matsuda as tightly as he could. </p>
<p>“Thank goodness I have you,” Matsuda said. “I don’t know if I could have gotten through any of this without you. I love you, Shichi.” </p>
<p>“I love you too, Tou-Chan,” Aizawa said. He took this time to relish the feeling of holding the younger man in his arms. He did truly love Matsuda and needed him, too. Just as much as Matsuda seemed to need Aizawa. </p>
<p>A cool breeze picked up and swept over them. “It’s getting cold out here. Should we go back in?”</p>
<p>Matsuda nodded as they slowly pulled away from each other. “Yeah. We probably should. The nurses let us leave to visit the Deputy Director, but they probably expected us to be back by now.” </p>
<p>“I hope Nori’s shift is over,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“Are you still jealous of her?” </p>
<p>“I’m not jealous!” Aizawa said, more defensively than he intended to. “I’m just annoyed by her because I know she likes you.” </p>
<p>“So...you’re jealous,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>“That’s not what I said.” </p>
<p>“You basically gave the definition of jealousy.” </p>
<p>“I can’t help it, alright? Everytime Nori talks to you, she flirts with you and touches you. And right in front of me.” </p>
<p>“You know, I actually don’t think she knows that you and I are together.” </p>
<p>Aizawa thought this over. It was definitely a possibility. “Well then, someone should tell her.” </p>
<p>“Okay. We’ll tell her when we get back to the room,” Matsuda said. He paused and added, “You know that I’m not interested in her, right?” </p>
<p>“I know. And I trust you completely. I just don’t trust her and I—” </p>
<p>Aizawa was interrupted by Matsuda’s lips on his. When he pulled away, Matsuda said, “And you have nothing to worry about.” </p>
<p>Aizawa smiled at him. “I know.” </p>
<p>“In that case, we better head inside,” Matsuda said. “By now they probably think that you and I escaped from the hospital." </p>
<p>When they walked back into their room, Aizawa took hold of Matsuda's hand, just in case Nori was still there. </p>
<p>She happened to be coming out of their room, just as Aizawa and Matsuda were on their way in. Aizawa saw her glance down at their linked hands. And though she tried to hide it, Aizawa also saw Nori's somewhat dejected expression. </p>
<p>She composed herself though and said, "Oh good, you two are finally back. Matsuda-san, it's almost time for your next dose of medication. I'll be right back with it." </p>
<p>Aizawa happily noticed that all of her flirtatious advances toward Matsuda seemed to have disappeared altogether. </p>
<p>"I think she got the hint now. Don't you, Tou-chan?" </p>
<p>"You're so subtle, Shichi," Matsuda said lightly. "You might as well have just passionately made out with me right in front of her." </p>
<p>"I like that idea," Aizawa said as Matsuda climbed into his bed. Aizawa approached Matsuda and kissed him softly, yet deeply. "You going to be alright?" </p>
<p>Matsuda nodded. "Yeah. I'm not sure I'll sleep much tonight though." </p>
<p>"I'm feeling tired, but that's only because of the pain medication I was given earlier. Otherwise, after what's happened tonight, I probably wouldn't be able to sleep either. I can try to stay up with you."</p>
<p>"No, don't worry about it. You need your rest. If you can sleep, then you should." </p>
<p>Aizawa briefly kissed Matsuda once more. "Goodnight, Tou-chan. I love you." </p>
<p>"I love you too, Shichi. Goodnight." </p>
<p>Aizawa yawned as he climbed into bed. The effects of his medicine really beginning to take over now. Before he knew it, Aizawa had fallen into a deep, peaceful sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Accusation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aizawa's suspicions that Light is Kira, causes a big fight between him and Matsuda. And it's an argument that ends up having dire consequences.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week later, they were all cleared for release from the hospital. A few days after this, they received a call from Near. Apparently, Mello had told Near that there was a fake rule among the rules in the notebook. He asked Light which rule he thought it might be. Light said that he figured it to be the thirteen-day rule. Near agreed with him. At the end of the call, Near addressed the members of the Task Force, asking if the second L had ever been suspected of being Kira and to call him if they wanted to help out. </p><p>This made Aizawa think back to the beginning of the Kira case. He remembered that while L was still alive, he held an unwavering suspicion that Light was Kira. Aizawa did not want to believe that Light was Kira, but it seemed to become increasingly harder to deny. Especially if the thirteen-day rule was fake. That would mean that Light being confined for over fifty days proved nothing.</p><p>Aizawa wondered if anyone else suspected the same thing. He knew for a fact that Matsuda had complete faith in Light. Yet, Aizawa was going to contact Near. He knew he had to do it. And he knew he had to tell Matsuda. </p><p>Aizawa loved Matsuda too much to keep his beliefs about Light a secret. He would tell Matsuda his suspicions and about his plan to call Near. He only hoped Matsuda would not be too angry with him. Not only did Matsuda believe in Light's innocence, he didn't really seem to trust Near very much. Matsuda always had a great level of respect for L, but with Near he seemed to be different.</p><p>Once their conversation with Near had ended, Aizawa turned to Matsuda. The sooner he told Matsuda, the better. He hoped. </p><p>“Touta, can I talk to you about this? In private?” Aizawa asked him. </p><p>Matsuda agreed and Aizawa led the way up to his room. The second Aizawa closed the door behind them, Matsuda said, “Can you believe Near? Telling us to call him if we think Light is Kira. As if that’s a possibility.” </p><p><i>This may be harder than I thought it would be,</i> Aizawa thought.  How was he supposed to explain his thoughts about Light to Matsuda, who believed in Light unfailingly? </p><p>“All of the evidence does point to him,” Aizawa said reasonably. </p><p>“What are you talking about?” Matsuda asked. “We haven’t seen any solid proof that Light <i>may</i> be Kira. Let alone proof that he definitely is. I don’t understand what makes Near think that any of us are going to turn in our friend. It’s not as if any of us believe that Light is Kira, right?” </p><p>When Aizawa did not respond, Matsuda looked over at him. “Right, Shichi?” </p><p>Aizawa hesitated, bracing himself for Matsuda’s reaction. “I’m actually going to call Near.” </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“I’m sorry, Tou-chan, but I think Light is Kira.” </p><p>“You’re wrong, Shichi.” </p><p>“Look, I hope you’re right. I don’t <i>want</i> Light to be Kira, but it’s getting harder and harder to believe that he isn’t.” </p><p>Matsuda looked angrier than Aizawa had ever seen him, and his voice shook when he spoke. “You’re talking about the Deputy Director’s son.” </p><p><i>Like I haven’t already thought about that, too.</i> Aizawa thought. “I know. And just like the rest of you, I respected Deputy Director Yagami, which makes this even harder for me.” </p><p>“If Light is Kira,” Matsuda began, “then why would he be trying to help us capture Kira?” </p><p>“Because then he can control the situation to make sure we don’t catch on to him. And if Light’s so brilliant, and he’s not Kira, why haven’t we tracked him down yet? Because Light is Kira and he doesn’t want us to find out,” Aizawa said. “We had more leads when L was still alive, and that’s because L wasn’t Kira.” </p><p>“Okay, how about this one,” Matsuda said. “If Light is Kira, why aren’t we all dead? If Light was Kira, and he didn’t want us to find out, what better way to keep us from finding out than to kill all of us?” </p><p>“That would make him look suspicious to everyone else,” Aizawa explained, trying to keep his patience in check. “Think about it. If the entire Task Force suddenly dropped dead and Light was the only one who survived, how would that look? The SPK would know for sure then. And Near already knows that Light is Kira.” </p><p>“Near <i>thinks</i> that Light is Kira,” Matsuda said it as if he were correcting Aizawa. “But there’s absolutely no way that it’s true. Please Shichi, don’t call Near.” </p><p>“I have to do what I think is right,” Aizawa said quietly. </p><p>Matsuda exploded then. “What you think is right? Let me tell you something, Aizawa. There is something seriously wrong with what you think is right!” Aizawa registered Matsuda's use of his surname. “So to you, the right thing to do is consider our innocent friend to be an evil mass murderer and then turn him over to the organization that’s trying to catch him!” </p><p>“If Light is truly innocent, and I hope he is, then maybe talking to Near will help clear that up,” Aizawa said. The way he saw it, whether Light was innocent or guilty, it was worth talking to Near. Near would investigate based on what Aizawa told him, and be able to prove it one way or the other.</p><p>“How about you don’t tell Near at all and you just believe in Light?” </p><p>“I can’t do that, Touta,” Aizawa said and he could feel himself getting fired up now, too. “I’m talking to Near, and that’s it.” </p><p>“You can’t do this, Aizawa!” Matsuda said. </p><p>“I can and I will,” Aizawa insisted irritably. “Don’t try to change my mind!”</p><p>“Change your mind?” Matsuda scoffed. “I wouldn’t even bother. I know what a stubborn and pig-headed jerk you are! You always have to be right!” </p><p>“Even if that’s true, at least I’m not naive and stupid enough to think that everyone is completely innocent!” </p><p>Only after the words were out of his mouth, did Aizawa realize what he had said. He quickly regretted it. </p><p>“Naive and stupid?” Matsuda said. He sounded so hurt and his eyes showed the same pain. He even looked like he was near tears. Aizawa never felt so bad about something he had said.  </p><p>“Touta, I…” </p><p>“Well Aizawa, it’s nice to know what you really think about me.” With that, Matsuda stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him. </p><p>Aizawa stood in his room for a moment, feeling guilty and ashamed. </p><p>Naive and stupid. The two things that everyone else on the Task Force thought of Matsuda. Aizawa did not think so, and he defended Matsuda when the others said such things about him. Aizawa did not mean it when he said it right now either. He had said it out of anger, and hurt the one person that mattered to him the most. </p><p>Aizawa opened the door and hurried downstairs. He had to find Matsuda and apologize. Though he wouldn’t be surprised if Matsuda never forgave him for this. </p><p>He found Matsuda down there, talking to Ide and Mogi. When he turned around and saw Aizawa, however, Matsuda turned and headed for the door of the headquarters. </p><p>“Tou-chan, wait!” Aizawa called after him. </p><p>Matsuda stopped and turned to face Aizawa. “When I’m ready to be insulted some more, then I’ll come find you.” </p><p>“Will you please listen to me?” </p><p>“What the hell do you want?” Matsuda asked and a few tears left his eyes. </p><p>“I’m trying to apologize to you,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“For what?” Matsuda said. “That’s obviously what you really think about me or else you wouldn’t have said it.” </p><p>“I didn’t mean it!” Aizawa told him. </p><p>Matsuda came storming back over to him, and Aizawa actually backed up a bit. “If I’m so stupid, then why are you even with me?” </p><p>Aizawa could not help it. He felt his anger boiling over again. Here he was trying to apologize, but if Matsuda didn’t want an apology, then Aizawa did not have to give him one. </p><p>“That’s a good question,” Aizawa responded. “Why should I waste any more of my time with an idiot like you?” </p><p>Matsuda’s eyes widened and more tears formed in them. “What did you say?” </p><p>“You heard me.” </p><p>“Yeah, unfortunately I did.” He turned and angrily headed for the front doors. </p><p>Ide called after him. “Matsuda, wait!” </p><p>“No, Ide. I have to get out of here for awhile.” He gave Aizawa a furious look and added, “I have to get away from <i>him</i>.”  </p><p>“That was some apology, Aizawa,” Ide told him.</p><p>“Shut it, Ide.” Aizawa was not in the mood for snide comments from anyone at the moment. He glared after Matsuda as the latter opened the doors and walked out. </p><p>A few seconds later, came the unmistakable sound of gunfire. </p><p>“What the hell?” Aizawa said. </p><p>“Gunshots!” Ide said. </p><p>“Oh no,” Aizawa exclaimed, “Touta!” </p><p>He ran outside, followed by Ide and Mogi. </p><p>They found Matsuda lying right outside the entrance, bleeding from two gunshot wounds to his chest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Resolution</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aizawa anxiously waits at the hospital to hear news about Matsuda's condition. During this time, he thinks about what he said to Matsuda and wonders if there's a chance that Matsuda will ever forgive him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aizawa sat in the hospital lobby feeling absolutely miserable. Ide and Mogi were waiting, too, and they had all been there for an hour already, without hearing any news about Matsuda. It was the longest hour of Aizawa’s life and it didn’t help any that all he could think about was the last thing he had said to Matsuda: 'Why should I waste anymore of my time with an idiot like you?' </p><p><i>Why did I have to say that?</i> Aizawa thought to himself. <i>I went looking for Touta so that I could apologize and that’s what I should have done. What if I never get that chance now?</i> </p><p>No, he could not think like that. Aizawa pushed all thoughts of losing Matsuda out of his mind. The mere thought was devastating to him. If Matsuda did not make it, Aizawa was not so sure that he would either. </p><p>Aizawa glanced up at the double doors that Matsuda had been taken through. This was something he seemed to do every five minutes, hoping that someone would come out there and tell him how Matsuda was doing. He hated this feeling of helplessness. He felt that he should have been there to protect Matsuda. The only reason Matsuda left in the first place was because Aizawa had made him so angry. As if he needed another reason to feel guilty for what had happened to Matsuda, Aizawa was now thinking about this, too. </p><p>If Aizawa had not let his anger get the better of him, he would not have said any of the hurtful things that he did, Matsuda would not have left the building, and he would not have been shot. </p><p>“It’s all my fault,” Aizawa muttered out loud. </p><p>Ide and Mogi looked at him. </p><p>“What?” Mogi asked. </p><p>“What happened to Matsu, it’s my fault,” Aizawa repeated. </p><p>“You didn’t pull the trigger,” Ide told him. </p><p>“I didn’t pull the trigger, but I made Matsu so angry that he left. He left because of me, and then he was shot.” </p><p>“Matsuda’s going to be fine,” Ide told him. “He’ll make it.” </p><p>Aizawa wanted to believe him, but all he could see in his mind was finding Matsuda on the ground, bleeding profusely outside the headquarters. On the ambulance ride there, Matsuda had opened his eyes and looked at Aizawa one time. He looked like he was trying to say something, but he passed out again before he got out more than a few words. </p><p>Matsuda had been lying on the gurney and Aizawa was seated beside him as the paramedics did what they could to stop the bleeding. He looked over and said, “Shichi...I...I…” </p><p>That was all he managed. Given the circumstances, Aizawa would not have been surprised if he was trying to say ‘I hate you’. This was another thing that troubled Aizawa, if Matsuda did make it, no, <i>when</i> he made it, would he even want to talk to Aizawa? </p><p><i>Why would he want to? After what I said to him. After he was shot because of me. How can he ever forgive me for that?</i> </p><p>Aizawa turned to the other two. “When they’re done working on Matsu, if they let you see him, will you please tell him how sorry I am? Tell him that I didn’t mean the awful things I said to him and that I’m sorry I couldn’t help him when he was shot.” </p><p>“Why don’t you tell him yourself?” Mogi asked. </p><p>“Because I’m sure I’ll be the last person that Matsu wants to see,” Aizawa said and he could not stop a few tears from leaving his eyes. It was all he could do to not completely break down. “If he wants nothing to do with me anymore, I can’t say I blame him.” </p><p>“Aizawa, he’s going to be happy to know that you’re here,” Ide said. </p><p>“I hope you’re right,” Aizawa told him. “But in case <i>I’m</i> right, promise me that you’ll tell him what I said.” </p><p>Ide and Mogi both agreed, followed by both of them once again reassuring Aizawa that Matsuda was going to be just fine and would want to see him right away. </p><p>He appreciated what they were doing, but it would not make any difference to Aizawa until Matsuda was in the clear. And even then, not until he knew if Matsuda absolutely hated him or not. </p><p>The same unpleasant thoughts kept going through his mind on a constant rotation. Like his own mind was accusing him of things he already felt guilty enough for. </p><p><i>You called him an idiot. What happened to him is because of you. Touta probably hates you. He’ll never want to see you nor speak to you ever again. He’s in the hospital because of you.</i> </p><p>Aizawa suffered through forty-five more minutes of these unpleasant thoughts before the double-doors opened and a nurse walked out. </p><p>Aizawa instantly stood up; Ide and Mogi followed suit. </p><p>“How is he?” Aizawa asked urgently. </p><p>“Mr. Matsuda is going to be fine,” she said with a smile. </p><p>All three of them sighed in relief.</p><p>“He’s asking for someone,” the nurse added. “He wants to speak to a Mr. Aizawa.” </p><p>Aizawa could not believe it. “That’s me. Are you sure?” </p><p>“That’s what he said.” </p><p>“And you thought he was going to hate you,” Ide said, smiling. It was clear that he and Mogi were happy to hear that Matsuda was going to pull through, too. </p><p>Aizawa followed the nurse through the ICU. She stopped at the end of the hallway and said, “Second door on the right.”  </p><p>Aizawa thanked her and continued to the room, knocking on the door as he opened it.</p><p>“Tou-chan?” </p><p>Matsuda looked up and smiled when he saw Aizawa. “Hey, you.”</p><p>Aizawa smiled back. He approached Matsuda’s bed, taking a seat beside him. Instinctively, he reached out and took one of Matsuda’s hands into both of his. Even so, he half-expected Matsuda to pull away from him. </p><p>Relieved that it was possible Matsuda didn’t hate him after all, Aizawa got right to his apology. </p><p>“Touta, I’m so sorry…” he began. </p><p>“Shichi…” </p><p>“No, let me do this. Please,” Aizawa said. “I’m sorry for the things I said to you earlier. You’re not an idiot, you’re not a waste of my time. On the contrary, anytime we’re together, that’s when I’m the happiest. I never should have said that. I never should have called you naive and stupid either. You’re not. I said those things in anger and I wish I could take them back. I’m so, so sorry.” </p><p>“Alright, my turn,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“Tou-chan, you don’t have to…” </p><p>He smiled and said, “No, I really do.” </p><p>Aizawa felt that Matsuda had nothing to apologize to him for. But he also knew that Matsuda wouldn’t feel better about it until he did. </p><p>“I overreacted to everything you said,” Matsuda said. “You came downstairs to apologize to me and I wouldn’t let you. I called you some names, too. I said you were a stubborn, pigheaded jerk, and that you always have to be right. I’m sorry, too. For all of it.” </p><p>“There’s a difference though, between what I said to you and what you said to me,” Aizawa said. </p><p>“What’s that?” </p><p>“What you said about me is true.”</p><p>“Wait a minute,” Matsuda said. “You’re <i>admitting</i> that you’re stubborn and always have to be right? I wish I was recording that.” </p><p>“It’s true though," Aizawa said. "I let my anger get the better of me...and I tend to do that a lot. You mean the world to me, Tou-chan. And what did I do? I yelled at you and insulted you. You’re in the hospital because of me.” </p><p>“What are you talking about? You didn’t shoot me.” </p><p>“Yeah, but if I hadn’t hurt you and angered you so much, you wouldn’t have left, and this wouldn’t have happened.” Aizawa paused. “I should be protecting you. Instead, I drove you into harm’s way. I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me for all of this?” </p><p>“I already have,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“You have?” </p><p>“Of course." Matsuda paused. “So...I forgive you and you forgive me. Are you going to kiss me or not?” </p><p>In response, Aizawa leaned over and kissed Matsuda. Something that minutes ago, he feared he would never be able to do again. Aizawa did not want to stop. If they weren’t in a hospital and Matsuda wasn’t injured, he probably would not have been able to control himself. </p><p>When they did finally break apart, Aizawa remembered the ride in the ambulance. He wondered if Matsuda recalled any of that. </p><p>“Tou-chan, do you remember being in the ambulance?” Aizawa said. </p><p>“Kind of.” </p><p>“You were trying to say something to me. I was wondering if you remember what you wanted to say.” </p><p>Matsuda thought about it for a few seconds, then it seemed to come back to him. “I remember. But it doesn’t matter now. At the time, I thought there was a chance I wouldn’t make it.” </p><p>“Can’t you tell me anyway?” </p><p>“I better not,” Matsuda said. </p><p>“Just tell me,” Aizawa said. “Even if you don’t do it now, you will eventually, because you know I’ll keep coming back to this until you do.” </p><p>"Well, okay." Matsuda paused and his eyes grew misty. "I-I…was trying to say...goodbye-to you." </p><p>"Goodbye?" </p><p>"Yeah. I thought that I might not make it," Matsuda said, as a few tears rolled down his face. "I was trying to tell you that I love you. One last time." </p><p>Aizawa thought about how he felt in the waiting room; the uncertainty of Matsuda's condition. The unwanted notion that he could lose Matsuda. He tried to imagine the pain and fear that Matsuda must have endured. How bad it must have been for him, if he actually considered the possibility that he wouldn't live through it. </p><p>Aizawa shed a few tears of his own as he reached over and embraced Matsuda. Grateful that he had survived. Grateful to have Matsuda in his life. </p><p>He was actually glad that Matsuda had not been able to say goodbye to Aizawa. It would have seemed too final. And even though Matsuda was alive, Aizawa knew that if he had heard Matsuda's goodbye to him, he would continue to hear it in his mind nonetheless. </p><p>He leaned in and kissed Matsuda once more. Matsuda eagerly kissed him back. It would have lasted longer too, if Ide and Mogi hadn’t entered right then. </p><p>“Oh, pardon us for interrupting,” Ide said with a smirk. </p><p>“Yeah, go back out in the lobby and wait a little longer,” Aizawa told him. </p><p>“We’ve waited all this time,” Ide said. “We wanted to give you two enough time to yourselves first. I was going to ask if everything was okay between you now, but based on what we walked in on, I don’t think I have to.”</p><p>“We told Light what happened,” Mogi added. “He said that he's going to stop by and see how you're doing.” </p><p><i>Light’s coming?</i> Aizawa thought. He glanced over at Matsuda, remembering that their whole argument earlier had started because Aizawa believed that Light is Kira, while Matsuda did not. </p><p>Matsuda must have seen something in Aizawa’s expression. He squeezed Aizawa’s hand and looked over at him. “Shichi…” </p><p>“It’s okay,” Aizawa told him. He lowered his voice so the others would not hear him. “Light’s innocence hasn’t been proven one way or the other yet. I still have my suspicions, but I’m not going to call him out on it right here in the hospital. He doesn’t even know that I suspect him.”</p><p>"Shichi, I have a suggestion.” Matsuda was whispering, too. “I know that you suspect Light and you know that I don’t. But maybe it’s best if we each keep an open mind about this. You can still suspect Light, but keep open a possibility that he’s innocent. I’ll do the same. I still <i>don’t</i> suspect him, but I’ll leave room for the possibility that he is Kira. If we do this, I don’t think we’ll fight about it, because we’ll be able to understand each other’s opinion.”</p><p>“I can do that,” Aizawa said. “I really hope that Light isn’t Kira as it is.” </p><p>“And if you want to contact Near, then I won’t try to stop you and I won’t say anything about it,” Matsuda said. “If you feel it’s the right thing to do, then I want you to do it.” </p><p>“Thanks, Tou-chan.” </p><p>“That said, and keeping open the possibility that Light is Kira, I do have to say something,” Matsuda told him. </p><p>“What’s that?” </p><p>“If you do call Near, please be careful about Light finding out.” </p><p>“If I contact Near, it’s only fair that I let Light know about it.” </p><p>“Shichi, if you call Near, then tell Light about it, and if Light <i>is</i> Kira...he might kill you.” Matsuda’s voice cracked slightly as he said the last part. </p><p>Aizawa squeezed Matsuda’s hand and said, “I’m not worried about that. And I don’t want you to worry about it either.” </p><p>“But, Shichi—!” </p><p>“Light wouldn’t be able to kill me without it looking suspicious,” Aizawa said. “If I tell Light that I contacted Near, and then I die a day or two later, he’s basically pointing a finger at himself.” </p><p>“I guess you’re right,” Matsuda said. “Still though, please be careful, Shichi. Please.” </p><p>“You know I will.” </p><p>As if on cue, the door opened as Light walked in. He approached the other side of Matsuda's bed. </p><p>“Mogi told me what happened,” Light said. “How do you feel, Matsuda?”  </p><p>“I’m in pain, of course, and I'm tired of being in the hospital every couple of weeks, but I’m going to be fine,” Matsuda replied. </p><p>“That’s good to hear,” Light said. “There are surveillance cameras outside of headquarters and at nearby buildings, too. I'm more than certain that the person who shot you was seen by at least one of those cameras. The tapes are being looked over as we speak.” </p><p>Aizawa sincerely hoped that the suspect would be spotted on one of the tapes. Now, that he was sure Matsuda was going to be alright, Aizawa let his thoughts drift to the shooter for the first time. He realized just how furious he was with this person. How much he hated the suspect for hurting the one person that Aizawa loved with all his heart. Who had done this? Was Matsuda specifically targeted? And if so, then why?</p><p>Whatever the reason, this person made a mistake in shooting a police officer to begin with. But they made an even bigger mistake in shooting Matsuda. Because this meant that Aizawa was now hellbent on catching this person. They <i>had</i> to be caught. When this happened, Aizawa would make sure that he got the chance to question the suspect himself. And then he would do whatever it took to bring Matsuda’s shooter the justice that they deserved.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Interrogation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While Matsuda is in the hospital recovering, they find the man who shot him. Aizawa gets a chance to question him and almost takes the interrogation too far.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm only posting one chapter this time, because I'm currently reworking the ones that follow this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matsuda had now been in the hospital for three days. He had been told that in another two or three days, he could probably be released. </p>
<p>Members of the Task Force always made an effort to stop by and see him everyday. They would often stay for at least thirty minutes before work, after, or on their lunch breaks. He could not help but feel appreciative and grateful that they each took time in their busy schedules to stop in and check on him. </p>
<p>Yet it was Aizawa who almost never left his side. </p>
<p>Aizawa was currently on his lunch break, and he had stopped by to see Matsuda. The nurse had brought in Matsuda’s lunch a few minutes after Aizawa arrived. </p>
<p>Matsuda tried to offer some of it to him. </p>
<p>“No, that’s yours," Aizawa told him. "You’ll need it so that you’re strong enough to leave the hospital.” </p>
<p>“I just have a feeling that you haven’t been eating much lately,” Matsuda said. “I know you Shichi, and when something upsets you, you tend to go on a hunger strike.” </p>
<p>“I’m doing fine, believe me,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“Are you? Have you eaten today?” </p>
<p>“I had breakfast,” Aizawa said. Though as far Matsuda knew this meant coffee, a bagel, and nothing else. </p>
<p>“And lunch?” Matsuda asked. “I love it when you come to visit me, but I don’t want you compromising your own health to do this.” </p>
<p>“I’ll get something on the way back when I leave,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>Matsuda doubted this, but he didn’t feel like arguing and he didn’t want to push Aizawa too hard. He let it go for now. </p>
<p>Just then, Aizawa’s phone rang. </p>
<p>“Ide, what is it? They did? Where? That’s great! Where are they keeping him? I’ll be right over.” Aizawa hung up and turned to Matsuda. “Good news, Tou-chan. They found the man that shot you. They’re holding him at the station. I’m going to make sure that I get a chance to talk to that guy, too.” </p>
<p>Matsuda could see what this would potentially lead to. He had watched Aizawa’s expression as he spoke with Ide. Matsuda watched him go from neutral, to excited, to angry, all in rather quick succession. Aizawa was not a violent person in the least, but he did have a quick temper and he was very protective of Matsuda. When confronting someone who had so seriously and deliberately injured him, Matsuda was not sure whether or not Aizawa would be able to remain calm. </p>
<p>“Maybe..maybe <i>you</i> shouldn’t talk to the suspect personally,” Matsuda said hesitantly. </p>
<p>“Why not?” </p>
<p>“Because I know how protective you are and how angry you get when someone even so much as insults me. This guy shot me,” Matsuda explained. “If you talk to him, I don’t want you to do or say anything that’s going to cost you your job, or cause you to wind up in the hospital, too.” </p>
<p>“Listen, I hate this guy for what he did to you. And any sentence that he receives is not going to be enough in my mind,” Aizawa said. “But I’m only going to talk to him. Professionally and rationally.” </p>
<p>“Are you sure?” </p>
<p>“You have my word. And if you still don’t believe me, Ide and Mogi are there. They would stop me from doing anything that I shouldn’t do.” Aizawa stood up and then leaned down to kiss Matsuda. “Finish your lunch and get some rest. I’ll come see you after I get off work.” </p>
<p>“Okay,” Matsuda said. “Still, be careful when you’re talking to that guy, Shichi.” </p>
<p>“I will.” He took Matsuda’s hand and squeezed it. “I’ll see you later, Tou-chan. I love you.” </p>
<p>“I love you, too,” Matsuda said. </p>
<p>He watched Aizawa leave and then once he was sure that Aizawa was well down the hallway, Matsuda picked up his cell phone and called Ide.</p>
<p>“Matsuda,” Ide answered. “Is everything alright?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, everything’s fine, but I need to ask you for a favor.” </p>
<p>“What is it?” </p>
<p>“Aizawa just left the hospital and he’s on his way down there to talk to the suspect who shot me,” Matsuda said. “Aiza assured me that he would be calm and professional when speaking to him. But I’m afraid that the second he sees that guy, all of that will go out the window. Please tell me that you or someone else will be there to stop him if you have to. I don’t want Aiza getting arrested or hurt in some way.” </p>
<p>“Should we stop him from talking to the suspect?” Ide asked. </p>
<p><i>Good luck with that,</i> Matsuda thought. “No, just stop him if he seems like he’s getting too angry or irrational with the suspect.” </p>
<p>“Mogi and I are both here,” Ide said. “I assure you, we’ll keep an eye on Aizawa as he talks to the suspect. We won’t let him do anything he shouldn’t do.” </p>
<p>“Thanks, Ide.” </p>
<p>Matsuda hung up, feeling more reassured. Aizawa was actually pretty good at getting information or confessions out of those he spoke with, as long as he kept his cool. </p>
<p>Something that Matsuda hoped Aizawa would be able to do this time. </p>
<p>*					*					* </p>
<p>When Aizawa reached the police station, he headed straight for the interrogation room. He spotted Ide watching through the one-way glass. </p>
<p>“Ide,” Aizawa said. Ide turned around as Aizawa joined him. He spotted a man seated at a desk across from Mogi. “Is that him?” </p>
<p>“Yeah. His name is Jiro Harada.” </p>
<p>“Has he said anything useful yet?” </p>
<p>“At first he denied that he was the person we were looking for,” Ide said. “Then when Mogi told this guy that we had video of him, caught by nearby surveillance cameras, he admitted to being in the area, but claimed that he didn’t shoot anyone. Even though the surveillance footage clearly shows him aiming a gun at Matsuda and firing.” </p>
<p>Aizawa took another look at this guy and instantly felt enraged. </p>
<p><i>You shot Touta, you bastard,</i> Aizawa thought. Then, out loud he said, “The truth is, if there’s footage of him firing a gun, then even if he wasn’t the one who shot Matsu, he was firing at someone.” </p>
<p>“There’s also surveillance tapes from a few buildings down from us,” Ide said. “It captured footage of the shooting. And from right outside our own building, you can clearly see Matsuda getting shot and collapsing to the ground.” </p>
<p>“Let me see the footage,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“Are you sure you want to see that?” Ide said. </p>
<p>He wasn’t, but in response, Aizawa simply nodded. “If I’m going to talk to the suspect, I probably should see it first.” </p>
<p>Ide led Aizawa over to a nearby monitor and queued up the surveillance tape. “Here’s the video from down the street of our headquarters. You can see the suspect there and right here, you see Matsuda leaving the headquarters. The shooter quickly pulls out his gun and fires. Then you can see Matsuda get hit and collapse,” Ide said. </p>
<p>Ide switched on another monitor. “ And then if you look at this footage over here, this is right outside our building.” </p>
<p>It was a closer view of what happened to Matsuda. Aizawa watched as Matsuda came storming out of the building. A few seconds later, he was clearly hit by gunshots and fell to the ground. </p>
<p>Seeing that got Aizawa a bit choked up, but angered him as well. </p>
<p>“We took stills of the surveillance videos,” Ide said. “We’re going to use these when questioning the suspect further.” </p>
<p>The footage of Matsuda kept looping around and replaying. Aizawa did not want to look at it, but also couldn’t look away. His thoughts went back to that day. The big fight between him and Matsuda. How he had made Matsuda so angry that he left the building. </p>
<p>“Oh, sorry about that,” Ide said as he realized that the video was replaying. He turned it off and added, “You don’t need to keep seeing that.” </p>
<p>Aizawa still felt guilty about the whole thing. Despite Matsuda and everyone else telling him not to. </p>
<p>“If I didn’t have to be so damn stubborn, I could have just apologized to Matsu that day, then he wouldn’t have left and he wouldn’t have been shot,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“You’re feeling guilty for no reason again,” Ide said. </p>
<p>“I can’t help it. I keep thinking of things that I could have done differently and that would have kept Matsu safe.” </p>
<p>They walked back over the window just as Mogi walked out of the interrogation room. </p>
<p>“Any progress?” Ide asked. </p>
<p>“I’m afraid not,” Mogi answered. “He admits he was in the area, but not to shooting Matsuda. Or anyone for that matter.” </p>
<p>“Thanks, Mogi. I'll go talk to him now,” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>Mogi gave Aizawa a skeptical look. </p>
<p>“Maybe I can get him to confess to what he did,” Aizawa reasoned. </p>
<p>“And once he admits to shooting Matsuda, what will your reaction be?” Ide asked him. </p>
<p>“I’ll stay calm, I promise. And you guys will be watching, right? If you feel like I’m getting out of line, you can come in there and drag me out.”  </p>
<p>Mogi still seemed hesitant, but Ide spoke up. </p>
<p>“I think we should give Aizawa the chance to speak to the suspect, Mogi,” Ide said. “He’s right. We’ll be watching him.” </p>
<p>“Very well,” Mogi said. “But try to control yourself.” </p>
<p>“Not a problem,” Aizawa said, as Ide handed him the still surveillance images. Aizawa hoped that it wouldn’t become a problem once he was in there. </p>
<p>Aizawa walked in and approached the suspect. “Good afternoon, Mr. Harada. I’m Detective Aizawa.” </p>
<p>“If I didn’t tell the other detective anything, what makes you think I’ll tell you anything?” Harada answered. </p>
<p>His obstinance was already trying Aizawa’s patience. “Oh, I think you will.” </p>
<p>“You can’t prove anything,” Harada said. </p>
<p>Aizawa laid out the still images from the surveillance footage. “That’s you with a gun.” He pointed to the next one. “That’s you aiming the gun at this officer here.” </p>
<p>When he got to the last images, Aizawa had to compose himself. They were the images of Matsuda after he was shot. “And only a few seconds later, this officer, who we clearly see you firing at, collapsed from two gunshot wounds.” He paused and added, “Go ahead. Talk your way out of this one.” </p>
<p>The suspect looked at the images and Aizawa noticed a small smile form on his lips as he reached the photos of Matsuda lying on the ground. Aizawa had to restrain himself. </p>
<p>“Why the hell are you smiling?” Aizawa asked him.</p>
<p>“I did that for Lord Kira,” he answered. </p>
<p>“What?” Aizawa said. </p>
<p>“I shot him for Lord Kira, our savior,” Harada said. “The police are Kira’s enemies because you’re trying to catch him. You want to stop Kira. I did it for him.” </p>
<p>“So you admit to shooting this officer?” Aizawa said, his blood was boiling, but he had to keep a cool head. </p>
<p>“Yes. But there was one problem.” </p>
<p>“Yeah? And what the hell might that be?” </p>
<p>“I hear that this officer survived,” Harada continued. “That wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to die.” </p>
<p>Aizawa took a deep breath. <i>Stay calm, stay calm.</i>.  “You meant to kill him?” </p>
<p>“Yes. I was waiting for one of the officers to come out of the building. I vowed to kill the first one that walked out of there. I thought I had done just that. But apparently, I missed.” </p>
<p>“You did nearly kill him and you’re lucky he survived, you piece of—!” Aizawa stopped himself, but he did not have any more patience for this man anymore. “Let’s just say that you won’t be tried for murder, but for attempted murder, which is just as bad. Especially since the victim is a police officer. </p>
<p>“What’s one officer, really?” Harada asked calmly. “It’s not as if you don’t still have a hundred more.” </p>
<p>“And what, you think one officer can simply replace another if he dies?” Aizawa asked incredulously. </p>
<p>“I’m just saying that the death of one officer shouldn’t be that big of a deal to you,” Harada answered. </p>
<p>“Any officer who gets shot or killed is a big deal to us,” Aizawa said. “And in particular, this officer getting shot is a big deal to <i>me</i>. Not only is he a great officer and a great person, but he also happens to be my boyfriend. So you’re going to tell me <i>anything</i> that I ask you.” </p>
<p>“That may be, but he still went against Lord Kira—”</p>
<p>“Shut up!” Aizawa shouted, he could not help it. He tried to calm down, but found it very difficult to do so. “Stop calling him that.” </p>
<p>“He is our savior-” </p>
<p>“Your so-called "savior" is nothing but a cold-blooded serial killer,” Aizawa told him. </p>
<p>“He is making this world a better place by getting rid of criminals and leaving only kind-hearted people in the world.” </p>
<p>Aizawa had to laugh slightly at the irony of this man’s statement. “You’re right. Kira does kill criminals. Criminals like yourself.” He felt a sort of vindictive pleasure at the man’s expression as he realized what this meant. “I believe you’ll be one of your <i>savior’s</i> next victims. And all I can say is, you deserve it. In fact, I hope Kira kills you.” </p>
<p>Aizawa heard the door open behind him and knew that he had crossed some sort of line. </p>
<p>“Aizawa,” came Ide’s voice. “That’s enough for now.” </p>
<p>“Sure thing,” Aizawa said as he glared coldly at Harada. He had more to say, but he was certain that he would be in trouble if he said the other things on his mind. Instead, Aizawa turned and followed Ide out of the room. </p>
<p>“Telling the suspect that he deserves to be killed by Kira? And that you hope it happens?” Ide asked. “I really don't think we’re supposed to say things like that, Aizawa. Even if that’s how we feel about it.” </p>
<p>“I know, I’m sorry,”Aizawa said. “I let my anger take over me again. I didn’t mean it.” </p>
<p>“Yes you did,” Ide said calmly. “And it’s okay to feel that way, especially for you in this particular case. But you just can’t <i>tell</i> the suspect that you want him to be killed. And you can’t make it sound like you’re rooting for Kira.” </p>
<p>Aizawa also knew he had been in the wrong to let the suspect know that he had any kind of relationship with Matsuda. It wasn't always the best thing to let a suspect know if one of the questioning officers was in any way related to, or involved with, the victim.  </p>
<p>“If it’s all the same to you, I think we better leave Harada’s questioning up to myself and Mogi from now on,” Ide continued.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s probably best,” Aizawa agreed. </p>
<p>“Still, you got a confession out of him. And a motive, too.” Ide smiled and said, “You played a big part in bringing Matsuda’s shooter that much closer to justice.” </p>
<p>Mogi went back in to talk to the suspect. Aizawa and Ide watched from the window. </p>
<p>“I don't know what kind of sentence they're going to give this guy, but it won’t be enough, whatever it is,” Aizawa said. “It’s a good thing you stopped me when you did. I was about to say things that were a lot worse than what I had already said.” </p>
<p>“I can understand that,” Ide said. “This is about Matsuda after all.” </p>
<p>“Do you know he was actually <i>smiling</i> when he looked at the images of Matsuda after he was shot?” Aizawa said. “That’s what really set me off. And when he said that he meant to kill Matsuda.” </p>
<p>Ide shook his head. “Kira supporters are fanatics. They’ll do whatever they can to help their “God”. How’s Matsuda doing? I’ve haven't seen him yet today.” </p>
<p>“He’s doing really well actually,” Aizawa said. “I think he’ll be released in a few days.” </p>
<p>“That’s good,” Ide said. </p>
<p>“Of course I don’t regret what I did!” Harada’s raised voice came through the window. “If I was given the chance to do it again I would. Only this time around, I would make sure I saw the officer die before I left the scene.” </p>
<p>These words outraged Aizawa. Without thinking, he began heading for the door of the interrogation room. Ide hurried ahead and stood in front of Aizawa, to prevent him from going inside. </p>
<p>“What do you think you’re doing?” Ide asked him. </p>
<p>“You heard what he said about Matsu,” Aizawa said. “I’m going to give that piece of crap exactly what he deserves.”</p>
<p>“Aizawa, Aizawa. Calm down,” Ide said. “You can’t just go charging in there while Mogi is talking to him and you’re not allowed to do anything to him. You know that. If you hurt him, even though Harada is a suspect, you could end up being his cellmate. Is that what you want?” </p>
<p>“Of course not, but I can’t let him—” </p>
<p>“Aizawa, I understand why you’re angry. Believe me, I get it. I know that this is how you instinctively react to anyone who hurts Matsuda, but Matsuda wouldn’t want you to get in trouble over this.” </p>
<p>Aizawa thought back to his conversation with Matsuda earlier. He also had concerns that Aizawa wouldn’t be able to control himself when it came to the man who had shot Matsuda. He had promised Matsuda that he would stay calm and not overreact. He wouldn’t go back on his word. And it wouldn’t do either of them any good, if Aizawa did something that only got him in deep trouble. </p>
<p>He sighed and said, “You’re right. Sorry about that.” </p>
<p>Ide seemed relieved. “Good. Hey listen, we have witnesses to talk to. Maybe we should work on that. I don’t think you need to be here, listening to Harada. Actually, I don't think you <i>should</i> be here listening to him.” </p>
<p>This was true enough. Anything Harada said was bound to set off Aizawa. He agreed to go with Ide to talk to some of the witnesses. </p>
<p>Interviewing witnesses and then filing the reports on the witnesses’ testimonies, took the rest of the day. Aizawa clocked out and headed back to the hospital. Looking forward to the day that Matsuda would be well enough to leave. </p>
<p>*					*					*<br/>
Around six o’clock that evening, Aizawa showed up at the hospital to see Matsuda. </p>
<p>Matsuda had been a little anxious since Aizawa had left earlier. He knew he could trust Ide and Mogi to stop Aizawa if they had to, but he had been nervous nonetheless. </p>
<p>Aizawa came in, kissed Matsuda, and then took a seat beside Matsuda’s bed. </p>
<p>Matsuda immediately asked him the first question that came to mind. “Did you talk to him?” </p>
<p>“I did.” Aizawa paused. “And now I’m never allowed to speak to him again.” </p>
<p>Matsuda groaned. “Oh Shichi...what did you do?” </p>
<p>“I didn’t <i>do</i> anything. I said some things that I shouldn’t have though.” </p>
<p>“I’m not even sure that I want to know, but what did you say?” </p>
<p>“Something about how he deserves to be killed by Kira. And that I hope he is.” </p>
<p>“And that didn’t go over well?” Matsuda asked with a hint of sarcasm. “I wonder why.” </p>
<p>“There were worse things that I wanted to say to him, too,” Aizawa said. “It’s a good thing I held my tongue then. At the very least, I would have been suspended if I had actually said any of it.” </p>
<p>“Were you able to get anything out of him before you were banished from the interrogation room?” </p>
<p>“To start, his name is Jiro Harada.” Aizawa continued to tell Matsuda that he was able to get a confession out of Harada, the suspect’s motive, and everything else that Harada told him.</p>
<p>“He told Mogi that he doesn’t have any regrets about this either,” Aizawa said and Matsuda could hear the anger in his voice. “That he would do it again if he could and make sure he saw you die. Ide had to stop me when I heard that. I was ready to go in there and do some serious harm to Harada.” </p>
<p>Matsuda remembered Ide assuring him that neither he nor the Mogi would let Aizawa do anything dangerous. </p>
<p>“I’m glad we found him though,” Aizawa continued, as he took hold of Matsuda's hand. “He can’t hurt anyone else, and it saves me the trouble of hunting him down myself.” </p>
<p>“He’s a Kira supporter, right?” Matsuda asked. “Do you think all of his supporters want to be rid of the police?”  </p>
<p>“Possibly,” Aizawa said. “Which is troubling, since we can't tell Kira supporters from anyone else.”  </p>
<p>“Kira supporters are even posing as witnesses in order to bring police officers to them,” Matsuda said, recalling the incident when Aizawa had been taken hostage. Somewhat bitterly he added, “And apparently, they stand outside the station waiting to ambush us, too.” </p>
<p>It troubled Matsuda that none of them would really be safe until Kira was caught and brought to justice. It made him worry about the safety of Ide, Mogi, and most especially, Aizawa. Losing any of them would be absolutely devasting, but if Matsuda lost Aizawa...he tried not to think about that. The mere thought brought tears to Matsuda's eyes.</p>
<p>He squeezed Aizawa's hand tightly as he thought about what would happen if they did catch Kira. Even then, the most devout supporters would probably hold a grudge against the police force for imprisoning Kira. Kira would probably be subsequently executed, too. </p>
<p>Matsuda did not even want to think about what Kira’s worshippers would do then.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next few chapters are coming very soon! I'm going to do my best to post two or three chapters every week. In the meantime, I hope you've enjoyed what you've read so far. I would appreciate any feedback, so please consider letting me know your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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